Maybe its a spatial, maybe its a vision thing--I've noticed my husband does the same thing, but I just don't get it. It drives me mad, when something is staring them right in the face and they still can't see it. I've been 'helping' my 4 yr old clean up the toy room, which entails me giving him directions where to put his toys. Each toy has their space. I know its fully overwhelming for a 4 yr old look at a room and "clean" it up. So I break it down, and tell him okay first we are going to pick all your blocks up and put them in the red bin, then we are going to pick all your men up and put them in the blue bin etc etc.
Oh my God the kid will pick up maybe 5-10 and then just walk around aimlessly looking for more, and they are right there. At first I was frustrated, so I started trying to give him more directions. Look towards the fireplace, in front of your pirate hat, now down by your feet. That one right there-- and he still can't find them. I send my 2 yr old (mind you just 2). I say hey buddy can you go pick up the block by your brother's pirate hat, and put it in the bucket ---and he has no problem finding it. I can't tell if he really can't see them, or if he's just resisting the clean up. I mean they are literally touching his feet sometimes, and he still looking like he can't find them.
Am I expecting too much, could it be that he's still that overwhelmed even when I break it down to as simple as I can without doing it myself? I just find it hard to believe my 2 yr old is capable of following my directions and 4 yr old can't. Then again, my husband has the exact same problem. Just the other night I told him in the medicine cabinet on the first shelf there is an children's antihistimine bottle, bright pink liquid you can't miss it can you please bring it to me. He comes back with a Zyrtec bottle brown and green, I walk into the kitchen look in the medicine cabinet and its right where I told him it would be. Is this just a personality trait? Or brain overload, a hearing issue, something I'm not saying right? I'd like to help my 4 yr old so in the future, I'm not as frustrated, and his future wife isn't frustrated either...
Thoughts advice? Oh BTW I haven't taken him to have is vision tested at an eye doctor. His pediatrician just tried at his 4 yr check up, and he just didn't get it. I honestly don't think he has a vision problem tho'
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My son is the same way! He will be literally stepping on a book and when I tell him to look what he is stepping on, he'll move back and look everywhere except where his feet just were! Drives me crazy. I will sit on the floor and point to things and my son has now starting putting his hand on my finger and moving his arm down to follow where I am pointing. That has helped, but he still has trouble sometimes.
Hi,
When I was teaching 4th grade, I had a student who was exactly like your son. He was not able to follow the easiest instructions. He was tested and diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder. It turns out his mother had the same issue. I am certainly not trying to diagnose your son AT ALL. I just wanted to make you aware that further testing may be an option. You should definately talk to your pediatrician about your concerns. Good luck.
Um, I do that. And I'm a little bit older than your son.
My mind gets distracted easily. It goes off on rabbit trails. Maybe it has something to do with having a creative brain, but I'm not sure. Not that I have to be on medication or anything, but when I'm doing one job and start thinking about another, I've lost my focus on what I'm doing and it's like I'm brain dead. (I think that's what happens when I put something away quickly and then completely forget where I put it. I wasn't thinking in the first place - I was just doing motions. I hope that's what it is. It *couldn't* be age!)
I've had to learn to focus directly on what I'm doing, take a short break if it's a long project, and then focus again for a while.
Games could be helpful. "I know there is ONE green sock on the floor of your room. Can you find it and bring it to me?" And when you send him to look for things, don't give him a long list of instructions to remember. Start small, with just one instruction. When he's good at following one direction, try two. Make it fun. Don't lose your cool.
Another thing that might help *you* understand your son is to go into his room, get down on the floor so you're his height, and look around. You may discover that it's a *really big room* with a lot of distraction-making stuff in it. It's good to see things from his perspective.
Just thoughts.
P.S. For your own benefit, when you're next at your local library, look in the children's section for Betty McDonald's MRS. PIGGLE-WIGGLE'S FARM. Read the chapter titled "The Can't Find It Cure." It'll make you smile.
I'm working on this with my guy who'll be 3 in April and he primarily gets it, but some people (children and adults) don't. It may be a problem your son has focusing, or maybe he needs it broken down even more? When he picks up 5 to 10 items and starts walking aimlessly around have him put those away, then ask him to go back and get more. I tell my little guy to "look some more, where are they?" and he gets happy and excited when he finds more.
Since children should know how to follow directions before they begin kindergarten and personalities are pretty much set by 5 (they expand and mature from there) you still have time to work with him, here's some sites that may be helpful:
http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/ages-stages-le...
http://www.ziggityzoom.com/parentsguide/content/ways-teac...
http://www.livestrong.com/article/75617-teach-children-fo...
Two last possible thoughts are that he doesn't understand the reason or purpose of following your directions, maybe he's not associating the directions with cleaning his room, or he sees that Daddy does it so it's OK?
Personally, it frustrates me when people are this way, too. I have a sister in her 40's who always acted like she didn't understand what people meant when they gave her directions/instructions, yet she is highly intelligent. And to this day she cannot follow even simple directions unless she wants to and chooses to.
My four year old twin girls do this all the time. They will tell me they looked everywhere for something and then it turns out to be in the most obvious spot. I am certain it's not a vision thing, or an auditory processing thing, or ADHD or whatever else... it's just being four.
Then again, they can hunt down a pair of specific Polly Pocket shoes that they remembered seeing under the couch in the sunroom four days ago. I think it's all about motivation.
My husband is the exact same way. So is my son. I actually buy those I Spy books hoping it's a good exercise for my son. I think it's an attention thing. I would say 5-10 items is pretty good. When he loses focus give him another task and you do the rest...OR if you change tasks from blocks to men he might end up finding more blocks and putting those away too. My nearly 3 year old son will do about the same and then I'll do the rest. As long as he gets the concept of cleaning up and does his best, I'm not going to fight him until I feel like he's developmentally more ready.
If you say he can't find it no matter what then you might be hurting his eyes by NOT getting him checked. My 3 year old was the same way and it turned out she has astigmatism. Since she's been wearing her glasses it makes it much easier. There are still times when she does just like yours and would die if the item were a Black Mamba, but not as many.
Doesn't sound like he has a problem to me...maybe that he's just bored of your directions. :) Four year olds aren't extremely motivated to "pick up." And my six year old still will be staring right at something and not "see" it. :) I think you're okay.
I would look for a pediatric optometrist if you are concerned. The pediatric one was able to get a pretty accurate idea of my DD's sight at 1 yr but her pediatrician's office was a joke.
It may also be how his brain operates vs his brother. You say your DH has the same problem. Maybe ask HIM what helps and apply that to the child.
I also tend to start directions a few steps ahead. DH will ask me to back up. I have to rethink, "Okay, please look to your left. On the floor, by the TV is a pirate hat. Please pick up the green block right next to it and put it in the bucket by me." That may seem overly simplistic, but I used to write tech manuals. Sometimes you can't be too simple.
