Child Support Stress

your courthouse should have a legal library where you can tell them what you are looking for and they can point you to the books where you can make copies. you should just need a Motion of Contempt and an Order of Contempt. Find out from the Family Law or Child Support Dept how much it costs to file. If you don't have the money, than you should be able to file for indigency along with filing the motion. if you provide the judge with the Order along with the Motion, they might just go ahead and sign it without having a hearing. Also you can file an Ammendment to Final Judgement of Dissolution of marriage that has in there that your ex MUST tell you where your children are (if your papers don't already have that in there) I would double check your original papers.

Filing for contempt is easy, and the child support agency in your state should file on your behalf for you anyway as that is their job. They'll dissuade you from doing so, but you can if they won't. You can go to the courthouse and ask the clerk for help or go on-line. The form you are looking for is called a Complaint for Contempt. You will probably have to file other papers as well (a request for a hearing date - called a request for assignment, affidavit disclosing care and custody proceedings of a minor, and a request for service - these may vary from state to state). Your child support agency should be able to serve him for you at no or minimal cost to you if you can provide them an address or if they have a good address on file. When you file the complaint and get the hearing date, he will have to be served with this information either in-hand or via mail at an address that has been verified to be his. He will have X number of days to file an answer to the complaint and/or can answer the complaint at the hearing. If he doesn't answer the complaint and/or doesn't show up, the judge can issue a warrant for his arrest or enforce other measures. In my case, my child's birth father lives out of state. He did what your ex did for a while but really disappeared about 10 years ago. I did get the contempt ruling and a warrant, so if he ever comes back to the state I can have him arrested, but I still don't get child support. He owes almost $30K. It took some time and aggravation to get this done, but I did it without an attorney and it didn't cost me anything other than a vacation day from work to go to the hearing.

I would contact a local domestic violence shelter or hotline in your area. Many shelters get involved in child support issues because withholding support is a part of the domestic violence cycle. They can often refer you to an attorney who will work pro bono or a reduced fee.
Contact your local national senator or congressman's office and ask for an intervention with the IRS. The IRS can do a 'lifestyle audit' on him. Basically that is a audit of how he lives. If he claims $20,000 in annual income but lives like a person earning $40,000 -- they will ask were the extra money came from. You should be able to get a garnishment on his tax refund.
Since laws differ in many states it's difficult to advise you. Here in Wisconsin all child support is taken directly from they paychecks before they see the money.
You can also check to see if you can get a lein on his house - car anything he has of value. Even though he is married he should 'own' half of everything even if it is only in his wife's name. I would also see if you can get a garnishment on his wife's wages. (Can you imagine that blow-up)
You can also contact the National Women's Law Center in Washington DC. They advocate for women and children.
I also know in Wisconsin if you apply for food stamps or medical assistance Social Services gets involved in your child support case. They push the child support agency to get going on child support issues because if you are getting your child support you may not need the food stamps or MA.
If you know what city he is living in the property tax documents are public record, you can search property tax records to find out where he lives.
I would not allow my ex to take my kids unless I knew where they were going and with whom. However don't withhold the kids unless you have a court order to do so or you could be held in contempt of court.
Documentation is your best ally. When you purchase things for your kids ask the cashier to ring up the stuff for your kids on a separate receit. Keep a notebook and envelopes with the receits to document all expenses from shoes to school supplies to groceries to movies and child care. When you go to court you can take all of your documentation with you and show the judge how much you are spending on yor kids.

Support and visitation/custody are two completely separate issues. However, he is already in contempt of the order by not informing you and the state about changes in address or employment. I would not be releasing my child to him without a verifiable address and contact information.

You should still take the time to consult an attorney. If it goes to court, he could be held responsible for the cost. Many attorneys will take the case on contingency.

However, I am sure that the Attorney General website in your state has a wealth of information. It just isn't that hard to file paperworrk.

That all being said, if you can make it without it, I wouldn't make yourself crazy trying to get it. Once I realized this, everything just became easier and I manage OK whether he decides to pay or not.

If you don't need the money then don't worry about it. I would then let each daughter go after him once they turn 18 for the back support owed. This would give them a nice amount of money to help pay for college and maybe even allow them to get a degree debt free which is unheard of these days.

I'd spend the money on a lawyer to have the new wife included on paying back and current child support. That would REALLY nip his being a dead beat in the bud!!

I'm in the same boat but have decided not to "stress" about it. My ex is a loser and unfortunately our kids are getting older now and can see that for themselves. In AZ, the child support comes out automatically from his paycheck and is sent to the clearinghouse who then tracks it and deposits it into my bank account. That is WHEN he's working. He works about 6 months then gets laid off. So I get about 2 months of child support and then it stops agian. I'm lucky that my hubby and I take care of the kids whether I get support from my ex or not. My kids are not suffering. In fact, just last night my husband said, you know, he's going to be paying this until the kids are 40! Yes, he is. But just so you know, you don't need an attorney to take him to court. Go to your county courthouse and ask for the correct packet to file (usually about $12). Then there may be a fee to file (ours is about $80) and that's it. And stop moving to be closer to him. Why are you doing that? He can live half way around the world and still pay you child support. I know its hard when you have to do everything yourself but you know us women can handle a lot. Good luck to you!!!

You have already received some great advice from the momma's here. I know it is not easy raising children on your own but don't let this child support thing stress you out. What are some of the things you can do to obtain added income? If you are great with kids and enjoy children you could always have some kind of off hours child care situation from your home. Or if you love arts and crafts you could start a low fee class for kids your kids ages. For x dollars you meet with the chldren at your home, church, park when the weather gets nice, library (they may charge a small fee for a meeting room) or some other place like that where you have the kids work on some arts are crafts projects. It could bring you some extra funds and be great fun for you and the kids.

On a more serious note, I would never allow my kids to visit with their dad especially if I didn't know where they would be. He has a legal obligation to let you know. If he doesn't like what you are doing with the visitation, then let him take you to court. He is not going to do that because of the child support issue. When my son was 3 his grandparents had visitation rights, they took him to the airport (this was way before 9-11) so I serously freaked out and asked them not to take him to the airport. They got offended. The next few times for their visitation I just wouldn't let me son go until I got their word they would not take him there again. It got real ugly but I had to do what I felt like I had to do. Fast forward 13 years later he has a beautiful relationship with them and I still hold my ground on some things but they also know I only want the best for my son and that I'm a good mother to him.