so, just got back from a week at the beach, which was awesome. i spent a lot of time contemplating the thread from a couple of weeks ago about how women of certain ages or sizes or whatever shouldn't be wearing bathing suits that might show something that someone somewhere might consider unsightly (and spent a lot of time surrounding 'imperfect' people with love for being outside enjoying life despite the censure of the judgmental.)
while i wasn't offended by big/old/wrinkly/odd-shaped people in small bathing suits, there WERE plenty of things that did make my temperature rise and remind myself to breathe and relax and ignore and chill out.
the beach (ocean city) was jammed. (assateague was much better- pay the fee and go there! there are ponies!) close quarters were unavoidable. and of course, some people smoke. my huge peeve to the smokers isn't so much the smoking (although like many former smokers, i now find the odor appalling). you are allowed to smoke outside and i support your right to do so. but of all the many smokers smoking away in that crush, i didn't see one (and yes, judgmental me did watch for it), not ONE, have a container for their butts. they ALL put them out in the sand and left them there.
ew ew ew. a sandy, itchy, blistered pox upon all smokers who do that.
i got nailed in the face with sand from people standing upwind from me and shaking out their towels. on a very calm day you can get away with that. when it's breezy, is it that hard to walk your towels down to the water or to the parking lot and shake them away from other people?
playing loud music. i know, i know, you NEED to hear your favorite band wailing away in order to maximize your beach experience. but in this age of ipods and earbuds, do you really need to blast the rest of us out? some of us just like the music of waves and seagulls. noise is inevitable on a busy beach, but do you have to blare your tunes so loudly that everyone for 50 feet around can make out every profanity?
the worst was the screaming at the kids. i'd blissfully blocked out how stressful it is to be a parent on a beach. there's no relaxing when you have littles and an ocean that can be dangerous. and that can pluck a parent's last nerve. but the ol' man and i were both taken aback at the amount of yelling, scolding, dragging, swearing and whupping we saw. i'll bet fully half the kids on the beach were not having fun, they were getting constantly reamed by Angry Big People. of course, that did make the calm, relaxed families all the more wonderful to see in action. i hope i didn't spend too much time as an Angry Big Person when the boys were small, but i'm uncomfortably aware that i probably hollered and scolded more than i like to remember.
i know, sounds like all i did was fume. i really didn't. but i did become aware of what my older-woman hot buttons are developing into and what traits are inherently mine and what seem to be age and circumstance related.
so, when you're reclined in your beach chair, comfortably hidden behind your ray-bans, what are things that catch your people-watching eye on the beach? what makes you smile, and what makes you wish you had a magic wand?
:) khairete
S.
you guys are awesome! what fun i had reading all these responses!
i confess to being a little spoiled. bermuda has the best beaches in the world, they're mostly uncrowded, and people are much better about cleaning up after themselves there. but i'm not a beach snob. i love any and all beaches. just love the water.
i am mildly crowd-phobic which made the insane busy-ness of the OC beach harder for me. didn't stop me from enjoying it, but i certainly found the relative peace of assateague wonderfully soothing. and only i could be there on pony penning day and not even know it! i've wanted to watch the pony swim ever since i read misty half a century ago.
it's nice to be back on my quiet farm and not have the psychic press of people all around. but i miss the sound of waves, the sparkling foam flying from the breakers, and the seagulls. and having my ol' man around too. we're finding our childless vacations very sweet, even though we miss our 'little' boys.
:) khairete
S.
I cant deal with people not watching their kids in the water. I saw one woman leave her baby, who was not even old enough to walk, in the lake while she spent what felt like 5 hrs but probably was more like 10 minutes packing all their stuff up to leave. He went head under several times but was able to right himself, and coughed out some water. I couldnt believe it. I stood close just in case, I really wanted to just slap her.
My beach gripe is:
People who bring their dog(s) to the beach (because they are running, lots of runners here bring their dog to the beach), and the dog poops, and they do NOTHING about it.
Or people who leave used condoms on the beach.
I really don't care, what kind of bathing suit a person wears nor do I give a rip what age they are or what their body looks like.
But, I'd rather see a 60 year old in a tasteful bikini... instead of a 3 year old in a tacky skanky bikini. Which I do see here a lot... mini-doll like 3 year olds, in an overtly tacky/sexy bikini, complete with hair bows and bows on the tush.
As someone wrote before, the colder the water, the better the behavior. Up here in the Northeast, I get to enjoy warm sands and very cold water. I actually love swimming and jumping in waves in cold water. And if I keep walking, there's ususally a quiet area, even on a crowded day. For a special vacation, there are beaches in Ogunquit, Maine, that are gorgeous and filled with well-behaved, children-loving, folks.
OK, now you've made me wish it were a beach day! :)
The Oregon Beaches are usually too cold for beach chairs and lounging...:)
That said, out in public, what makes me smile:
The smokers that quickly move 'downwind' when the first person kindly asks...
The kids who want to talk with other kids-- are friendly, who smile...
The parents who (instead of yelling) get up and go over to their child, put their hand on a shoulder and whisper in their ear to correct them...
The parents who jump in with a band-aid or something helpful when a stranger's child is hurt...
People who make an effort to pick up their trash
Magic wand time:
Yes on the loud music. It's a bit like dogs marking their territory, trying to establish dominance...
Loud, rude talking loaded with profanity (see above--)...
People who let their kids eat 100% junk food and then scream at them for falling apart. If I had only Doritos and Slim Jims and ice cream for lunch, I'd be a mess too...
The flat-out checked-out parent. I understand that you have to text every little thing you do to your Facebook page, but do I need to log on to tell you that your kid is taking toys away from little children and needs to come sit with you for a bit?
People with too-revealing, ill-fitting clothes and lastly-- it just makes me laugh--dangerously high heels at inappropriate places. I don't know whether to laugh or wait anxiously for a broken ankle or neck.
Last time I was at the beach there was crowd of 3 older ladies sitting in low chairs right inside the water, probably just above ankle deep. Some boys were digging in the sand about 2' from them, and they were digging deep! Big shovels and all. They had a huge thing going on and then one of the ladies actually told them to move down the beach because they were getting splashed as the boys were in and out of the water getting it for their sand creations. WHAT? You're on the beach, right by the sand, in the water and you're bitching at kids splashing and playing? Go home.
S.,
LOL! We recently had a week at the beach as well.
The funniest thing was a dad there with the cabana, 2 boys under 4, and it appeared that these children had been beamed down to him the day before! Not a CLUE what to do when they fought, cried, tantrumed etc. (I'm assuming mom was relaxing in the condo or at the pool, well deserved) but this guy picked up his screaming 2 year old, and asked his 4 year old to "get that bucket of (salt) water" and then instructed the 4 year old to pour it on the 2 year old because "maybe he was too hot"!
Yep--didn't work. He packed it up and headed for the condo about 10 minutes after that.
On a good note: I was complimented by another parent (whose kid my son had be-friended) that they noticed that no matter where our son was all week (pool, ocean, grounds, etc.) that O. or both of us was RIGHT THERE with him. Apparently a dying practice? Anyhoo--that was nice to hear.
Funny--that "hot mom" post went through my mind a few times during our beach week. Honestly, it made me have more respect & admiration for the somewhat out of shape moms playing, swimming & laughing with their kids at the pool, on the beach...AND it struck me as paradoxical that I would bet not O. of the men had O. teensy thought about what he looked like in HIS swimsuit! (It was obvious. I even saw a Speedo!)
Other beach pet peeves? Feeding the gulls on a super crowded beach!
I HATE when I see a young kid 10y or younger without adult supervision in the ocean. We were at a hotel on the beach watching one such kid. A wave got him and he didn't reappear. There was no lifeguard stand at this stretch of beach. I started to panic. Just as I was getting ready to call 911, my MIL spotted him a bit down the beach. Turns out the wave carried him about 30 feet down the beach out of my line of view.
2nd pet peeve is when I see a group of adults lounging, partying while their toddlers 30 ft away at the waters edge playing in the ocean. No adult. No life jacket. Yes the kid is playing in front of them, but 30 ft. is too much of a buffer for my comfort for a toddler at the ocean. To much can happen too quickly.
Thanks for this... your post and the responses gave me a big chuckle. It is funny and sad and so so apparent that we need more chlorine in the gene pool when we are in a place with a lot of people to watch.
Hazel, you wrote everything I would have~
East Coast Beaches are different than West Coast ones. We most often frequent the northern coast of California, which is really too cold to lounge or swim, so we don't see a lot of this stuff. I guess for me it's the swearing and F-bombs every other word that gets me. Ahhh... to be young and " cool" again.
Come to the West coast... bring your layers and blankets. Sit on the giant rocks and watch the surf... search the tide pools. No better place to relax and be at one with nature~ I love the ocean.
My biggest pet peeve revolves around safety. As a former lifeguard and now as a parent I am shocked by people who do not watch their children carefully. When my son was 2, I saved a 5 year old who waded out too far, took an accidental gulp of water from a boat and sank silently underwater with a terrified look in her eyes. Her parent was at least 50 feet away on the beach, talking with friends and had no idea (I didn't even know where her parent was at the time, only figured it out after I saved her). Fortunately I was 3 feet away and in the water. I grabbed her and hauled her up and out. Our state has so many drownings especially of kids under age 15, it makes my stomach turn.
And I do hate smoke no matter where I am. I don't care if it is indoors or outdoors, it is gross people and rude to pollute the lungs of the rest of us. I don't care if someone chews tobacco as long as they spit into a container. I am also someone who honks loudly at anyone I see throwing butts out their car window. Litter is litter!
Why should I care if someone looks bad in their bathing suit...I just don't spend time looking at them...guess I am too busy watching my kid to make sure he doesn't drown :)
Magic Wand:
- Cars on the beach. It burns my toast so bad. I grew up on no car beaches. Beautiful cold unadulterated coastlines, free for the walking. Here in Washington, the beach may as well be a parking lot/highway. Look out at the sea and what do you see? A lift kit. Blarg.
- Water too polluted and filthy to swim in. I went to a beach in California some time ago and I was so bummed out by the trip. The sand may as well have been a landfill. The waves themselves gave off a sick smell and frothed ocher. Hate that. Hate it so much. Doesn't even boil my blood. Just makes me really, really, really sad.
- Sharks. I know, it's a really dumb fear. But there it is. I'm afraid of sharks. I didn't used to be. Came on when I was pregnant. Weird.
But, HOORAY: Most everything else about the beach gives me joy. I love beaches. Sandy beaches, muddy beaches, rock or lava beaches, hot beaches, cold beaches, rainy beaches, sunny beaches, crowded beaches, empty beaches. Makes little difference to me. I just can't be inland for too long before I start to itch. My favorite place on earth is any coastline. (but P.S. I've spent very little time on East Coast beaches...or on the East Coast for that matter. Perhaps my groans list would be longer if I had).
Well, I'm 32 but I live at the B. and I will tell you something I learned a long time ago...apathy is your friend.
Im good at being oblivious to what is physically going on around me (barring actual harm/crime, etc) and focusing on my intentions for the day. On that note, most things make me smile at the B..
Hunting for sharks teeth
Finding the perfect shells
Unexpected treasures, I found a huge sand dollar last week
My family having a blast
About the only thing that makes me cringe is when toddlers are alone in the ocean with only arm floaties. Why do parents not understand those things will not save your child? It scares me. Anything else I just tune out :)
LOL "older woman hot buttons" I love it!!!
I am only 44 and I can feel these developing too! Sometimes they get pushed when I'm on this site and I find I really need to bite my tongue :)
Luckily here in Northern California we have many large, beautiful and uncrowded beaches to choose from so the issues with crowds and music and smoking is rarely an issue, but I can see where that would be a huge bummer.
And the parents yelling and scolding their kids? I can usually tolerate that (like you said, I'm sure I did it more than I care to remember) but the swearing and hitting? That never rubs me the right way, whether it's at the beach or at the store, I can't STAND to see that. And of course you can't say anything because you know it's only going to make the parent angrier, which of course the child will pay for :(
I'm glad you were able to rise above it all and enjoy your day. I believe that's the key to true happiness, being able to rise above the s**t we see around us (isn't that some kind of ancient Chinese proverb?)
Grrr, cigarette butts in the sand are VILE. Anyone who does that should be located by DNA testing and forced to eat the sandy butts!!!
On our last trip to the beach, a little boy around 7 years old was accidentally separated from his parents. I heard the poor thing crying and looked up too see a nice lady with her arm around him asking questions like what his mom looked like, where did they park, etc, and leading him up the beach toward the parking lot and life guard stand. Just nice to see someone who was willing to give up a bit of their beach day to help out a lost little boy.
oooohhhh dear!!!
The East Coast beaches are SOO different from West Coast beaches...
My husband is a smoker. However, when we've been to the beach - he does NOT leave his butts in the sand - nope, nope, nope. he is a considerate smoker. He doesn't smoke in my car unless he asks and I say "yes". And yes, I've said NO!!!
It does make me upset when people shake their towels out - even on a calm day - where do you think the sand went? DAH!!!
What makes me smile??? Listening to the kids laugh and scream in delight!!
What makes me wish I had a magic wand?? Men in speedos!!! it makes me nuts when I see men in speedos - good bodies or not...I've NEVER EVER been a fan of them - even when I was on the swim team!!
One of the things that cracks me up is old guys in speedos. For some reason that is popular down here (think it's a European thing).
I get highly annoyed with people who insist on throwing footballs or frisbees in areas THICK with people. I've spent many afternoons ducking or worrying about ducking. Just the other day I was up on the pavilion and heard someone holler "HEADS UP" and and a half second later I nearly got decapitated by a frisbee. :P
One late afternoon, though, my family and I were all in the water. Suddenly I saw a guy running down the beach, pointing and yelling at us. I thought "Sheesh, what is his freaking problem?" Well, I turned around to see a very large shark fin RIGHT BEHIND US, buzzing south down the shoreline. Ummm, so I was thankful for that guy. Never have I seen my guys high-tail it faster out of the water.
Sigh . . . the joys of summer. :)
My peeve at the beach (and can I just say, it's a lake...we don't swim at beaches...which may be a pet peeve of my too...I regress) - People that bring their dogs to the beach. ICK. Throwing sticks in the water so Rover can run all around in and out of the water, shaking off on me or the kids, jumping and running and scaring the kids, and NOT ON A LEASH. We have leash laws. It's even nastier when that dog is PEEING IN THE WATER! ICK.
What I love - Watching little babies in the water. Discovering the water, squealing with delight, splashing themselves in the face and then being startled. Love it.
Well - at least Ocean City does NOT have the plague of mosquitoes that Assateague has. Now THAT was the worst experience ever.
You know what? I've learned that I'm a lot happier when I pay attention to the people I'm with than what everyone else around me is doing. It's a constant battle, but let's face it, people can be jerks, and you can't control it - you are pissed off & they're having the time of their lives, oblivious to everyone else. I kind of envy them, in a way.
Honestly, though? I wish I had a beach nearby, just be thankful that you are able to go whenever you want.
I can't think of any bad beach experiences here except for catching someone who couldn't walk 100 feet to the nearest trash can to throw away a dirty diaper and tried to bury the effing thing. And yessiree Bob, I did say something. Nass-tee.
Otherwise, I'm pretty oblivious to other peoples' misbehaviors at the beach. I'm too busy enjoying the company of those I'm with unless I see a cute little kid seeing the ocean for the first time or trying to figure out how wet sand is different than dry sand. I take a lot of pictures at the beach. My girls are little beach bunnies, even my special needs daughter (and it took YEARS for her to learn to enjoy the beach without forcing it on her). They enjoy lakes too.
I grew up on East Coast beaches, but my favorite beaches are in Bermuda no contest.
I love Assateague and Ocean City!!
I can't stand being at the beach and other people acting like I'm an a-hole when I tell their kids to stop running across my beach towel, stop kicking sand in my drink, hey, red flags out, get out of the water. My kids don't act like hellions, and other people's kids aren't going to ruin it for me!
I know a ridiculous amount about random beach stuff. I'll take the kids hunting for sea shells and explain the different types of shells, dig for sand crabs, show them egg shells, etc etc etc... I usually end up with a healthy group of other kids tagging along (grown ups too!)... but there's always that ONE PERSON who won't get off their butt and teach their own kids this stuff, that act like I'm the devil for teaching strangers kids new things... because I have tattoos. Let the kids have a good time! They're staying out of trouble! They're not running over my towel and kicking sand in my drink! And, OMG, they're learning something and having FUN!
Those things aside, nothing can ruin a beach trip. The beach brings the light out of my soul and makes it shine! Hope you had fun :)
We have been back from the beach for about a week. We went to Myrtle Beach though. While I'm only 3 hours from OC, I've never been!!
Myrtle Beach was amazing. The beach that is. It was not packed, people were mostly respectful, and we were with tons of friends - so that made it better of course.
We did OBX in May and that was heaven because not many people were there at all, school was still on.
We did VA Beach last year and that is exactly what you are describing. It was miserable. People were rude, we literally had to step on people to get to the water because it was that packed.
I've heard OC is packed like that, so we may go one day, but I think I've found heaven in OBX and Myrtle Beach beaches with the calm that the beach should be.
The thing that pisses me off is people who bring dogs and then let them off leash unchecked. My son was chased by a dog on a Florida beach, the dog was able to get a mouthful of bathing suit on his rear and start pulling it down, that could have been centimeters closer to an actual bite, and the owner didn't even apologize OR grab the dog off, my sister was there to do it.
While I have been to beaches all over the country, it's been years since I've been to one of those packed-to-the-gills beaches. West coast beaches are different, as most people are not there to cool down in the water like they are in the hot humid east and midwest (chicago beaches can be insane too).
I spent a day at Island Beach State park, NJ last week and was thrilled! I came home RAVING happily about how I didnt see or smell one cigarette, didnt hear loud music or yelling, didnt see extremely obese people in tiny string bikinis , and.......not one Speedo!!! My new favorite beach! My 20 yr old who suggested it said "yeah I thought you'd like it better than where we usually go, it's more of a family beach, no boardwalk=few teens, quieter families! so choose a diff beach next time!
On the other hand, I think this mamapedia judging other's bathing suits has worn off on me!!, I went to Sesame Place water park and noticed tons of large breasted moms in VERY low cut bathing suits! Made me so glad to be small breasted and not have to worry about extreme sagging!
Maybe it’s just me but I notice more parents yelling at their children to not do things and less of them actually spending time with them. I know not all parents are like this but I have noticed that the younger generations seem to want things all about themselves and seem inconvenienced when the kids want to do something they think is fun.
I am a former smoker and I always put the butts in the garbage, I figured I was taking the rest of my trash why not those too. When I was growing up and would regularly visit the Jersey Shore I would find tampon applicators and other really nasty things in the sand (much worse than a cigarette butts).
I don’t like people blasting the music (at the beach or anywhere else), I shouldn’t have to yell to speak to the person next to me. I do enjoy the sound of the waves and children playing and having fun.
:) Fun post. Haven't been to the beach for a while, so no comment.
Hilarious. I laughed through your post, and looked twice for a "like" or "flower" button and had to remind myself you can't do that for questions. But for the record, I'd "like" this and would send flowers for it if possible. :P
We go to Hilton Head Island 3-4 time a week right now, and love every minute. But we do have survival skills that help out: we like to go early and start the day with the tide starting to come in, waves rolling through. There are few people there at the beach (at that time) that we go to: you'll see a couple people doing yoga, there are people riding their bikes (or rentals) when the tide is low, there are joggers with their dogs (but it's seasonal: they can't be without a leash on the beach during the tourist season, and we've never one time seen an issue with the dogs otherwise...it's usually joggers and the dogs run with them, and it's sweet). During "tourist season" we never go to Walmart on weekends (ha), and it seems the tourists come out around lunch time and stay during the heat of the day. We go in the morning OR the evening; the heat of the day is to eat at home and put the kids down for naps. On week days, we do whatever we want. For some reason, I don't think I've ever heard ANY music ANY time on the beach. I have seen some people smoke, but not often, and I've never found butts so I guess they clean up their mess.
The only pet peeve I have are when people "steal" some souvenirs like LIVE sand dollars. And not just one, but a bag full of them. One group was overtly doing it, and after like 12 of them going in a bag, I was like "Not sure if you know this, but those are alive, and there are signs posted that you can get a huge fine for removing them from the beach". She said "Oh. Well, we're from Georgia, so I want the souvenir." A yoga lady overheard it and told a lifeguard. A few minutes later, someone rode out on a 4 wheeler and spoke to them, and they put the sand dollars back in the water. That's the only "drama" I've ever seen.
What makes me happiest: watching little ones run to the water, then turn around and run away from the wave, back and forth. Listening to and watching the surf. Spotting dolphins (or Saturday evening, WHALES!)...but I would not go to a beach that was too crowded for me. (I don't mind people, but don't want to have to walk around having to look for a good spot to set up. I've seen pictures of beaches littered with umbrellas and people are elbow to elbow. I would be terrified of losing my kids, and also, that's like a sea of people, not nature. Yucky.
I find it funny that I'm not the only one that is still thinking about that judgmental "hot mom" post. There are women who lay around on the beach being "hot" I suppose. But I'm happy that my husband has fun with me, playing with me, each of us holding a child and throwing them over the waves when "a big one" comes, etc. We play like crazy: soccer, kites, shell hunting (specifically horseshoe crab shells), bocce, swimming, splashing around and enjoying the waves, keeping our eyes open for dolphins (which never fail to excite me), building sand cities, etc.
We drive to CA and go to my old neighborhood beach. NO ONE is around. So it truly is me and my family and maybe 2 or 3 other families on the beach. So I don't experience this, luckily, but I know it happens and I would hate it to.
Now don't get me started on all the sh-- that bothers me at the movie theaters...THAT is a sore subject with me! =)
LOL!! I am a beach lovin Mama, and I DO smoke, and have kids in tow... I also listen to music while there. Oh yeah, AND we eat too. (you didn't mention that one, which always bothers me. I can't stand watching all of the food "trash" floating in the water and flapping in the breeze. Baggies, foil, etc) You will always find me sitting at my gulf beach in the white sand, BUT, and this is a big BUT.................. I always have a half empty can of soda or bottle of salt water to drop my cigg butts in, because I don't want to leave them on the beach for little feet to step on, (or birds to try to eat), and I have a bag for our trash, our music isn't loud, (but I don't use an ipod, I use a regular radio), and I usually have a book. I try not to yell at my kids, because I am there to RELAX, and my kids do their best to stay away from me, lol. They know the rules, and follow them so we can GO BACK. The only time you will probably hear me yeling, is if I have to yell because someone is doing something that they could get hurt doing, which is rare. Our beach days are usually quite peaceful. Luckily, our beach is far less crowded than Ocean City too. :)
