Can't Eat the Food at the In-laws!

Hey MIL... what would work best for you? Should I bring something small like SIL this year, or something bigger to share? :D :D :D

Ball. Lobbed. Toes. Missed.

Ditto Adansmama word-for-word. No need to be snotty about it as some of the other Mama's seem to feel personally offended for you. Like you said, they like what they like & if you already have one SIL doing her own thing, you certainly should feel free to do the same.

With all the things people normally stress over this time of year, you should be able to cross this one off the list.

There has to be a McDonalds drive thru on the way there...... lol. Seriously, I would bring what I wanted to eat and not think twice about it. You should be able to enjoy the occasion just as much as everybody else.

here's what i think. they already accept sil bringing her own dish, and she's "choosing" to be vegetarian. the fact that you have actual allergies, to me, is an even better reason. yes, i would bring whatever you feel like eating. they don't sound like they'd be offended, to me. if they are....well....a girl's gotta eat for pete's sake.

Although it was never an issue with my ILs, my dd had food sensitivities when she was little--no eggs, dairy, citrus fruits, soy, chocolate, or msg. When the family got together, we always brought a casserole of something she really liked so she would be fed and others could share in it.

And, I'm confused. Your SIL isn't a vegetarian if she eats chicken and turkey. Maybe she eats Kosher or Halal? Or she's Hindu (they don't consider chicken as meat)? In any case, if she does it, then you shouldn't have any problems. Maybe coordinate with her to feed both of you!

I would roast a small turkey and add it to the feast for all to share :)

I think you should get together with your SIL and come up with an idea ( but a Vegetarian who eats turkey and chicken...hmmmm) I haven't read the rest of the answers but my first thought was why don't you fix a small turkey and dressing...and bring that along to share with everyone?? OR you could have the dinner at YOUR house....let Mom bring her Cheddar Cheese Potatoes and you fix turkey AND ham ( be the kind of gracious accomodating host that Mom SHOULD be!! ) and be the Hostess with the Mostest!!!! This is something that is not going to go away...you and your MIL need to have a kind, honest talk and see what you can do to help her embrace everyone's dietary needs and make everyone feel welcomed and cared for.

I like ham and just about anything else cooked and placed on a platter.

If I was going to my inlaws and I couldn't eat anything they had on the menu and you have another relative that is bringing something because she can't eat what they serve (vegan), the I'd bring something I'd like to eat.

Bring a main dish you cook real well. For me, I do a fantastic smoked turkey, but my inlaws don't like smoked meat, so they do a plain jane turkey. Bring the main dish in enough quanitity that others can have a taste of it or a serving of it. For Christmas, I'd bring a smoked turkey. I'd bring a 10 lb turkey, not the 22 lb turkey I normally do. If you like turkey, or goose or duck, or lamb, bring that. Mashed potatoes don't have eggs in them so you could do that. I could go on, but you get the idea.

ADDED: I always make my mashed potatoes from potato flakes. I use chicken broth instead of water and add fresh crushed garlic for more flavor.

Good luck to you and yours.

I'd do a small turkey or turkey breast, and a few baked potatoes, and maybe put your head together with the SIL re. a vegie side dish you can both, as well as others, can eat. That way, you're bringing what you like to eat, but enough that others could partake - more family oriented :) Good luck!

Yes if they are so thoughtless that they don't or won't make another meat dish for you bring your own. If they are insulted they can go to the closet to snivel. Really what if their DIL was a Hindu and only ate vegetarian. What an inconsiderate bunch of clods.
Do whatever you need to do so you can survive their food. I don't eat ham either so if someone so insensitive invites me they get what they get. And, when I invite them it is strictly vegan. No cheese so they'll get the lesson.

I think you should bring an casserole dish, entree course, or heavy side to share but will not overshadow your in-laws ham. It's one thing to have allergies, it's another thing to just not like ham.

I dont see anything wrong with bringing things you like to eat, especially since they already know you have all those aversions to their food. I bet if you roasted your own turkey and took it someone else would have some too.
I think you should take enough of whatever you take with you to share. That would be more polite and it would kind of make a statement to them as well... like "they should compensate if they want you there for dinner", I think that would be nice of your MIL to make sure there were other options. That's just me.

I think bringing a little meat dish for yourself would be absolutely fine. Your SIL does that and it sounds like no one has brought up any objections. I would do the same.
They are aware of your food allergies but make what they like anyway - which is fine. So you bringing food that works for you, is fine too.
I have a friend who does this. She doesn't have food allergies but is just super picky. She does not eat red meat. So she will often bring her own chicken breast if we are grilling out or whatever. It is no big deal. I never thought anything of it.
Take care of yourself! Enjoy Thanksgiving! :)

I would tell them that due to your allergies, you are going to bring a small main dish of your own. We do turkey. My MIL prefers ham so she brings one and we have both.

I'd coordinate with the vegetarian & eat the same as she does. & I really like the suggestion about bringing a turkey so all can share.

you could bring your own or maybe introduce a new dish to the party and bring a big casserole of some sort. maybe a mosticcoli w/red sauce on it. big enough for others to share it if they choose.

bring your own food.........im a vegetarian and i do that based on morals, why cant you do it based on allergies?

*********im confused, your brothers wife is vegetarian so she brings turkey or chicken? That's not a vegetarian.

You have special dietary considerations. Many people do either by allergy, diet, different eating choices, etc. By all means make your own plate ahead of time to bring along with the other sides/dessert that you bring. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't have to be a big deal, doesn't have to be an issue. You'll all be able to comfortably sit down together and have your family meal. That is the most important thing!

I am just gonna throw this out there...take it how you will.
When I went down to Mexico to visit my in-laws I ate everything. Brain, cabeza (head), cheeks (of a pig), intestines, and mole. That's just to start. I don't like mole at ALL (and in fact, don't like any of the other things either!) and we went somewhere (Fiesta de mole in Puebla) and I ate mole at 5 different houses. Why? Because it was being offered and I didn't want to be rude. Can you imagine if I said, Oh no thanks, I brought my own burger?! OMG, I would have been the talk of Puebla for years to come.
The issue for you is eggs. You don't like ham or cheese and that's fine, but you are only allergic to eggs. I think your idea of bringing an eggless side dish and dessert is just fine. I think that your sister-in-law, the vegetarian that eats meat, is a quack. Please. It's *sounds* nice that she is trying to make the host not worry about her, but in reality it's rude since she is NOT a vegetarian.
It's one day a year. Eat the side you bring, the jello and the dessert. Maybe bring some crackers in your purse that you can eat in the bathroom. Don't offend your host.
JMO
L.

Team up with sister-in-law and make dish or two. Ask your mother-in-law if she's all right with it too. Don't want to step on anyones toes, right?
I was going to say, eat something at home before you go to your in-laws, but you said it wouldn't work. Why don't you go over to your in-laws a little earlier, and help out making something of your own. I'm sure they wouldn't mind the extra help setting up and all. My brother-in-law used to do this during easter. He's not into lamb/goat or intestinal soup (sounds bad, but very good). He used to drop by my mom's and they'd cook something together. Now she's become used to his eating habits, and always prepares a chicken soup for him and whatever side dish he likes. From reading your message, they sound like good people. Give it a try.

If they know you have allergies then you are not being rude to bring your own dishes to share. I don't care for most of the foods that my in laws eat, too fattening for my taste. But they have never been rude about me making something and bringing it.
I figure as long as you are willing to share then it shouldn't be a problem.

I would just go ahead and make a separate dish that you and everyone else can try. Maybe a casserole dish? At Thanksgiving, we actually make a ham and a turkey, because most but not everyone likes turkey. Your in-laws and everyone else will most likely welcome that and most people will eat the ham anyways. Best of luck!

Absolutely not! I think taking your own food is perfectly fine especially since they are not willing to make accommodations. They like what they like and so do you. You are not putting them out by demanding that they make food for you, then they should not expect you to not enjoy the holiday and starve. Just because you are the "wife" and not part of the blood family doesn't mean that you should be excluded. I say "good for you" for taking care of you and extra kudos for caring enough to even ask this question. I think it's perfectly fine and your husband, hopefully, will support you too.

If you are extra worried, you might have your husband tell his family that you will be bringing food to eat to accommodate your picking eating and allergies. If they have a problem with that, maybe you both have a decision to make?

Good luck. My in-laws drive me crazy too!
N

not at all you have to do what make ur health okay, so go for it:) i would do the same and im sure they understand and dont have a problem with it:) good luck!!!!!happy turkey day

I'm assuming your sister will not be at your in-laws and you are talking about when she visits other people. I would bring a casserole that you like that can be filling enough to be a main course, but also pass as side dish. That way they can't complain that you are over shadowing the ham. Then you can also bring a vegetable side dish, and desert of your choosing. You will be practically bringing your own meal, but at least you will have a nice dinner too.

I couldn't help but giggle when I read your sister is a vegetarian but will bring a chicken breast. If your sister will be attending that I agree to team up with her and bring something you both enjoy.

Whenever we get together for family celebrations we all bring dishes. I don't think it's rude to bring dishes to share. A turkey breast roll, roast potatoes, eggless desserts, salads.

O yes i would bring something for urself for sure. My inlaws live in ireland and the first time i visited them for a week i about starved the food was so blah and tasteless and get this they had 3 different types of potatoes every evening!!! and it wasnt a holiday lol i told hubby that if we ever moved there i would starve. So everytime that we have visited since i packed about 5 boxes of mac and cheese ( u cant buy it there) and i would tell them that im american and have to have mac and cheese w every meal lol its a running joke now that K. the american can only have food covered with cheese lol

Hate ham! Bring what you like and some to share with others!

Since they know your situation then I dont think they would mind if you brought your own food. I hate eating by my in-laws, not because of allergies or anything but the food my MIL cook's is just awful! I know I sound bad for saying this but I love them but if it's the holidays then I want to enjoy what im eating. Plus they don't use ANY seasoning's what so ever! Yuck! Oh yeah! One year we ate over by my in laws and was eating some type of rice she made and insisted that I taste it, well the ending result was I broke the back tooth- or shall I say "chipped it" badly! Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful Holiday season! Good luck!

I think they are being rude for knowing what you can and can't eat and not really making an effort to FEED you. So go ahead and bring what you can eat, its not rude at all. Maybe they will get the hint and cook a turkey also or something else. Why can't they make normal mashed potatoes and gravy? I understand having family "favorites" but make some generic things too that others can eat and enjoy. I hope it works out for you!!!

I bring most of my own food to my in-laws Thanksgiving. I have a gluten and egg allergy and I would rather just bring my own food and not have to worry about whether or not I am eating cross-contaminated food or something with my allergens in it. My MIL makes the turkey I can eat and puts the gravy on the side but I bring my own dressing and casseroles and dessert. I do make dessert to share.

If they tell you what not to eat they are being considerate and based on that I doubt that they want you to starve and would not be offended if you brought something that you could eat.

I think it would be just fine...

(I dunno if anyone else pointed it out, and I am not doing it to be mean either, but a vegetarian would not eat a turkey burger or a chicken breast. Maybe she has a veggie burger or she just doesn't like ham?)

I have a child with food allergies so I feel your pain. I've actually got to the point to where I try to do most the entertaining at my own house so I can control the main part of the meal and some sides for my sons sake. Then I ask guests to bring smaller things so they still have their own "comfort" food items.

However, when it's inevitable (like when we fly to another state to visit friends/relatives) I basically tell the host that due to food allergies, we'll have to bring our own food. Then, I hit the nearest Whole Foods or similar and get my family their own meal. I refuse to make my own young son feel completely left out so if he sees his immediate family eating the same as him it calms me down and him. I've never had anyone act annoyed or feel like we were offending them and their cooking etc... everyone in my circle have always been more than understanding and the evening goes on with lots of smiles and laughter.

Whaaaa? No turkey on Thanksgiving? There's your solution, bring a turkey roast (boneless, make it simple) to share. And bring whatever else you would like to eat as small sides. If I were having Thanksgiving, I would absolutely not be offended if a family member needed or wanted to do this due to dietary constraints.