Our daughter is 16 months old and NEVER had a problem since 2 months old going to sleep. EVER. We had to take a long weekend away (her first time away) and we brought her matress b\c we were staying with my grandparents. She went to bed there great. What I did was lay next to her mattress until she was ALMOST asleep and left the room. I have never done that otherwise at home. At home I walk out of the room when she's drowsy and at times if she does cry, I let her cry for about 5-10 minutes before I return but I never have to return b\c she's really great on going to bed herself. My problem........since we have been home as soon as she points to her bed to lay down I put her there and I step away and stand in the doorway that I've been doing for the past 6 months or so and she gets up and starts to cry her head off. I continuously put her back down and stay by her side for a few seconds and creep back to the door. Eventually she goes to sleep on her own. Has anyone ever experienced a great sleeper and then take them out of their element for a few days and then it seems like you have to start at square one??????? Any feedback would be great. Let me just let you in on something else too. My husband workds nights and he recently is at home on a temperary layoff for a few months and this also started since he's been off. He just left to the store and she went to bed just great with no hassels tonight like she always did before...I told him from now on he has to leave when she goes to bed.Hahahahahaha Just a joke!! Could that be part of the problem too? Has anyone experiences these two scenario's???
N. - this sounds pretty normal. Most any little thing can upset their schedule. I'd say just keep being consistent, and it will pass.
Any change to a little ones schedule, such as Daddy's home now, can throw them off temporarily. She is used to him being gone when she goes to bed so if he is home she feels like she is supposed to be up. This too shall pass.
Hi N.,
If you haven't tried already, maybe try some soothing music to help your daughter fall asleep. That always seemed to help my children. Good luck!
We had this similiar problem when he went from a crib to a bed. Never had problem going to bed on his own. I had to start putting a portable DVD player in his bed with him, because I wasn't getting enough sleep and pregnant at the same time this was happening, and I knew this had to stop before the new baby arrived. It works, the DVD player only has a 2 hr battery so I don't have to worry about turning it off. He usually falls asleep before it does anyways. I do hate the fact I have to do this with him and now he depends on it. But, we are both happier getting a full night's sleep. It's his companion so he doesn't get scared it also provides a nightlight of some sort.
My son was the same way. We had to "re-teach" him how to go to bed 4 or 5 times before he was 3 due to various reasons (vacations, illnesses, change in schedule). The good news is, it gets easier every time. If it took 2 weeks initially to teach her to go to bed, this time it will take less, and the next time, it will take fewer still. It is frustrating though. Just stick to your routine and she'll come around. Baden is 4 1/2 now and he is a champ, he even advises his little sister (they share a room) about how to go to sleep!
We just had the same problem!!! Our 16 mo. old, who was a wonderful sleeper, started doing the same thing. We got a lot of advice from mamma source but ended up switching up his routine a bit. Now after bath, jammies and stories, we rock for about 5 mins. I walk him to his crib and hold him another 5 mins or so and than I lay him down. It seems to be working (for about 5 days now) We also leave the bedroom door craked open and the hall light on for about a half hour. We've always played a CD at night and I think that really helps too. Good Luck!! I know how maddening it can be, hang in there it gets better!! I promise!!
I had almost the same problem with my son, I was always the one to put him to bed and then I started getting stuck with night shifts at work so Daddy was the one taking over bed time, what a nightmare. My son's bedtime was 8:00p no if's and's or buts about it and he was still awake when I would get home at 10:15p I would go and lay him down and he would be out, but on my days off he was right to bed and sleep no later than 8:15p every night. So I quit doing nights and everything is back to normal. My advice to you is really for her, and your sake it would probably be better if your husband did leave for at least a 1/2 hour just so she can get back into the routine she is used to, and he doesn't even have to leave the house, send him to the basement or the garage for a bit. Unless you want to have to go through this again when she gets used to dad being home and then all of a sudden he's not there at night again. Good luck to you all and I hope you find something that works
Hi N.,
Our daughter is doing the same thing. She also is like a swiss watch when it comes to bedtime and naptime - it is such a blessing. We just got back from five days at Grandma's house in another time zone and she is off her time schedule for napping and bedtime which makes for a struggle to go to sleep. We are doing the same thing as you guys, except my husband can stay. We are sticking to her same bedtime routine and when she cries I go in after 5 min and cover her back up and tell her again it is bedtime. She is sleepy but fighting it. I know she is using her angry cry and she turns it off right when I come in the room. Since vacation she wasn't napping as long and this morning she woke up two hours early and was wide awake and hungry, ugh! She just went down for her nap two hours early and today will prove to be another struggle to get her to sleep at bedtime. I also think the time change and the late sunset is making her inner clock goofy. We may move her bedtime back a little bit if this doesn't correct itself. I may also try getting her outside for a walk and fresh air before bed to tire her out a bit. Be patient and stick with what you are doing and don't use props to get her to sleep. She'll get back on track and back to your little sleep angel again. Good luck!
A.
Hi N.
Our daughter is just 7 months old, but we have traveled a bit and had to get her back on schedule. The worse was after Christmas. We returned home for a few days and then were off to visit my brother. Previously she had slept through the night since 2months, after that she was up constantly. The thing that brought her back around to sleeping was her warm bath right before bed. Since then everytime we go out of town we just give her a bath (or at least let her play in warm water). It even worked when we went to Montana with the time change. Not sure if it'll be the same for a 16 month old, but hope so.
This is my response to Linda C's response:
Your response to this question........is confusing to me. First I agree fully that kids need to feel safe and secure, I have a 16 month old little girl and we do whatever we can do keep her safe, happy and healthy. Your response is a little tough....kids need to feel safe, BUT...they also know how to "play the game" they know that if they cry enough then mum or dad will come. We also have to teach kids to soothe themselves and they have to know how to do that on their own. Obvously their child can do that since they did that before, so now it just seems to me that it is a game and their child know's it and will keep doing it.
Anyway, I think it is great that you have grown kids and are a professional etc, but that does not make you "know it all"!!!!!
S.
Hi N.,
Every time we have ever had a vacation it has taken about a week to get back into our normal routine. It's usually a pretty long week for me but after that it's back to the norm. Keep doing what you have and she will get back to what she is used to. Just stay consistant. Good luck.
Chris
N. -
I have been there! My three-year-old was always good at going to sleep on her own until she started teething at six months. Not only did she have a hard time going to sleep, she started getting up at night again! I was so frustrated! I did talk to my doctor and he determined that we weren't giving her enough baby motrin to help her teething. She was bigger than the age recommendation so we gave her more and that helped some. I always saw a change when my hubby was home though. Particularly for naptime. She NEVER wanted to take a nap when he was home on the weekends! This too will pass, and it may partly be due to your husband's work schedule change. I finally did start sending my husband on errands in the afternoons on weekends so my daughter would take a nap. OR I would send him up to put her down for a nap. Perhaps your husband would like to try his hand at getting your daughter down for the night. The change in routine can sometimes be good. Good luck to you!
Hi, I thought I would ask you about bottles or breast feeding? You didn't mention either. I breast fed all three of our children and I would always sit in a rocker and breast feed them and they would fall asleep at the breast. Then I would put them in their bed. When our son was weined from the breast, I would put a pacifier in his mouth and that would put him to sleep. (He was 18 months when I did that.) Maybe she needs the extra contact with you as you could rock her for awhile. Just a thought.
I am a grandma with 2 grandkids and our youngest daughter is almost 25 years old now. M. B. Monroe, Mich
good chance that what you are experiencing is "separation anxiety" 15 months or so is the age when that sort of thing happens. Your child has matured enough that they realized how dependent they are on you, and panic when you are not around. This leads to crying at the bathroom door, or any other door you close with them on the other side, and nighttime tears when you leave the room. The traditional (and often effective) cure is the "transitional object".... a favorite blanket or toy to comfort themselves with in your absence. It will go away when your child is old enough to understand that out of sight is not the same as out of the universe, and that instead of panicing, they understand that you have not vanished, that you are just out of sight. Another trick that works is playing acassette of you reading a story to them.... your reassuring voice calms them. Good luck, L.
When my son was 19 mo., My husband started a 5 to 1pm.shift. It was hard on naps 'cause when Dad was home before, it was playtime .Try having Dad put her down and say goodnight with his coat on .
don't worry about it, probibly just the adjustment to getting back into the groove again and the excitement of daddy being there... Can she hear you guys outside the room talking or anything? Something that would be different than when daddy is working? Maybe putting a fan in a corner on low till she falls asleep would help cover any new noises... Even if she cries, just keep doing what you were doing before.
Stand your ground, mom. A pattern got broken that she found likable. You've got to just wait it out, be consistent, and un-break it back to what it was.
Kids just aren't consistent. It's part of growth. They keep changing. We as parents have the hard part of keeping ahead of the game.
What I will never understand is the deep, ongoing resistance parents have with meeting their children's changing needs regarding falling asleep.
Truly -- who cares why she needs you to stay with her to feel safe? What difference does it make? Is it worth an hour of misery every single night to 'prove' that you're right, she is safe and she's wrong?
This is not a problem, it's your current reality. You can only solve problems, not reality. If she needs you to lie down with her for 43 minutes every single night for the next 18 weeks in order to feel safe and sleep easily, why is that not just a simple and obvious thing to do? Who cares what the reason is, even if there is one?
I ask that in earnest: why is it SO difficult for parents to just give kids what they need to feel safe and secure at the end of the day, so they can have an easy transition into sleep? What are they afraid they're going to create: a child without a sleep disorder?
