This is the 2nd week of school for my little guy (kindergarten). I have caught him using words that we do not allow in our house, in context of name calling - like you're stupid, your're a weirdo. Finally last night he asked me what a dumbo was. I asked him why and he said a kid keeps calling him these names. I am sensitive to it bc I know my kid has big floppy ears. I emailed the teacher last night and asked if she could speak with my son, 1 on 1, and see if there is more to the story. Do you think I jumped the gun on this and should have wait to see how it played out?
Thanks
Teacher replied pretty quickly last night and was very nice with her response. She said she would definitely talk with him and also a reminder to the whole class about name calling.
Nope. Nip it in the bud now.
I would be in there volunteering when I could and observe as well.
It's kindergarten ... he needs you to help take control of the situation. I would also talk to him about talking to the teacher about it when this other child or any other child says things like this as well as his responisbility to NOT say these things to others. If kids can be bullied in a more controlled environment young it may help prevent bullying when they are older (both sides of the fence).
Nope and I wouldn't call it meddling. I'd call it an awareness campaign...you are making the teacher aware of the behavior going on in her classroom.
We had something similar happen last year. My husband told me to wait...I didn't and I am so glad I emailed our daughters teacher the very next morning.
Sydnee came home and said "the kids are calling me weirdo and no one will play with me"...I of course am her mom and think she is the coolest girl in town. We never spoke to her like she was a baby and always have used "adult" words (not speaking about cursing), so I wondered if this was the issue. On many occasions I have had adults say "wow her vocabulary is large"...
I wrote her teacher and said "Seems that Sydnee is not making friends well and she is bothered by this, would you please keep an eye on her and let me know what you see?"....
Her teachers response was that of course she would. And within two days she let me know (confirmed my suspicion regarding the above without even knowing that was my concern).
So in short, I do not think you jump the gun. Better to nip in the bud now then later. I believe in comminucation with my kids and their teacher(s).
Also side note...I too had big ears as a kid and was called all sorts of names. It can be hurtful and I think you did the right thing for your child.
Keep us posted on what she finds out.
Udpated...I too agree with Jo W...I told Syd to say "I am unique and if you want to we can be friends, but if you don't want to you then please don't speak to me"....
Nope. Not at his age. He needs to know you have his back. Also, the teacher may not have seen it and she can't stop it if she doesn't know what's going on.
I agree with going ahead and getting a jump on it since he's in kindergarten and so little. I do also agree with Jo W's idea of teaching the art of the witty comeback! It's extremely important for kids to learn how to navigate and shut down teasers and bullies before it gets to a detrimental point. Those who are true bullies will NOT stop until they get a response, so if your child can learn to shut them down early -and even better with some humor thrown in-then he won't be bothered much!
I think you did just fine.
I'd tell him to tell that kid to "You need to go look in a mirror, because you are not that pretty either!"
I agree that kids need to handle things by themselves, to a point. HOWEVER if someone tells you something hurt their feelings then you are dismissing them and their feelings by saying that "you need to grow a thicker skin" junk.
Sometimes kids just cannot find the will to be mean back to defend themselves. My daughter could not. All she could do was cry because she is sweet and smart and could not understand why kids were mean to her for no reason. He didn't want to say anything back because she felt it was mean. My daughter literally wanted to die because she was teased so much.
Make sure he knows it is never never good to call people names or pick on someone. Teach him to be the champion.
No, a casual "can you check into this" email is probably exactly right! You don't want to over react and go off half-cocked and MAKE a problem where there wasn't one. OTOH you'd feel horrible if it DID turn out to be serious and you hadn't done anything. In my book you can almost never go wrong by asking for more information
Absolutely not. Yes, kids need to learn how to handle things on their own, but he's probably 5. If we don't stand up for our kiddo's, who will? And if it's already started - good for you because it's going to be a long year. If the school knows you won't put up with it now they will be more willing to work with you. In my experience.
Absolutely not! As a former teacher you did the right thing by bringing this to the teacher's attention so she can investigate further. It will help her to reiterate to her entire class that names of these sort are not tolerated. I don't think you could ever jump the gun if you have a concern for your child. (unless if it is a nit-picky issue like not being chosen for something this week, etc.). The faster the problem can be solved, the better!
A.
Nope, better sooner than later. It needed to be addressed.
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What you did was right. With your approach the teacher will be willing to work with you. My Godson has big ears and was teased. I remember one day he came home said the kids called him sattelight ears. Kids can be so cruel. Just encourage him that you love him and his ears. Kids pick up name calling and words you don't use from school. My daughters favorite word right now is booty. She thinks its very funny so she gets in trouble for saying it now. Good luck!!
I don't think you jumped the gun. They are only in kindergarten. Kids need help working these things out, they don't have the "tools" to do that on their own yet. The little guy that is saying things to your son needs to understand that when he calls your son dumbo, it's hurtful. Your son needs to understand that when someone is not being nice to him, his teacher is there to protect him when mom and dad are not around. These are all things we learned in kindergarten, but not on our own. :)
You absolutely did the right thing! If left to fester it only gets worse, it can become a stigma that follows them from year to year, however undeserved. One kids can turn into many if they become the "cool" one on the playground that everyone wants to be like.
I was teased relentlessly through school. Started with a couple kids in kindergarden and continuted until we moved to another school district becuase the same kids followed me from class to class. They were small schools so they were in the same class as me more often then not.
A child can't learn in a hostile environment, they're always worried about what's going to be said about them next.
Good for your son for coming to you and good for you for taking him seriously. Glad you have a teacher that is proactive.
No, you did good, the teacher can handle it.
What you did was perfect!
Take care
J.
Eh--I think you did the right thing.....talk to your son about how to respond when someone calls him names. Role play it with him.
No you didn't meddle too soon at all. My sons K teacher was very strict on name calling. They got their color moved and lost free time if she heard them or the child being picked on told. I witnessed it on more than one occasion since I vonunteered in the classroom so I think the teacher will not ignore it.
Another thing I doubt they are calling him dumbo like the elephant. I bet the kids don't even know who that is but I see your concern because eventually someone will associate the two. My young cousin has huge ears and he is now going into 5th grade and he started to grow his hair out last year in fourth becuase kids started picking on him. I don't think kids that young in K notice things like that teasing comes when kids are a bit older.(hopefully in your sons case.) I think you did the right thing,I would have.
Wow Kindergarden. Mine didnt to start to get bullies until 3rd grade. I'm sorry.. Definitely you need to note each and every time and document it. Good luck on trying to explain to a kindergardener that kids are mean and are like that because they are bred at home like that. To try to ignore them and yet stick up for himself.
I think you did the right thing. I have done and will continue to do so when things like this happen. I have one going into the middle school, one in 5th grade and one starting kindergarten and one in preschool. Kids can be cruel and unfortunately they don't understand all the time that what they are saying is hurtful.
I hope it gets better for your little guy. Keep up the good work mom!
Nope, never too soon to intervene...especially when it starts out small with name calling.
if you can - start volunteering at the school - so you can see for yourself first hand what is happening...
stay in communication with the teacher - then she won't let this "slip"...
GOOD LUCK!!
No , it is best to nip this in the bud. But don't be surprised if the teacher doesn't get overly concerned. As parents we feel for our children in a way that some teachers don't. Usually at this age they move on quickly. What you don't want is the nickname to stick. I am sure your son is very handsome, but have considered ear pinning? I know this can become a painful social issue for some children.
No, I agree that it's best to nip it in the bud. :)
I would do the same.
