Cheating Husband - Irving,TX

I'm so sorry :( Court and kids aside, how are YOU holding up??

Don't feel stupid... one of my best friends just found out her husband has been cheating on her since she was preggers with their twins... and the twins are almost 4!!

If you have the option, I'd go through DCSE for support... unlike court, they can take it directly out of his paycheck; he doesn't have the option to say 'oh, it's in the mail'... nope, they take what is deserved, and collect on back payments (those 5 months).

I've been through this twice, PM me if you need someone :)

K P,
I'm sorry you're going through this.

Take this advice: Get an attorney. Don't worry, he'll likely have to pony up part of that expense.
Go through the courts to get support. Don't rely on his "good will"--as you can see, he hasn't had much of that for the last 5 months. In the long run, it's better for you (you get your money on time, ALL the time) and him (he has proof that he paid, so you can't claim otherwise).

Keep in mind that all things happen for a reason at the right time. Maybe 11 months ago you couldn't have handled the fact that he was cheating, but now you can.

The important thing is to look out for the well-being of your kids. Emotional and financial. Get the support ordered right away.

Good luck!

I know a lawyer in Dallas. I have not personally used her but I think she is good. If you would like her name privately message me and I will send you info. My sister was divorced many years ago in Texas. Getting child support isn't easy.

I would suggest you gather any proof you have of his cheating while you were married. Get proof of all your assets before he starts hiding your money. Get a lawyer quickly who will guide you.

If he is not fighting you on the divorce then get an attorney. They aren't that expensive unless you are in a huge fight. They also make sure everything is prepared and filed properly.

Think about it this way, you may save $1,000 now by filing yourself but then turn around and pay $10,000 next year because it wasn't filed correctly and his new whatever wants him to save money by not giving you as much support or whatever else he wants to drag you into court for.

Get an attorney! Don't do this on your own. Especially with kids. This is not the time to "save money". You need to protect you and the kids. An attorney can help navigate the tricky minefield of divorce.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hugs to you and your kids!

Get a lawyer and be sure to get the 5 months of support that he has not sent to you. What an a$$hole! If he hasn't sent you money, you need a lawyer to draw up papers in case he decides to not ever send you anything.

Good luck.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I know you say he will agree to everything but please get a lawyer.
It will be worth it for you and your kids.
You never know how people can quickly change when they feel their
back is against a wall.
You should go see a lawyer now as most will give you a free 30 mins
consultation.
Save all the money you can right now.
Gather any paperwork or make copies of paperwork to have proof of
anything you own separately or together: bank statements, deed to a house, car registrations, taxes etc.
This is to cover and protect yourself.
Don't make any rash decisions right now.
Again, go see the lawyer. If nothing else for the free consultation to know
your rights, get good advice in what you can expect to receive etc.

First of all...big hugs :( I am so sorry. It sounds like you are doing the right thing and have a level head about all this. Please don't try to file your own paperwork. If the divorce is uncontested and you can agree to have 1 lawyer (YOURS), it shouldn't be that expensive (and you can make him pay for it!). You don't want to have something not drawn up correctly that can bite you in the butt later. Ask around for referrals...maybe someone on here can recommend someone in your area? I'm so sorry for your pain. Best wishes!

The investment you make now in a lawyer now, up front, will save you much grief and money in the future. Getting a lawyer will protect you and your kids. I know you feel stuck now, but you really need to find a way to get legal assistence. So sorry you are dealing with such an idiot. Be the bigger person, and show him you can take care of business. Otherwise, you will be at his mercy in the future too. (He does not want you to get a lawyer, trust me).

Get a lawyer and you make sure your kids as well as yourself are taken care of! Hugs to you mama!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have seen and heard of many divorces. The advice I would give you is this:

While you can do some things yourself, you will be best served getting an attorney. What may seem and start as a simple divorce soon becomes something that is not so simple. Even when there is little to nothing acquired during the marriage sometimes one spouse will deny the other the very air they breathe while going through the divorce process.

Don't be deceived any longer about how ugly divorce can be. Prepare for the worse while hoping for the best. My husband divorced in 2004, walked away with only the clothes on his back. She got the kid, the house, a portion of his 401K and everything else in the house. Seems simple right but it was still a messy divorce. Lawyer's were required.

Another girlfriend filed for divorce, tried doing it through a mediator but he wanted alimony and for her to continue to pay for the house. She ended up getting an attorney just to move the process forward.

Try not to dwell on the other woman and put yourself down. Concentrate on envisioning life after him for yourself and your children. It is fine to also include in that vision a future with a husband that will be faithful and loving to you and your children. The other woman doesn't matter, you do.

No matter how angry or hurt you may be with this man, he is the father of your children and because they get part of their identity with you, you must treat him with dignity and respect and require the same from him. Don't allow your children to be pawns of divorce. Be well and encourage yourselff through this process.

Dear K P,

If there is something you should have learned by now, it is that you cannot trust your husband. I have been in your shoes. You do not want to this by yourself. Get a good attorney and ensure all the Ts are crossed and Is dotted. There are many things you won't think about because you have never done this before, gone to law school, etc. There are many things that if you do not do right the first time, are going to cause a lot of grief, and extra money. For starters, you should have Temporary Orders in place until your divorce is final so he is paying you Child Support, maybe even Alimony. In Texas, when adultery is the cause of the Divorce a lot of the times the wronged spouse is entitled to a larger that 50% of the community assets. He needs to have restrictions as to what he can do around your kids, (like not have his girlfriemd spend the night at his place when he is with them) and many many other things. The only way you can save money and stress is to get a good attorney. Best wishes and God bless!!

PS Call the Haugen Law Firm and ask to talk to John and set up a consult so you can be throughy informed before you make your final decisions at ###-###-####, you can also check out their website at www.HaugenFamilyLaw.com. He is a great lawyer and family man, and has been though Divorce himself.

What a pig. I don't have any advice, just support to offer you. Even if you were the worst, most horrible wife in the world (and you definitely don't sound like you were!), I never understand an affair. When you're married, you're married. If you want out, get out and then find someone else to love. I'm so sorry you are going through what you are. He clearly has issues... I hope things go well and in your favor. (((hugs)))

If divorce is amicable, call this attorney. They will draw up your divorce decree and represent you for less than $500 total. http://www.altmanandmarx.com/

I know everyone is saying you need a lawyer, but you don't. I did the entire divorce myself too. I was in the same situation, he was cheating and I was done, so was he, so we agreed on custody, child support and visitation and I did all the paperwork and he signed it all and it was DONE. So you can do it and its simple. I went thru a place called "The Divorce Store" where they help you with all the paperwork and file it with the courts. They also call in your ex and go over everything with him as well. I think the whole thing cost me $700ish and was worth it. I googled "divorce in my city" and that's how I found them. You can also get the forms thru your county courthouse and follow the instructions on them. Good luck!

I am not sure about your state, but here in AK they make it very easy, and I would think TX would have something similar. On the state website there should be paper work you can down load for "dissolution of marriage", if you are unsure of the site, just call your local court house information number. The paper work should include a worksheet for figuring out child support. Once it is all filled out you both sign it and file it at the court house with a fee ($150 here). After that a judge will review it to be sure it is fair to both sides. If it is, he will sign it and that is it. If he does not think it is fair he will order mediation to iron out the issues. This method can only be used if you are agreeing on things, which it seems you are. It is fast (can be completely done/divorced in as little as 60 days) and is cheap.

Best of luck to you and Blessed Be.