Big Questions for Newly Stay at Home Mom!!!!

You'll be fine. All I can suggest is get all the help you can and get out of the house for YOU time. My kids are ten months apart, and though it was terribly hard at first, it was worth it. Schedules are a big help. They are now 5 (my daughter will be 6 soon) and it's wonderful!!! Good luck.

H.,
Was he screaming at Daycare, or with dad, wherever he was before? Lots of it may be the change. A lot of people have suggested structure and I agree. We do play time (we have a small roll out rug). When we roll it out my daughter knows to go get a toy and sit on it to play, when she is done to clean it up. (17 months old and 30 wks preg). Aslo, someone else suggested a carrier (Baby Bjorn) and while I think the carrier suggestion is a great idea, the Bjorn is not the best best for a 1 year old. Look into Mei Tais, ERGO, or something you can get him up on your back with (so you can have him close and still have hands free to deal with baby). I am 30 weeks preg and wear my 17 month old on my back now when she needs mommy time. Pouches and Ring slings are also great for when baby is born and you want to hold baby (or nurse) and still have your hands free to play with your son!
Also, finding a moms group by you (Mothers and More, MOPS, Moms Club are a few) is great to get your son involved in playgroups and for support from other moms for YOU!!
K.
www.handsfreebaby.com - baby carriers for all stages

Hi H., I'm in the exact same boat as you, I just got up the guts to take the pregnancy test last nite and it came out positive. Now my husband are and in shock and upset. We're blaming each other for this "mishap" and I'm feeling like an idiot bc this happened with our first baby. My daughter is going to be 1 in 2 weeks and she is the biggest blessing but also can be a handful. I'm a nervous mom and freak out for any little thing so I have NO idea how I'm gonna handle the 2nd one. Thanks for writing, it made me feel relieved to know that others have gone through this and did just fine and that I'm not the only that will be staying dealing with 2 babies so close in age. I just hope they both end up getting along!!!
Good luck, please keep in touch, it would be a good support for us both :)
E.

I have 4 children. My first two are 18 months apart. My 2nd and 3rd are 15 months apart and the 3rd and 4th are 2yrs apart. You can do it. The first three all went through a clingy phase. That's all it is-a phase. If you just started staying home recently, it might seem worse than it is since you're not so used to it and it could be an adjustment time for him. Things will get better. Use this time to enjoy your son, the new pregnancy and your time at home. It will all work out in the end!! Good luck!

I guess I am in a bit of a similar situation in that my children are 19 months apart and I work full time from home. I will not lie and say it's easy but it is getting easier all of the time. My daughter (22 months old) is not clingy - pretty independent but she does require a lot of attention. My son just turned 2 months and is still very needy. On top of taking care of them full time I am expected to put in a full 40 hour work week.

It may be a little different since you have a boy but I find that my toddler girl loves to feel needed and like she is helping - allowing her to assist in simple tasks dealing with the baby makes her feel good. Hopefully your son will grow out of being clingy by the time baby arrives. I know there was a dramatic change in my daughter from 12 months to 18 - she was no longer my baby but an assertive little toddler.

Not sure if I really gave advice but I certainly understand what you are dealing with and will be dealing with so feel free to chat....

first; take a deep breath and relax. You are going through a big change and so is your son. I am over 40 and I don't like change, so remember that your son is only 2 and does not know how to voice his feelings. The clinging is short term (hopefully) insecurity... he will get over it (and then the baby will come and he will do something different to let his feelings known). Don't let that scare you though. It's all a part of life and his growing up. Just reasure him as much as you can. Try and keep your day with him structured: for example; story time, block time, coloring time, nap time and try and do these things as much as you can at the same time. TV is helpfull, but I don't recomend putting a toddler in front of the tv too much. Sesame Street is great, but kids today are losing thier thought process due to over stimulation from video games and tv etc. I raised (am raising) four sons and the first three had the same 2nd grade teacher... she told me that each year the kids get worse and worse with that.

if you need ideas, there are great craft things in the stores especially for kids. You could get a shoe box or something similar and make a craft / art box for him and keep it up out of his reach so he doesn't tag your walls or anything like that. Also Family Fun magazine is great with ideas from the magazine itself and the readers who write in....

Don't worry so much... pray ask for guidance and patience... also be thankfull it's not twins... one at a time is hard enought LOL

feel free to email me anytime with questions ____@____.com

S.
Elizabethville PA

Hey H.,
You must have just found out recently. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My son Miles will be 1year on Saturday and I recently I found out I am pregnant. In fact, I found out 4 months into the pregnancy and had no clue. They will be 17 months apart. I thought to myself what am I going to do? I was still nursing, Miles was Extrememly clingy, and still not sleeping through the night. Luckily, I have a great husband and support system through family and friends who are rooting me on throught this pregnancy, and will be there once baby comes. This time around take all the help that is offered and don't feel bad about it or incompetant, its hard!
Now that the news isn't so new, I've had a chance to re-evaluate and actually get excited about this. You will be fine. This past week Miles started sleeping through the night, I have weaned him from the breast, and he is much less clingy. Things just fall into place. Allow yourself to be calm and trust in it. I hope this helps. YOU CAN DO IT! I CAN TOO!
Peace and Tranquility,
E.
PS I know your little one probably can't grasp the idea that there is a baby in your tummy, but he probably recognizes words. To help prepare him use the word baby (not referencing him) and point to the tummy. If you see a baby while you gys are out, say baby and point to tummy. If you have a name picked out and know the sex, that will make it all the easier.

Hi..Since you have a child on the way I would try to get him into a play group or nursey school..even if its for just half a day..I know the germs are scary but it will help with his social skills hich are very important. Also it will develop a routine for him. Also make sure you involve him in the pregancy process. Remind him that there is a little one on the way have him helpout especially when the baby comes..Having babies close together can be very difficult but the important thing is that during this process you take some time out for yourself...and keep a routine!!!

Hi H.
Well, im in the same boat when it comes to having another baby. We found out the surprise in December and i freaked out too. It seems like it will be hard going from one to two, huh?!! I have just come to the conclusion that....well...I have to deal with it when it gets here, cause really I have no idea what is going to happen, how my son will adjust or how I will adjust. All kids are different. I am making my son aware that there is a baby in mommy's stomach, and he seems to like the idea right now. Make him aware of baby's in general. let him say hi to the baby in mommys belly, umm, take him to the sonagrams....really try to excite him about being a "big brother". alot of kids like the idea of being a big boy now, ya know?!? Anyway, i hope that made a little sense.

I am a stay at home mom too, and let me tell ya, sometimes I really wish I had a job (not that this isnt a job)! It is really overwhelming. And I know those first few months of pregnancy make it harder too!! All I can say is, hang in there mama!! just make sure you take some time for yourself when your husband is there. Being around a baby 24/7 can be really draining. And get your rest too. Good luck gir, and if you have any more ?'s just send me a message.
J.

I applaud you for being home with your child. I think it's such a wonderful blessing and your son will certainly benefit from it. I'm a work at home mom because i just felt that i wanted to be the one who influenced my child and i wouldn't trade this time i have with him for anything. You'll do fine, you'll find your rythm with your son and then with both of them.

Congratulations!!!

Both of my sons had to be held constantly. It's temperament, nothing you're doing.

But it's time to discover -- the Baby Bjorn. Your baby will spend a lot of time in this while your older child runs around acting like a tornado with feet. Just make sure to make a big deal out of big brother going into big boy bed *before* baby is born or, even better, have two cribs. (I don't remember how old my children were when they outgrew their cribs offhand.) the point is to avoid having your older child associating being kicked out of his crib and into a bed with the arrival of the baby.

You will love this. This summer when you're in the wading pool with your child(ren), look up at the blue sky and think of the fact that you could be in a staff meeting at just that moment. Hee.

Hi H.!!

WEll first off, you can do this. I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 3 mos old. Therefore, on my daughters first birthday, I just about had my second baby. They are only 11 months apart!! And my daughter is very needy. But your son will adapt. He will be jealous at first, but after a little bit he will try to help you out. Hang in there and good luck. I'm surviving. My son is now 6 mos old and my daughter is 17 mos.

H.,

First, Congrats on the new baby! My son now 2 was the exact same way and there were days when I thought I was going to go crazy. He needed me to be with him no matter what we were doing. He was a 10lbs baby so it was hard to hold him as much as he wanted. IT DOES GET BETTER! He still loves to be cuddled and wants me close but all of a sudden he started going to his room and playing with a toy for a few minutes. I found it helped alot when I sat down, got down on his level and played with him. I think it frusterated him that I was so high up.

Anyway staying at home is a challenge. I do work from home and every now and then I take him to a friends to play so I can focus. Make sure you get brakes. You will need them to maintain your sanity!

Good luck:)

S. R

hi my name is J. and i have a 16month old son and i am only 18teen and when i found out that i was having him i decided to stay home with him. if u would like to stay home and work here is my website www.thebestonlinesystem.com and u must enter acsess code 125961 call me on my cell ###-###-####