Decreased Libido

Low estrogen level can cause that. My low estrogen level was caused by the Depo shot. If you are on that or any other progesterone-based birth control, I'd suggest talking to a doctor about switching to an estrogen-based one. It's made a huge difference for me.

I have just tried a supplement called Maca, or Maca root. It is said to help the body correct its own hormone issues. If you feel that nothing else is working, try that before you jump into hormone therapy. You can buy it online for about $10. It is worth a try!

Hi, S.! When when I was pregnant the first time, my husband and I went to every birthing/preparing for baby class available. The nurse that taught the majority of them warned us about something that turned out to be SO true for me. She said that, as much as a woman loves snuggling with her baby, nursing her baby, etc., that by the end of the day she is "touched out" and wants to borrow her own body back!

That little warning came back to me a couple months after my son was born because we were finally "cleared" to have intercourse and I just dreaded the thought of having my husband so much as put his arm around me! I was turning down back rubs, so he knew something was up. :-)

I don't know if this will relate to you or not, but I thought I'd add it. In the end, I had to remind myself that he has vowed to let ME be the only one that fulfills his needs and he's trusting me to meet them even if I am "touched out" or whatever. I just had to put mind over matter until I got used to it again.

Good luck!

I would definitely see your doctor and ask to have your hormone levels checked, just to make sure. It's entirely possible that it's just fatigue/stress related, but if you really have zero sex drive, it may be something physical. I had mine checked at my yearly physical one year when I was feeling the same way. My levels were normal, but it was nice to be able to rule that out as the problem.

Ever since my now 3 year old was born, I had no desire to be intimate with my husband. I finally talked to my doctor and she said it was my hormones. Every woman produces testosterone and after having two kids, my level dropped. She prescribed testosterone drops for me. I've only used them for a week and I can feel a little different but it's too soon to tell for sure. It is normal though to feel that way after having children.

I had terrible problems with systemic candida yeast overgrowth after giving birth to my 2 kids. (The problem stemmed from being given lots of antibiotics as a child, but it came to a head during pregnancy.) It resulted in many symptoms, including depression, irritability, brain fog, fatigue - and low sex drive. Like, zero for a while.

You can google Candida and find lots of good info. This is an EXTREMELY common ailment. Lots of people suffer from it but chalk it up to other things. Pregnancy makes it worse, because of the hormones.

It took me over ten years of trial and error with radical diets and many different kinds of supplements, but I'm beating it. If you think this might be an issue for you, here's what I would suggest (this should save you years and a boatload of money vs. trying to take potshots in the dark on your own:)

First, find a qualified practitioner. This probably won't be an MD. Find someone who can give you a blood test that they send out to a lab and tells you EXACTLY what nutrients your body is lacking. (Probably you'll need lots of natural Vitamin B complex, but they'll be able to put you onto the right one.) If it's a competent practitioner they should be able to give you the dietary information you'll need to cope, as well as set you up with a high-quality probiotic. (No, just eating yogurt isn't enough if your candida is severe enough to destroy your libido.)

After about 8 years of struggling on my own and seeing various practitioners who did minimal good, I finally found Barbara Bradley in Wausau, WI. Her nutritional analysis and treatment made a huge difference in my overall well-being.

But it wasn't until I tried ThreeLac that I got my libido back - and I mean RAGING back. You can order it online. You'll want to do some background reading, though. There are some slightly scary claims about it, so you'll need to decide if you want to try it. (If you do, I'd suggest working on your general health first.) But for me it is the one thing that is finally bringing me back to full health. (I don't sell the stuff - this is just my experience.)

If you think Candida may be an issue, hang in there. It's difficult to beat and can take years (you didn't get to this stage overnight) but it can be treated successfully!

Have you had your thyroid level checked lately? My cousin and I both had our thyroid's go out of whack after having our first child. A low producing thyroid causes many problems with your body, including decreased libido.

After my 2nd (and last) baby was born it took FOR-EV-ER for my sex drive to come back. We're talking years. I think it maybe does have to do with the fact that we're so tired by the end of the day. How did we change that? Finding times to do it during the day instead of at the end ;0)

It could also have to do with something a little deeper and more primal (here's my deep thought for the day): We now have our children. There's no need to seduce our mate and reprodouce. So our badies aren't producing as many hormones encouraging us to make babies, babies and more babies.

You may want to talk to your dr and see what they say, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just be patient.

one thing i remember is that i had to be "talked into" having sex again. once you go for a long time, you can just keep going and going, but once i had sex with my husband again, we were back on track. we didnt wait that long, of course :P after my doc gave the ok, we went for it. the first time we didnt actually finish the act or anything, there wasnt any pressure, but i just made sure i was willing to give it a try even though i didnt think i wanted to. it was worth it.
so when you are sure you are healed enough to be ready, just go for it, even if its uncomfotrable. make sure to have lube on hand. its VERY helpful! :D
good luck
and just do it!

I have been doing some research about some of my own medical issues and found that some women have something called "estrogen dominance." Having this can cause a number of issues, including a low sex drive. There is a supplement you can take called "DIM". I ordered mine online and it should be here later this week. Even if the DIM doesn't help my medical issues, the benefits alone(breast health, antioxidant, etc) seem like it would certainly be worth it.

You can also talk to your OB/GYN as having a low sex drive CAN be a medical/hormonal issue, and it's always worth hearing what your doctor thinks.

I don't know how old your kids are, but if there hasn't been much time that you haven't either been pregnant or nursing...it's very normal. Your hormone levels are very different in both of these circumstances. I'm in the same boat. I agree with what someone said about being "touched out" and being so busy with taking care of 3 kids. You are so focused on their needs, it is hard to let go of that and then focus on your husband. It really is, as someone else said, "mind over matter." It will get better. I agree though that if you are really concerned about, get your hormone levels checked. What can it hurt?

First, talk to your doctor. If everything is ok there, I have a few other suggestions.
How long has it been since you have done something just for you? Maybe go get your hair and nails done and buy some new clothes. Feeling good about yourself is very important. Find a sitter or make your man stay home with the kids for a day and treat yourself.
Other things you can do is find a sitter and have a date night once a week, get fixed up and go have some fun with your partner! Spice things up. Make-out like the old days. Buy some sexy lingerie.
Also, take time for yourself and relax. Do some things you want to do. Don't feel guilty about it, either.

I went through EXACTLY the same thing and went to my doctor thinking there HAD to be something wrong with me. He assured me that it was totally normal and directly related to being a mom of young children. He couldn't count the number of women who had come to him with the same concern, nor the number of women who's problem was solved after the nest emptied. Even his own marriage went through the same thing (I have a very open doctor).
If you think something else is really wrong, have a talk with your doctor. He/she would be your best source of information.

S., don't fret. I believe this is something we all go through, and it comes and goes in waves. If you are still postpartum (which seems to last forever :) then this could be a huge factor. Also, if you are still breastfeeding, that can decrease libido too. If neither of those things are occurring, you are simply going through what we all go through from time to time. My advice to you - have sex! I know it is the exact opposite of what you WANT to do, but your libido will increase with the more sex you have. Tell your partner to be persistant with you, even if you say you don't want it. You will enjoy it once it begins, and be more likely to want it again the next time. Good luck!

You are not alone. Since our daughter (she's 3 and a spunky busy body), our financial issues (stresses of dealing with), and our son's school/sports activities... I just don't have the "urge" right now either. My husband is more worried about it than I am. I just know that as things settle down, it will soon return. I agree 100% that it is due to having young children and the busy schedules. Maybe you can schedule a "date night" with your hubby to keep the fires burning. My husband and I just started that to have some alone time (right now it's just renting a movie and either his or my parents watch them during that time - cheap "date"). With the hectic life of young children, it's important to have some "us" time... and boy, that quiet time is heaven!

Best wishes
~SR

Hello S..

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What is female libido? Today, women wear many different hats which can impact their libido. Exhaustion from work, taking care of children, stress (emotional or physical) and even medications can cause a low libido in women. Having too little sexual desire is the most common sexual issue among women, reported by 10 to 51 percent surveyed in various countries, and affecting an estimated 30 to 45 million women in the United States.

Female libido can be defined as the sexual instinct in women or psychic drive or energy. It’s a very complex and intricate ­­­process where a particular combination of hormones, social expectations, and physiological responses play certain roles in sexuality. The principal sex hormone in a woman’s body that is biologically active is testosterone. This is an androgen that is found in both males and females. All women are not the same and many have experienced low sexual desire at some part of their lives. Pre and post-menopausal women, for example, will experience a natural decrease in their libido because their bodies change since they are no longer in child bearing years. It can also occur for a woman around the time of her menses. A woman’s psychology also plays a very important role in a woman’s libido. Emotions can cause an increased or decreased libido.

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I totally agree with everyone else about being tired out from being a mom. But I also was wondering if maybe you are on any type of birth control? I was on the Depo shot and it COMPLETELY killed any and all sex drive I had. Now that I am off it, I've done a complete 180. Just a thought.