Hi W.~ I know what you are going through. I was 20wks pregnant when I found out that our baby had a bilateral cleft lip/palate. He is now 5months. He just had his first surgery on Sept 6th. He did great! He had he's lip repaired, nose, soft palate and tubes put into his ears. When he is 10months he will have his hard palate done.
When I found out I was in shock my husband was out to sea and I was home with a 19month old and no family. What I did I just got on the net and got as much information as I could. So when I went to all the coming dr's appt I would have the questions to ask.
I didn't have a normal pregnancy (NOT do to the cleft) and at 36 weeks I had an emergency C/S. I was planning on having a C/S, but he wanted to come early. Anyways as far as his cleft goes when he was born treatment was the same. He did have to be feed with a special bottle(nipple) and still is. I have not been able to get him to latch on so I pump and give him brestmilk. Sometimes with cleft babies it does take them longer to gain weight so just be prepared for that.
One thing that I want to tell you is, that you still have 20 wonderful weeks of being pregnant. Enjoy that baby growing inside of you. Nothing can be done about his cleft until he is born so enjoy your pregnancy. I wish someone would have given me that advise. My pregnancy went by to fast and to cought up in all the Dr appt. Enjoy that little boy growing.
I will be more than happy to talk more with you if you have any questions.
Take Care,
M.