Circumcision Debate

Unfortunately he is wrong, there are concrete facts about circumcision being the better way to go for males. Uncircumsized males find a higher rate of infections in the area. So many boys who have not had this done as babies have become in their older ages self mutilating to themselves because they don't like being different. It's so much more healthier and cleaner for a boy to have this done. Save him the pain of most likely getting it done when he is older and has the choice for himself.

We've two boys, both of which are NOT circusized, even though my husband is and all the boys in my family are.

In the end, the surgery is elective. Do a lot of research and take notice of who is publishing the articles. Here's a link to some stats that the CDC published and the Amercian Academy of Family Pediatrics.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/pubs/pubd/hestats/circum...
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/men/reproduc...

Good Luck with your decision.

I haven't read anyones responses so forgive me if I repeat, but I side with the boyfriend but only somewhat for the same resons, I have 4 boys and a husband who are not circumsized, even had my husband been circumsized I would still have not done it, your boyfriend's point about not doing it to girls is how I feel, we look at countries where female cirumsionn is looked down on as cruel but have no problem doing it to our own boys in this country, why? What is the difference, we know that cleanliness isn't really a concern because time has shown that not to be true, I have never had one problem with my boys, and I don't care how it looks, when he is a grown man a woman will love him because of who he is not whether or not he is circumsized and in todays world more and more people are choosing not to do it so any girl who is going to only be looking for a man with a circumsion is going to have a harder time finding him! Yes people still do it for religious reasons and I am of jewish background (although I don't practice it) and my grandma felt it shoud be done not just cause of religion but cleanliness, when my oldest was 3 she was glad i hadn't done it she had been seeing more research that said it was no longer necassary but a personal choice, and I agree, so no matter how many responces you get you need to be ok with whatever choice you make, but your boyfriend sounds very sure of his personal choices and his sounds like he doesn't want his son to have anymore pain then is needed! Good luck on your choice!

My husband and I had this very discussion when I was pregnant. We did tons of research and there is NO medical reason for circumsition. We also asked advice from peditricians from the metro Dallas area where we lived and they said that it is about 60% getting circumsized and 40% not and they guessed that it would soon be fifty/fifty (that was 10 years ago). We decided that if we had a boy that we would NOT circumsize. As for the looks aspects, if he/she had a big nose/ ears etc would you have plastic surgery right then? We currently have several friends whose kids are not circumsized, yes it is a little easier to clean if it is circumzied but not a huge ordeal.
Hope this helps,
Tam

We chose to circumcize so our son would look like his father. But in all honesty, I left the decision up to my husband (but I let him know that my choice was to circumcize).

I have friends that didn't circumcize their twin boys because they thought it was cruel (the father is also not circumcized) and she thought we were "crazy."

My step-dad was not circumcized and finally had it done when he was in his late 40's because he was having issues with infections and such. And he recommended we do it when our son was a baby instead of letting him choose later in life if he wanted it or not.

I don't regret our decision, but I totally understand that for some people, it's just not something they want to do. The AAP doesn't have a recommendation or guideline for it - they, too, see it as a personal choice. It's definitely not medically necessary. You'll just have to weigh the pros and cons with the baby's father and go from there. No one can make this decision for you.

I personally followed my husband's lead on this subject. He wanted our son circumsised so we did it...if he hadn't we wouldn't have.

I think doing it so your child will "fit in" is compleatly and totally wrong. At the rate this nation is going I don't think by the time our kids are old enough to shower with their peers it will be such an issue as we think it will be (ie I don't think every boy will be circumsised). I work in a nursery and I see many little boys who aren't circumsised (during diaper changes). I think this will go for the intimacy issue with women too. Besides...we are supposed to be teaching our children that it is OK if they don't fit in...that it is OK to be different and we start them off in life by putting them into this little box because we are afraid they won't fit in!

As for cleanlieness...if your boyfriend is willing to teach your child how to take care of himself I don't think it will be an issue. It is just like everything else...if you are brought up knowing how to take care of it then it isn't a problem.

The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recomend or condemn circumcision anymore. They believe it is a personal choice and there is no proven benefit to having it done.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was unsure if I wanted to circumsize him. It seems so trendy now not to. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed to. Not only can a boy end up with multiple infections because it is hard to clean, but he would look different from his father, cousins, and other boys around him. This can become a source for low esteem and teasing, especially if other kids dont understand that they looked like that at one point too. You didnt mention if your boyfriend was circumsized himself. If he is not, then maybe he doesnt want his son to be different from him. If he is, I would try to find out if he doesnt want it because he is afraid of hurting such a sensitive area on his son (men can be funny about that). Ultimatly you need to decide what is best for your son physically and psycologically. For my son, it was best to circumsize.

Let me just start by saying I am with you. First of all, I have a nefhew that was adopted because my sister could not take care of him. She choose not to circumsize him for the fact she could not afford it. Now, I feel very strongly that this should be done at the time of birth. A couple reasons. My nephew had some infections over and over because it was very hard to clean it. Also, when boys are in any kind of sport they usually shower together. Even if they do not anymore, when they are older it will be embarrassing when they have not been circumsized. For a woman it is a cleanliness issue as well. I am not sure what I would do if I was dating someone who did not have it done.

My nephew did not have it done until he was 2 years old and wow what pain he went thru. It is much worse the older they get. Did your boyfriend have it done? I am sure.... If he thinks it is because he thinks it will be painful, then he is being selfish! He needs to understand that it is both of your choices, and needs to understand your side as well. Hope that helps. If I have a little boy, he will be circumsized. :)

Good Luck!

We chose to circumsize our son but it was really a choice i allowed my husband to make. he felt it was right for his son.i did not believe it would cause my son terrible harm, so ilet my hubby have his way.i think dads have strong feelings on certain things and when it comes to their sons, some times it can be good to let them make a choice or two. moms get to do so much of the deciding for their kids, if BF is that interested and cares that much i say that is the sign of someone who will be a great dad. from what i have read there really are no cleanliness issues with not doing it. so maybe let your BF take the lead on this one, fi your son wants to be circumsized later i suppose he could be but you can't but the skin back in once it is off! gl, and congrats on the new bundle on the way!

Well here is what i have to say. I dated a guy who was not circumsized and it wasn't a big deal at all. But i do remember him being really uncomfortable the first time we had sex because he didn't know how i would feel about it. Also his younger brother was not circumsized either but got an infection when he was like 5 and then had to be circumsized. I guess it was really painful and took longer to heel and was a hard to take care of while it was healing because of his age. So I would get it done if i were you. Maybe you should let your boyfriend talk to the doc and see if he can make him feel better about it.

I have 3 boys and all are cut, I wouldn't have it any other way even now. I didn't do it because it was the norm I did it because I felt it was the right thing. My husband wasn't cut till he was 6 and he remembers the pain of it, he had to get cut because he got a bad infection. So when our youngest was born and I was thinking of not doing it he put his foot down and said it will be done. I have had a few girlfriends who didnt get their boys cut and later ie 7-8 years old had to have it done and they hated seeing their boys in so much pain.
I also believe it is a hygiene issue that if not properly cared for can cause alot of pain in the end. Granted it looks nicer but in all reality its just cleaner in my opinion.
Ultimately it's your choice and as long as you feel comfortable making it then thats truly all that matters...
Good Luck

It is true, as you now know that this is a completely elective and unneccesary procedure. However there are also social implications in this culture. Since you and the father cannot agree I would suggest making a consultation appointment with a pediatrician. Get all of the facts about the procedure itself, the pros and cons of life down the road etc. At least then you will both hear a professional opinion and can hopefully feel good about whatever decision you make. I did this when I was about 5 months pregnant and it was very helpful.

WHen my son was born, we had decided to have him circumcized because it was important to my husband to have a son who looked like him. Also, in Montana, more kids are than aren't, so I thought it would be easier for him in the locker room later on. However, once he was born, I REALLY had a hard time looking at this tiny, perfect baby, and telling the doctor to cut part of him off! We went ahead with it, because my husband was adamant, but until my son was about 12 months old, we had problems with the skin trying to re-adhere, and we even had to have the doctor (2 different times!) pull the skin back off where it had tried to re-attach! It hurt my son, and he screamed, and still HATES having his diaper changed because of it. SO, all this said, in retrospect, knowing what a problem it has been, I would NOT have done it. But that is just me. I don't know how common the skin re-attaching problem is. I do think it is easier to keep clean when circumcized, and I have heard that there are less rates of STDs in circumcized men. But I think in many other countries, they don't circumcize their sons, and I don't think it is a problem. Good luck with your decision.

I know a bit about both sides of the issue. I had my oldest son done at birth and my step son didn't. After countless problems with cleanliness I finally had it done at age two. There is no information out there to prove it best either way. There is two side, being cleaner or being more sensitive while having sex. Have men ever needed to enjoy sex more??? I personally can't stand the idea of not having it done and even more so since my step son went through the mess he did until we had it done. I would pick a side and go with it from birth. If you decide to not and then later change your mind I will tell you it is a much bigger issue as they get older but it isn't a nightmare at all.

For us we chose to circumcise our son as my husband is. I didn't want my son to grow up and wonder if he saw daddy's why his looked different. For our neighbor, the husband grew up in England and it was the norm there so he was not. So when their son was born 6 weeks after ours they chose to not circumcise him. Is your boyfriend circumcised?
Hope that helps and good luck!

I think it is ultimately up to you, but you need to figure out how your son will feel if all the boys are different in gym class and if your boyfriend looks different. It can cause infections easier, cleanliness is an issue too. If you do it at birth it isn't mutilation. Is getting tonsils out mutilation? No, it is a medical procedure that is done for a number of reasons. Ask your Pediatrician to list the pros and cons for you. I know you should promote that all kids are different and not worry about how it would effect him socially but at the same time if it is done now it is not a big deal for them and can be major down the road.

My ex cringed at the idea, only because men are kind of sensitive to their privates and couldn't be there when it was done. It took a second, done and over with.
It is up to you both, but think also down the road how your son would think of your choices too.

I know you have had a lot of responses to this question, but I felt compelled to respond. I am from England where circumcision has not been done routinely for years. It has been done for religious reasons or recurrent infections, although the jury is still out on that if it makes any difference. Here in the U.S. it is still a cultural issue. To look like "daddy" is the big question. As more and more boys are not getting circumcised then there should not be an issue in the showers, I know from speaking with my husband that you need to give men more credit, they actually do speak about personal issues and compare notes, for most men it is not an issue being different. It is more an issue of being mutilated, we are all offended when we read about female circumcision in parts of Africa, is it not the same thing you are doing to your son. The research shows no benefit for or against circumcision. I had a son last year and the thought of circumcising him turned my stomach.
In the end it comes down to choice but is it not time to start a trend and be different or are we too afraid to change and think for ourselves.

Hi Andrea

We opted not to have our son circumsized, and he is almost 18. He has had no problems whatsoever. I think that circumcision or none is ok with God.

Blessings,
C.

We decided not to circumsize because we could not find a compelling reason to do so. Perhaps in another country, there would be good enough reason, but here in the U.S. it is not necessary. As for cleanliness, puh-leese! That would have to be the cleanest part on a man's body. =) It's the same as teaching them to brush their teeth or clean their room - teaching them to be a clean person in general. As for looking like dad, brother, cousins, etc. I don't think they are all going to be spending all that much naked time together and I believe it's a good opportunity to teach your child that not everyone looks the same. From what I have learned, it's about 50/50 now as to whether or not a boy in America is circumsized. Some cultures here routinely circumsize, others do not. A few of my friends as well as my doctor did not circumsize their boys. I have a coworker who had two boys and did not circumsize either one. Both boys are now young adults and one is fine with it, the other went in to get circumsized. My take on it is leave it there and let him decide later if he wants it or not. I know if he decides to circumsize later it will be painful and he will remember it, but once it's gone, it isn't as easy to go back.