My three year old daughter has been stealing candy for about three weeks, everytime i turn around! She keeps finding it! In her older brothers rooms, in the pantry on the TOP shelf... it seems like no matter what i do she finds more! Well now she has resorted to stealing the only thing she can find lately that is sweet, fruit roll ups, and now the nesquik chocolate milk dry mix. I have grounded her from candy, spanked her (which I don't do often only when I have no other ideas), put her in time out.. Please help me figure out what to do, I hate to punish my boys by getting rid of everything like that, but I have NO other ideas.
I also normally have quite a bit of candy in the house, but seldem let my kids have much of it.... we still have 95% of our halloween candy.
Ok.... I didn't realize I was posting this to be criticized. She gets plenty of treats. Almost everyday she was getting a sucker for being good at school. The problem is she doesn't eat her meals very often. OF COURSE she gets rewarded for eating her food. I tried to put a lock on the pantry door, and well... my nephew thought he was helping and the door knob came off... Anyway she usually gets more than the boys if anything because they share with her and she has them wrapped around her finger.
Also I the candy is theirs, not mine. She is not being deprived in anyway.
Last I pray that none of you ever have a kid who tests your parenting skills....
If I were you, I would put some hot sauce on a piece of candy, rewrap it and let her find it. Getting a mouth full of hot sauce may make her think twice about being sneaky!
I would probably resort to stealing it too, if it was all around me and nobody would let me have any of it.
Seriously, have you tried letting her have some on a normal basis (as in, not making a big huge deal out of it)? My kids can have dessert after almost every dinner. But our definition of dessert is not a huge piece of cake. It is just "something sweet". Sometimes, that is simply A cookie. Even A oreo cookie. And my kids are older (daughter is 11)... This is something we have done for years.... and my son (now 14) often just decides he doesn't want any. It just isn't a big deal. There is no "forbidden fruit" to it, so he can and will take it or leave it.
Daughter loves "dessert", but she knows when and how much, and accepts easily when I say "you already had ___, so nothing else today."
Try making it ok, and not off limits, and maybe she will stop stealing sugar.
You know, I am a grown woman but there are certain things I don't keep around the house (like potato chips) because I find it hard to control myself sometimes.
You don't say how old she is *ETA just saw that you said she's 3!* but I assume she is a child, and a child has even less self control than an adult.
Why on EARTH are you holding on to 95% of your Halloween candy? What's the point? Just throw it away. They're probably going to get more for Christmas anyway, right?
My daughter loves sugar too. I buy her a certain amount for the week, usually a pint of ice cream and a small box of some other treat, like cookies. She knows that's it for the week. Sometimes she goes through it in two days, sometimes five, but at least she's LEARNING how to control her impulses.
Yes, I would punish her for taking her brother's candy (ie property) but she should have her OWN supply as well.
Don't you know how messed up it is to punish a child, especially a girl, over food and eating?
This is not her fault. She is not stealing, she is looking for it, finding and getting into it because it's tasty.
She's 3, not 10. Everyone else is responsible for 95% of this. Grounding her from candy will do nothing, because 3 year olds don't understand grounding. Spanking her doesn't teach her anything. Time outs when it happens make more sense, or something she doesn't like.
Teach your older kids to not keep candy in their rooms where she can find it. Put the fruit roll ups and chocolate milk where a 3 year old can't get to it.
I'd be more worried about a 3 year old getting up to the top shelf of the pantry (mine is like 6 feet high) - how is THAT happening - or is it a short pantry? If you need to put some sort of closer on it she can't reach or open till she is old enough to really get impulse control, then do that.
Teach her to ask when she's hungry or wants a treat, and that she can have a sweet treat at particular times of the day or something. And don't worry about "punishing" your boys by not having that stuff in the house. It's junk food, so it's not punishing to not have it around - it's better for them. I'd eat the stuff myself if it were around ;) They'll survive if you remove it from the shelves.
You didn't mention if you ever LET her have candy - even offer it after eating a healthy lunch or something. I have to assume here you are denying her the treats. I can sympathize with her. If I saw candy all over the place and I couldn't have it - I'd want it even more (studies have proven this as well). Why do the brothers get to keep candy in their rooms to eat whenever they want and little sister gets punished for eating it? You have to be careful here, otherwise, you are going to have a problem with your daughter and food.
If it were me, I would go through all the candy with the kids (from everywhere in the house, even the brother's rooms). Keep the favorites and throw away or donate the rest - to reduce the amount in the house. I'd also let them have one piece at that time for no reason other than it's there and they are looking at it.
Immediately after that, you need to set rules that don't include denying them and punishing. For us, you get a treat if you eat your healthy food - not ALL your food, b/c that is also a problem. For instance, if I make dinner of baked chicken, veggies and mac n cheese - they have to eat the chicken and veggies to get a treat b/c the mac and cheese is junk food as well. You don't have to stuff yourself with junk to get more junk - bad message.
And put the treats in the cabinet above the fridge or microwave and get a child proof lock to close it.
I think you have a big problem with letting the boys eat it whenever they want, probably because they are older. But 3 yo sister only knows she loves candy and she can't have it, but big brothers can - of course she's stealing it. The rules here have to be as equal as possible - either everone gets candy in their bedrooms to eat when they want and even 3 yo sister gets some in her room too, or it's monitored by you for all the kids - and distributed to everyone with the same rules.
Really??
It is ok for everyone in the house to have candy/sweets but her... not fair. The fact that you forbid her to have it makes her want it more. And GEES, how on earth does spanking help?
Whew, this is a set up for some long term, dangerous eating habits for your daughter.
You do know, it is ok for her to have some sweets (limited of course). She probably would not have this behavior at all id she were treated like the rest of the family. She is 3, she is learning... help her learn instead of punishing her. The fact that you and your boys "hide" it make it more desirable to her. How about allowing her to have a stash and that said stash has to last a specific number of days... say 1 week. Learn moderation and don't keep so much junk food in your house.
Our kids weren't food thieves, but they loved to get into our pantry to make a mess. They just didn't have the impulse control to stop themselves from pouring, dumping and playing in the food. So we bought a flip lock to keep the kiddos out of the pantry. We were also afraid that exploring the bottom shelves would turn into scaling the closet and getting hurt. Sounds like you just need to secure up the candy better. Having candy all over the house sounds like a bad idea to me.
Teach her that there are appropriate times to have a treat. When she eats well and has a good day, let her have a piece of candy. Let her see that it's not something all around her that she is forbidden to have. Help her learn when it's ok and WHY junk all day is a bad idea.
And please, please make sure household cleaners and medicines are secure. Some of that stuff looks "tasty" and you may have bigger issues on your hands. As someone who has gone through it first hand, please make sure all that stuff is VERY secure, no matter how inconvenient.
Do you have a cupboard over the stove or refridge? It's a good place to put candy, cookies and chips. I have no trouble reaching the cupboard over the stove but the one over the fridge even I have stand on a chair. I can resist cookies and candy but potato chips stay at the store unless I am having a group over and buy them for that.
You could also get a small tote, put these things in it and store in your bedroom closet on a high shelf.
I remember back to a VERY old Simpsons episode where Sheriff Wiggams says to his son, "I don't understand your fascination with my closet of mystery."
If the candy isn't in there, she won't go looking for it. Take it from wherever you keep it, show her it's not there and if you really want to keep it around, hide it somewhere where she will not go looking for it.
Why even bother to keep a lot if they don't eat it. I say keep a small bag stashed somewhere and toss the rest.
We always have candy in the house as well, but the boys have to go through me to get it. They get a piece of Halloween candy a day until it is gone, sometimes more for a special treat. Could you keep it in the deep freeze or locked in a cupboard? Also, make sure your daughter is consistently disciplined for helping herself.
You need to find a place to hide it. Or lock it up. I know my friend had a lock on one of her cabinets so her son couldn't get into it. Granted he was 20 but same concept. That way it can still be in the house but she can't get into it. And tell your boys if they have anything it needs to be hidden.
