Could It Be More than Normal Anxiety?

Updated on July 18, 2012
D.M. asks from Littleton, CO
10 answers

My 5 1/2 year old girl is aftraid to be in her room alone at night (to go or stay in bed) and afraid to go to the bathroom alone. This has been going on for several months. When I asked her WHY she was so afraid, she would tell me the preview for the Lorax (trailer before the movie) scared her. One night I tried to make her go to sleep alone and she had a meltdown (not typical for her at all - ever). I think she was really scared. Also, she chews her nails/fingers.... just didn't know if this was typical or I should be concerned. She's my first...

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Mine is the same way. I leave her with my bathrobe "magic bathrobe" and it seems to help. Reading Highly Sensitive Child book helped me too.

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M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Maybe borderline normal, getting to excessive? It's normal to be scared as a kid, and normal (not to a extreme) to bite nails and stuff but, if it seems like it could be to much according to your mommy instinct, you may want to mention it to your ped.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Okay... developmentally at certain ages and during childhood, from about 2 years old, kids get "fears"... of the dark, being alone, noises at night etc. And its normal. Their "imagination" is changing etc.
When I was a kid, I was like that too. Most kids are.

And sure, movies scare them. Things that don't affect adults, visually or sound wise, may scare a kid.

Chewing nails, well some kids do that. My daughter does that. My Husband does that. But they don't have medical problems or psychological problems.

Per night time, let her have her own flashlight to keep in bed with her. My kids have that and they are 5 and 9. It is convenient as well, and helps them.

Does your daughter have loveys? Or in bed with her? My kids have many. I did too, when I was a child.
When I was a child, I remember being scared at night too, in my room... and my parents down the hall. Shadows, noises, the dark, was just scary at night. Childhood.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a 6 YO GD who is deathly afraid of the dark. Correction, she tells me she's not afraid of the dark, she's afraid of what's in the dark! She won't even walk down the hallway unless someone turns on the hall light even if there is light in the hallway from the kitchen or bedrooms. She also chalks it up to a movie, but I can't remember which one.

No suggestions here - just wanted you to know my GD does the same thing!

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

My 5 1/2 year old chews her nails. AND her toe nails. (gross, I know) But she doesn't have any irrational fears, or at least, she doesn't tell me about them. Still, I don't think this isn't something that would be considered normal. Kids have big imaginations. My older daughter who's 8 now used to be terrified of the toilet overflowing, so she would always hoover around the bathroom when someone was in there to make sure it didn't overflow. Crazy kid! She got over it eventually.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

I went through that, for a few years. It was horrible, I was absolutely petrified of the dark!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I recall that happening with my son-probably about that age. His thing was he was upset about the concept of infinity and didn't want anything infinitely-not even heaven. He was honestly frightened by this and could not sleep alone either. His brother moved to his bed with him but it still took him awhile to fall asleep b/c he couldn't switch his mind off.

This same son would not go into the bathroom at one point because he was reminded of a spongebob episode whnd he was sitting alone in there.

Both of these anxietys just faded away and so will your daughter's.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter did that for around a year. She's just now getting over it (she's 5.5yo). It sounds pretty normal, all in all.

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K.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was really afraid of the dark as a kid and refused to sleep in my room. My mom tried a lot of different things but I usually ended up sleeping on their floor. We were talking about it a few months ago, and I jokingly said "yeah it was scary in my room!" and my mom said "I never knew you were afraid, you never told me that!" I don't remember very well, but I guess I never really verbalized why I refused to sleep in my room. I remember being scared. Anyway, now as an adult I have anxiety and depression, and am medicated for it, and looking back I had a lot of anxiety/OCD behaviors as a kid too, like I couldn't sleep unless the pillows from my bed were arranged on the floor exactly as they were on my bed. Apparently my mom didn't notice that either, I pointed that out to her recently. You could try having your daughter talk to someone like a therapist, and maybe it will allow her to say things she doesn't want to tell you? Maybe it will work out some other issues. Or maybe she's just a normal kid! :)

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J.L.

answers from St. Cloud on

As a teen I remember getting the heebie-jeebies coming back from the bathroom at night, so I'd run and jump into bed to keep the boogey man from catching my feet. :P

I don't know if it's normal anxiety. I'd say keep an eye on her behavior in general to see if it escalates. It may be worth it to learn how to keep anxiety at bay. I think it starts as a worry and progresses into anxiety. I have pretty high anxiety even though I'm perfectly happy. Everyone has their own threshold of anxiety. I score really high when tested, but I can function just fine (99.9% of the time). My wish is that I would have had parents who noticed it earlier so it didn't grow to be a part of me.

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