sounds like a complicated situation! :) im hoping you have some positive supportive advice.
what i would recommend is to go to www.llli.org and search for a la leche league group in your area. make sure to check all nearby towns as well. if nothing else just simply contact a leader for imformation.
is she waking you up at night to nurse? if not you should probably wake her to avoid the engorgement and overfull breasts in the morning. breasts that dont get emptied will start thinking "produce less milk" - but obviously at night she is nursing a lot so then your breasts are thinking "produce more milk". so that sounds like you just have a bit of confusion for your breasts there. just nurse on demand all the time night or day, and wake her sometime in the night to nurse that supply back down. if she is waking at night, wake her sometime after that (2 hrs or so).
milk is determined by demand. the more your baby nurses, the more milk is produced. growth spurts might make it seem as if your baby wants to nurse all day long, but this is good to keep up your supply! :)
anyway, contact a la leche league leader, or also try www.askdrsears.com! :) :)
good luck and dont give up! :)