Daddy-Daughter Dates

Updated on July 25, 2012
N.G. asks from Arlington, TX
19 answers

Does your husband (or your daughter's Dad) do this with his girl?

I've hinted to my husband several times that I would *love* for him to do this for him & our two girls (they are ages 8 and 5). A friend of ours does this with his three daughters, and it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard of. I mean, those are memories that those girls will cherish FOREVER. Hubby's not the kind of guy to plan and initiate this kind of thing, and after talking to him about it quite a few times, it doesn't look like he's going to this time, either. However, I feel like I'm meddling in his relationship with our daughters if I plan it for him, like it wouldn't be as special.

What do you think? Should I plan it for them?

Also, do you have some suggestions for Daddy-daughter dates that would be fun & special?

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I love what AV said about the dad doing it so his daughters would know how they should expect to be treated.

I would think that that would be a good way to approach it with hubby. Tell him he will be teaching them what to expect for a male suitor. He may be more on board with that as he believes he is, and he actually is, teaching them a valuable lesson. Some girls put up with bad treatment because they don't know that they have a right to expect more. Have hubby teach them otherwise!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe start with him just taking them individually on errands. Mine kids are 4 & 2 and my husband will rotate who he takes, especially to Hardees on Sundays. It's not really about the activity yet as it is the one on one time-good luck

1 mom found this helpful

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☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sure, here's how you 'plan' it for them. You tell your honey that you're going to be doing xyz (nails, hair, girlfriends night out, etc.) from such and such time. Then you start telling them that you have some mommy time planned and lucky them! They're going to have some daddy/daughter time!

It works. Trust me :)

4 moms found this helpful

J.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

My dad and I had a "date" once a week when I was in high school. My mom had a night class every week so we went out for dinner.
We still do a date night about once a year (we live almost 3 hours apart). We are still very close because of our one-on-one time that we had when I was young.
Ask him to go pick out a movie and grab an ice cream cone with each one separately and you can tell them its their "date" with daddy.

3 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did this with my kids for a while.

We'd go to town and have an ice cream (soft serve) and do other things. We went swimming in our creek and lake. We'd go to the woods and have a picnic. It worked well until they became teenagers.

Good idea. Good luck to you and yours.

2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

my husband loves to do this! He also does this with our son. He will take my daughter to the museums in DC (she loves it!), he will take her out for lunch, frozen yogurt, and to the park. He does this about once or twice a month. My dad never really did this with me very much and I wish I had that time with him.

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S.M.

answers from Memphis on

This summer my husband has taken one of my girls each Friday out to breakfast before work. They take turns so they each get time alone with him. They are so tired that day but it is so sweet because they don't want to miss their time with him. Also, our local Lowe's has a free kid's workshop on Saturdays and Sundays (it rotates each week) and he takes the kids when he can and they make a project together. They love it.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

My husband does this with his daughter and it's wonderful! I would do the suggestion one person already made.

Tell your husband that you are doing XYZ in the evening (could be an evening out with your friends, etc.) and he is responsible for taking the girls out to dinner. He might need some suggestions, a good place would be one that's fun. My daughter likes Culvers because they get hamburgers and then frozen custard.

Telling your husband that these are moments the girls will cherish FOREVER puts a lot of pressure on a guy! I would ease up a little bit. It doesn't have to be fancy to be precious. Start with dinner!

I joined a mom's group and we have mom's only get-togethers. It's our time for girl chat! My husband takes our daughter out for dinner or a movie or they go to the arcade on those nights. I'm sure if I didn't have my meetings that my husband would be less inclined to just leave with her and me stay at home.

Another idea is you take one daughter somewhere special and he takes the other. Then you switch the next time. That gives each girl some one-on-one time with each parent! Going separate places and letting the child decide would probably make them both really excited! I'm sure they would treasure time that's just about them.

Also, check and see if there's a Daddy-Daughter dance. My husband used to do this with his daughter, but now they like to do more grown-up things like the movies.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Daddy daughter dates can be a trip to Walmart. The point is one on one time together where Daddy puts his focus on them. it doesn't have to be "fancy".
Sometimes he takes them to the park
or to yogurt.
Sometimes daddy dates happen because I need some time to myself, and if you preface it that way your husband may not feel so on the spot.

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C.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

Do you have a Chic fil A nearby? They do daddy-daughter nights (close off a section of the restaurant) I think once a month? DH hasn't taken our girl yet, but we did stop by there one night when they were having the event and he seemed to be interested in taking her!

It could even be something as simple as a picnic at a nearby park (or the backyard)! This, I have gotten hubby to do (after I pack the food) and they both LOVE the time together!

Oh, and their "special" thing is on the days he picks her up at daycare, they stop at Sonic for cheese fries and a drink! She never asks me to take her, but she gets excited when I tell her daddy will be picking her up because she knows they will go. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I think you should just plan them! Planning is not his forte, obviously. I don't think you planning would take away their enjoyment.

I fondly remember going with my dad places. Swimming, ice cream, dinner, shopping, fishing, putt putt golf, etc. Anything will be special!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I think it's like when we say "if i have to tell you what's wrong, it's just not the same. if you really loved me, you would know." That makes sense in teenager romance fantasy-land, but in the real world, you really have to tell them EXACTLY what is wrong, spell out what they did, tell them in detail what they should have done, and possibly provide diagrams to assist in your presentation. That's a real relationship with a man - if you want anything to actually improve.

Soooo...plan the date for him. Get the girls ready. Prepare any necessary take alongs. Heck, lay out his clothes if that will help. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who planned it. That time together will be amazing memories regardless; who cares who planned it! After a few times, he might even take the initiative himself...

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes, my Husband does "dates" with our daughter.
And he does it with our son too.

It entails, him going out with my daughter, and doing what she would like.
He even took her to do a pedicure once, while he waited.
Or he took her shopping for some shorts she needed.
Or he took her bicycle riding or to the beach. Or to the movies.
Or they do hiking.
My Husband even played tea party with my daughter, when she was younger. And he'd let her put make up on his face, just for fun.

With our son, he takes him hiking and skateboarding and just doing guy stuff.

It is very important, for a Dad, to "bond" with the daughter. My late Dad... did this with me. He would even just stay up LATE at night, when I was a Teen, just because he knew that was my favorite time to chat about stuff. And we'd watch tv together. And he even would take me clothes shopping and teach me how to cook. It was real special. My Dad is passed away now... but I ALWAYS remember him, for the EFFORT he took, to "bond" with me. That really, counts... as a girl grows up. And before it is too late.
Doing this now, with your daughters... BEFORE they get to be Tweens or Teens... is to me, very important. THEN if your Husband bonds with his daughters now... when they are Teens... and older... they will feel close to him. Instead of shunning him away. At that age. My Dad took a lot of time and effort to do things with me, as a daughter. And then as I got to be a Teen and older... I was still close to him, and KNEW I could count on him... even for girl stuff and talks. It means a lot. Long term.

Your Husband... it would benefit him, to think long term... and how doing things with his daughters, will "impact" them, as they get older... and become Teens... and how stable they are and in terms of their confidence etc. Or if they seek "outside" relations to feel close, to a boy. Or not.

"You" should not plan it for them.
LET YOUR HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER plan it.
Don't micromanage it.
It is, "their" special time.
I let my Husband and daughter, decide what to do.
And my daughter LOVES it.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Friend was a widower with 2 girls. He took his girls out to the movies or dinner or brunch, one on one for some dad-daughter time. His intention was to spend time with them and show them how to expect to be treated. Maybe if it's not a "date" per se, just say, "Sally has class on Thursday night. It would be a good time for you do so something with Tara, just the two of you." See what he does. If he doesn't seem like he's moving on it, say, "Do you want suggestions?" but otherwise see what he does. With my little one, she goes to playgrounds with DH when he goes out for a run or bike ride. That's their "thing" and I love it.

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

For my 13th birthday, my dad arranged a father-daughter fishing trip. That's as close as I can personally come to what you may be referring to. He got a guide to take us out on a bigger boat than we had at the time and we went striper fishing. I had a blast (even though I had to get up at 3 am). Suggest he find something that HE likes to do, that he thinks the girls might enjoy with him. That might get him a little more into the idea!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My husband never really initiated this kind of thing either.
Luckily our Girl Scout association held a big father daughter dance every year and of course every daddy and daughter went: all dressed up, dancing, corsages, fancy food, games, photos and HUGE memories. The dads loved it every bit as much as the girls.
Our school also put on a father daughter ice cream social, and mother son dodge ball, as two very fun, successful fundraisers.
Encourage your husband to share HIS interests with his girls. My husband is a huge golfer and my youngest daughter REALLY loves it when he takes her out with him. She's even got her own set of clubs now, and they just competed in a parent child mini tournament! He also regularly takes both our girls to the gym to work out and then get frozen yogurt after and they love that. I think those are the memories they cherish the most, just doing regular things together, without mom always being around :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Maybe stop calling it a date and he'll be more receptive? I don't quite get why time between any parent and child needs to be a scheduled "thing" with a name - maybe the idea that it's a big deal with expectations is off putting. Doesn't he naturally end up spending 1:1 time with your children? If not, then make yourself scarce and let him know in advance that you have plans with one girl and suggest that he do something fun with the other. My husband regularly spends time with each child, especially his daughter, but it isn't a scheduled "thing" - maybe he'll take one along on an errand and they'll stop for breakfast or lunch, or he'll take one out for a bike ride or fishing, or take one for a haircut or out shopping or bowling or to a movie. Maybe he just doesn't realize that even girls can have interest in these kinds of things and that fishing or go-cart riding can be fun for them too.

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

He's probably just a little intimidated. Maybe you could plan it into your schedule a couple of times for the next month or two with a couple of options to choose from each time. This way your encouraging it but not controlling it.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

Once a month after church my husband takes my daughter out to the Italian Specialty store / bakery. My daughter (4) really loves those trips. He will usually pick something up for all of us, but she always gets some kind of special treat.

He also tries to take her to the park on his own at least once a month too. And he also takes her for early morning bike rides, which has become a Daddy daughter thing since I currently am almost 27 weeks pregnant...

I think that planning might be good, but like someone else suggested, make it so you are out, or arrange to do something with one of them and let him have his date with the other, then switch.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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