Controlling Ex

Unless you have this all in detail in a court order there is not much you can do. If you don't have one then don't let them go that day. If you don't have a court order you need to get that going to protect all of you.

Edited: if it's in the court order that he must bring them home by a certain time and he doesn't you pick up the phone and dial 911 because that is technically kidnapping.

I had to have our court changed to include that our child is to attend all events (parties, play dates, sports, cub scouts, etc) that fall on dads weekend. Something you might want to keep in mind for the future.

He understands it perfectly, but he doesn't care he's playing with you. Go there to pick them up when scheduled. If he doesn't allow you to then get the police involved and have your court order there.

Is the schedule ya'll have made up something that went through the courts? if so then you can probably get him in "trouble". If it is something that ya'll did just between the two of you then I would just leave the day before, maybe stay with a friend or a relative so that you wont be there when he goes to pick up your kids. This is so that they dont have to witness any fighting or a bad scene. I dont suggest sending just them and you staying, because that wouldnt be safe for you. I would get the courts involved, either more if they already are or get the ball rolling if you havent. Stand your ground, dont cave in, even once because that is just giving him the power. But I really suggest getting the courts involved. Controlling men can turn violent at the flip of a switch! Good luck and God Bless!

Well my thoughts are if he isn't supposed to have them on that day/weekend and you have the proof to back that up, just be sure ya'll are not there when he arrives. I say you have to have the proof in case he tries to bring the law or courts into it, you can show them this proof. If he won't listen to reason or budge, this may be the only answer in this situation. Good luck.

If you have specific court papers that spell it out in black and white he can't keep the kids or he can be charged with contempt of court and possibly interferance with visitation. Both charges have consequences - I found the statutes for my area on the internet when I needed it and printed them off and had them ready as a warning. Its my experience that when you are informed about what you will be filing in court the ex seems to listen more because he is trying to get away with more not get himself into trouble or get fined or have his visitation suspended. If his birthday isn't part of the visitation agreement you don't have to give it to him because he could celebrate on another day. I would stick to the court papers exactly because if you deviate you will ruin your chance to get him to stick to the paperwork in the future and the court will be less likely to take your side and will end up dismissing with a warning to both of you. A word of warning - if you try to get the police involved you won't have very much luck. They don't have to enforce court documents in civil matters like that. They can only ensure that any disturbance doesn't get out of hand and refer you to take it back to court to get the judge to enact a punishment. Mainly because there isn't any proof that the document you hold is the most current one. The biggest thing to remember is that he is probably just trying to get you upset and stressed out which he is accomplishing. He probably still has feelings for you that he doesn't know what to do with so he is being bitter and coniving. In the end if you let him get to you are you going to enjoy your plans? And the time you do spend with your kids? Document everything, use it in court if you can to make the situation better, but relax and enjoy your summer. Good Luck!

Bring your document with the orders and call the police to assist you. No, not optimal. But neither is letting your kids see you get walked all over. Be calm, don't cause a scene, just make it clear if he doesn't follow through what will happen. Sit in your car with the doors locked until the police come.

By the way, what does your lawyer say?

Keep going back to court. They might slap his wrist once or twice, but there are plenty of judges who won't take kindly to their orders being disobeyed repeatedly.

A lot of social workers and therapists are mediators for the courts, so they know the rules... but you could go together with all adults (step-parents or S/O) as a therapist appointment to take the word "court" out of it... the therapist can also take the time to find out how the children feel about it all... with all this stress around them they should probably be seeing one anyway.

Good Luck! Been There, Done That- Hope I never have to do it again!!!

If he's not followed the rules of the court-ordered visitation, time to call your lawyer back up and find out what the options are.

I am wondering why you are scheduling your vacation during his birthday. How would you feel if you were in his shoes. My guess is you would be on here complaining because he won't let you see your own kids on your birthday.