My neighbor's daughter is 10 years old and in the last week and a half she has this huge fear of dying. She crys about this all the time. The parents don't know what to say and either do I so I'm turning to you all for help. Are there any great books, great websites to visit for this. Thanks in Advance!
Thanks Everyone for your responses. She was afraid when all the celebrities were dying. They have talked to her and she is afraid of her parents dying and such. They have talked several nights and I think she is doing much better with not crying as often and sleeping throught the night again. Thanks again for all the advice!!
It's an adult book, but it might help-- it's called "90 minutes in Heaven", a true story about a Baptist minister who is pronounced dead at the scene of a car wreck, only to come back to life 90 minutes later. It might help her to read about his take on dying and heaven. It certainly helped my aunt when she lost her son from cancer. My mom bought it for my entire family. It may give her a new perspective on things.
Good luck!
If you have a belief in God then you explain that and tell them there is nothing to worry about. God will take care of us. Even if things go wrong sometimes - God is in control. He loves us and has a great plan for our life. We don't have to worry.
If you don't believe in God. Then I cannot even imagine how you would comfort them.
Praying for the sweet girl,
L.
I feel that when someone is afraid of dieing and death, it is usually because they don't understand it. The questions of "where am I going" and "why am I here" are hard questions that we all have to come to grips with eventually in our lives. Sounds like this girl is trying to figure out life. I can recommend www.mormon.org as an great place to find some answers.
Hi! I know how scary this can be for children and adults too sometimes. I don't want to push anything. But are her parents Christians? If she knew that there was a God and Heaven, it might make it a little easier. Please send me a message if you have any questions. Like I said I'm not trying to be pushy. I just work with a lot of kids at church and it sounds like a matter of salvation. Let me know if I can help in any way:)!
May i suggest the book called " your child is afraid" by Dr. Robert Schachter. God bless.
Well, hopefully this helps... I am now about to be 24 years old (and a mommy!) but when I was 17 or 18 I started doing the same thing as your neighbor's daughter. I would also say that my fear was the world coming to an end. It was definitely a separation anxiety I was dealing with. I later developed anxiety, but the point I'm saying is that I was afraid to be alone, what if I died when no one was there, in a car wreck, etc. Well after speaking to a doctor we realized it was this anxiety. I was going away to college and wouldn't be near my family which I had ALWAYS been. The only thing that helped was comfort from my Mom. She is probably crying out for TLC. I'm not saying she's not getting that, but the body has a weird way of telling someone things. I would definitely recommend some quality cuddle time. Now, if she's like my younger sister, she probably won't let anyone touch her! :) But that is just my advice based on what I went through. I sure hope that helps.
get her involved in happy, helpful activities....Scouts, 4H, volunteering anywhere! What about a pet? Does she get to hang with friends? Is she sitting at home for the summer, with no fun in her life? Has she watched too many movies/tv?
Does the family attend church? What about having her speak with her pastor or with a counselor?
& my very first question should have been: are there any changes or stress going on in the family? First step in healing would be determining the source....what brought this on? Get her talking & find out what's up?
Hi K., how thoughtful of you to try to help your neighbor with her daughter. I've read some of the responses, and they are good. Bur like one of the writers did say, have they talked with their daughter to find out why she feels this way. I think that would the 1st thing to do and go from there. She's so young, why would she even be thinking about this unless something happened, she saw a movie, or did someone die that was possibly close to her. Good luck and prayers to you all...
Have they asked her why she is afraid? Maybe she's had a dream, or seen something on TV. Some kids have irrational fears. They need to talk to her and ask her what she is afraid of and work thru it.
My son became very afraid after my grandmothers passed away within a week of each other. We finally had a long talk with him about death and what it meant, and what we believe which is life after death in Heaven. It helped him.
Each kid is different. But see if you can drag it out of her in a safe enviornment. You might even use dolls to see if she will act out what her fears are.
