Child Support Issue

Seems like he is the one who was vindictive. My guess is that he knew first hand he was not paying near enough and it's his responsibility to report any change in his income for adjustments. If he had lost his job, i would guess he would of called to report that in order to adjust the amount? Same is true if he had an increase in pay. I would have him pay back the full amount and offer that to your son for college.
I finally took my ex to court and was told he owed me over $14,000. Like you I felt really bad for him and chose to only make him pay half and only $500 in medical. Mind you his dad has never helped me with anything and left me with tons of debt and no car. Now his dad will call and either curse me out for making him pay anything or laugh at me for taking less money, telling me I was stupid. I should of taken the full amount. Honestly it was my son's money and he should of gotten that money. I truly regret not taking the full amount and once you say no, you lose the money for good.

This is what I did when I divorced my husband. The true calculation came out to $1100 per month for him. He freaked out, of course. So being that I didn't want anything to do with him, I figured I would be super mom and raise my kids and do everything for them, I made the numbers work out to him only having to pay $144 per month and thats how I filed it. Well, he never paid me one penny, nor did he bother to see the kids much. So after 8 months of that I filed the papers to take him to court. We sat down with a mediator and my ex not only agreed to pay me $800 per month, but also agreed to pay me back the $5,000 that he really owed me from the prior year. so now $400 comes out automatically from each of his paychecks and are direct depositied into my account. and he agreed to take the kids every other weekend so I could have a break and a life like he was soooo enjoying. The bottom line is that he needs to support his son, whatever the cost is and he needs to sacrifice to do so. It doesn't matter that he has a new family, he still has to take care of his son. So yes, I would go back the 10 years that he owes because the fact is, if he was not paying for care for his son, someone (YOU!) was and that money is owed. Just my opinion but I hope this helps. Good luck!!!

Is his new wife working? If she is, you don't need to worry about him losing the house. Even if she's not, he should have been supporting his son all these years. Your son has a right to be cared for and supported. You shouldnt' have to try to do that all yourself. You need that money. I would go for the $800 and go retroactive. I think that would be fair.

Dear M.,
I'm in California so things may be different there.
I'm not sure you can go retroactive unless you actually filed for a modification of some kind and court papers were put into effect. At least started.
My ex only pays $70 per month even though he lives extremely well, far better than I do. He has an attorney and knows how to lie and hide money.
He earned so much that my initial support order was for $3500 per month. For one child. Now he pays $70. My income was cut in half when I had to go on disability due to an injury and I LOST support even though he owns properties and boats and vehicles and "vacations" all the time.
Men, ALL men, whether they have new families or not, should have to pay child support.
You're not being vindictive by asking for getting support based on his income and assets. In my opinion.

I hope you get some great advice, not just here, but from your attorney as well.

You should go for whatever the court says he should pay. And if there is a rectroactive amount have it paid to you. It doesn't have to be added to make a bigger payment but can be done so that he just pays longer. My daughters father had to pay $750 a month from the time she was 16 thru 18 but on top of that he had to pay $750 a month for the time that he messed around with ordering bloodwork, skipping court, going with different lawyers etc. so he paid for a year longer. In illinois you can only go retroactive for the first 7 years after that you can get it from the date paperwork is started. good luck

You should be getting what your owed. He is the father of your son, time to step up and pay! You and your son are entitled to this money so your son does not have to go without. I am sure his new family does not go without. Why should you. Tell him to get a second job and man up.

So, you are saying you and he had a court ordered child support agreement that he paid in good faith and you just never got reviewed to get it raised? Are you saying the judge raised his support ot $950 monthly and subtracted the $200 and that made it $750? Or the amount it is raised to is $750 and the $200 isn't counting at all? I would agree the $550 is the amount he legally owes if it is to be paid retroactivley. Plus if the judge takes the amount into consideration and charges back/late fees etc...it sounds so confusing and I understand why you want a peaceful resolution.

Then it seems to me that he has the right to be annoyed. If you wanted more child support why didn't you ask for it until 2 years ago. I think that from that time forward he should have the full higher rate but not previous to that point. He was following the court order, now there is a new one.

$750 owed - $200 paid multiplied by 14 years is nearly $100,000.00, no one is able to pay that without losing everything. Plus his wife should own half of everything and she doesn't owe anything.

Child support is for the things you listed above. He should have done more, of course, but he didn't. We are fortunate that one of my grandkids dad's gives his child $50 every birthday and again at Christmas. The plan is that when she is older the gift will be a bit larger. We let her take the card to Walmart and pick out some of it herself. Part of it we buy something she has been wanting, wrap it up and she opens it on Christmas, I put the card on it from her dad to her. That way she doesn't know he just sent the card and nothing else. I know she will realize later that he doesn't care but I want her to believe for as long as possible. Her dad has never missed a child support payment and the Child Support Enforcement does a regular pay raise every year. The other dad doesn't even see his son and he lives in the same town and only pays the minimum wage support. It's helpful but not much.

I think you have a hard decision here, talk to your attorney about a resolution. You can unite with your ex and tell the court you have reached a joint decision, one that both of you agree on. Any extra money you get is a bonus. Hopefully he can pay at least half of what you are owed and you can go on from here.

My ex is raising on of our grandkids and he asked talked to the dad about a cost of living increase and they decided on an amount, my ex filed the papers and then the judge decided to not accept it and raised it nearly double the amount my ex asked for. My ex told the judge that his amount was unacceptible, that they didn't want or need that much, the judge refused to put the amount to what he and the dad had decided on. My ex finally told the judge to go ahead and he would just write a check and return the amount extra to the dad because it wasn't what he wanted. The judge finally agreed. BTW, my ex and his wife are older and both have high paying jobs and REALLY didn't need the higher amount at all.

I feel really bad for you, and a little bit for your ex, it is a hard decision you have to make and you seem nice since you care about the whole picture, not just yourself. I hope you can find a peaceful resolution to your issue very soon.

I believe you should get what the court thinks is owed. Sure he may have to change his lifestyle to accomidate that, but it isn't fair for your son to do without. Sometimes we pitty our exs but you need to think about your son. Put some of the money away for college also. Your son shouldn't have to do without just because his father has a new family.

Why in the world did you only have it re-evaluated two years ago. Could it be that you were being vendictive towards him?? Make it up to your son regarding Christmas, birthdays and school supplies.....he is your son. Do your other children suffer??