Did Your Fiance Help with the Wedding Planning?

He was soooooo involved, it drove me crazy, caused fights, wedding almost didn't happen. We wound up making so many compromises, neither of us got anything close to the day we wanted. Would never do it again. ELOPE!

My fiance planned the whole thing ahead of time for Vegas. Granted, maybe not as planning intense but he KNEW that 1. I didn't want to plan and 2. that I take FOREVER to decide anything.

I got O. call from the venue asking me if I would prefer "pastel" or "bright" flowers for my bouquet and I answered O. word: bright. That was ALL of my input. Except for my gown, which I chose & bought & took.

No.
But it didn't matter because my Mom (who is a project manager in her professional life) came charging in and took over...

ha ha mine was really 'frank' about it...said "seriously, I love you and its YOUR day...whatever you pick will be fine"
Although that irritated and pissed me off at the time (because I thought he was not 'into' the whole wedding thing) Its such a HUGE compliment to you!!! He trusts your judgement and at the end of the day, he just wants to be married to you....all the details (even down to what he wears) is just a formality...he could care less if you picked out a clown suit for him...he would wear it if it made you happy
Congrats....sounds to me like you have a keepers...good thing is this WILL bleed into other things going forward (color of paint for your walls etc)

Mine jumped right in there....colorblind too but very much involved, lol. He didn't get involved with the dresses because my best friend and I designed them and she made them all, including my wedding dress which I didn't want him to see anyway. He did pick out the tuxes to coordinate with our fabric and he was VERY involved with picking the caterers and the cake maker. My roomate was a florist and he simply gave his approval for the flowers to coordinate with everything else we had done.

The hardest part I had with him were the parties. He's not the most social sort but he went along willingly although not eagerly.

All our men are different. See if you can find something he might want to do.

God bless and Best Wishes!

M.

My husband was involved with everything except picking out my dress and the bridesmaids dresses. It was really nice to know we were doing this together!

He did absolutely nothing and that made me happy as pie. I picked out his tux and told him what time to go get fitted for it. Thats about all he did.

My husband wasn't at all interested in helping, thinking that "whatever you want, baby, makes me happy" was the perfect answer. So, I made a VERY long list of all the things on which I needed his input. Then, being the sassy person I am, I hid the tv remote until he helped me with each and every point on my list. It took about a week of discussion and errands to complete the list, at which point I returned the tv remote.

Ever after, when I asked for his help, he did so promptly rather than risk a hidden tv remote.

OOOH R.!!

Tell Rob to pull his head out of his butt - the wedding is about HIM too!!!

My Bob was there when we picked out the bride's maid dresses. Bob also helped with the choice of colors (we were married in October in New England) so we went with burgundy and gold....

He also helped pick out the cake...it's OKAY for a man to be involved in his wedding!!!

My hubby helped with everything except my dress. He has exceptional taste! I was really glad that he helped me because I was working 70 hours a week at a very stressful job and I could never have done it without his input.

Rachael,

I would be more concerned about what you MIGHT be doing all by yourself IF you marry "THE DUDE".

Perhaps a postponement of marriage may be in order until he is willing to become a contributing partner in all ways.

Blessings.....

He was completely and totally involved. We really wanted so many of the same things so that helped a lot :)
We didn't have a traditional wedding by any stretch of the word.

Since my family live in New Mexico and my hubby's family lives in England, we only had eachother. We planned everything together every step of the way and I loved it! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Men are not fashion minded. They really don't care. Better to just elope.

Aside from handing me the guestlist of his family/friends--he didn't.

Yes, he helped by paying for it, except for about $2500. And he already had a tux b/c we go to a lot of formal events. Otherwise, I made all the decisions.

Mine picked the tuxedos. My only stipulation was no pale blue! I sent along a swatch of color from the bridesmaid dresses.

mine tried to do more than i wanted him to lol. he wanted to choose the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. I told him thanks but I already had mine picked out he just needed to choose his own. He didn't ask but "TOLD" me that he was wearing a white tux. Which pissed me off. I wanted to be the one in white and not have him in white too. But he told me he wore black for his first wedding and didn't want to wear the same thing. so what could I do. I had the song picked out that I thought was the perfect song for us. We had talked about it and talked about it and agreed on it. Then the day of the wedding when they announced our first dance it was a totally different song. He said oh I thought this one was better. He didn't care about the flowers, and or food or the hall. So all of that went fine. but it is a wonder that we have made it for 25 years as our whole marriage has been like the wedding lol

I planned the wedding, my hubby planned the reception - we actually had activities and presentations based on how we met (karate, Scottish dancing), so there was actual planning for the reception LOL :) We picked the invitations together.

Yes! He was involved every step of the way. We had a very traditional wedding--we got married one year after we graduated from college. Other than our jobs, we had no other distractions. It was great!

We were living on opposite coasts but my then-fiance said he wanted to help! He handled the invitations, wording (which he ran by me), ordering the invites, etc. That was back in the days before you just printed it at home! He also went with me, when he visited me on the East Coast, to sample food at the place we'd chosen for the reception, and he was involved in choosing the hotel where folks would stay etc. He had a perfect excuse not to participate at all: "I'm 3,000 miles away!" But he did participate because he felt it was his wedding too, not solely "the bride's special day." If it's not all done by you already, I'd have your fiance handle something -- maybe, all the rehearsal dinner arrangements and the transportation to the reception or whatever -- is that manly enough?.....

Mine actually did a little bit - we picked the location together. I did the majority of everything else though, including deciding on what he would wear (with consideration for his preference of course). He met with the DJ with me, helped write vows, can did the cake and food tastings with me, so that's actually a lot. We LOVED our wedding day - it was like the best party we ever threw.

Enjoy!!!!! it goes by so fast.

Mostly it was me - I kept hubby in the loop and on most things he was fine with whatever I wanted. He didn't really care about flowers, invites, etc. - he had been married before and had been through it all once already, and it was all new to me, so he was pretty much okay with whatever I decided on. He did voice his opinion when it came to picking a reception site and deciding on the menu. And we did cake-tasting and picked out the cake together. He did ask my opinion about what I thought looked nice on him for a tux. There was one thing though that we both had strong opinions on - I wanted an open bar (because it's pretty much a standard amongst my family and my parents' friends when their kids got married) and DH did not want it because he thought it would be too expensive and things could get out of control. That was the one time that I wish he would have just butted out! My mother ended up paying for the open bar as her wedding gift to us because she really wanted us to have it too and it was the only way I could get DH to go along (and it all turned out fine). Sometimes it's nice when they don't have an opinion! Sometimes if they don't have much input, it's nice to ask your mom or sister or cousin or best friend instead!

My (now) husband is pretty picky about his clothes. He wants something comfortable that fits well. So he did go find his own outfit. I went with him and we did it in one day.

Also, our wedding was in california (his domain/expertise not mine. I'd never been there, we live in Texas. His family's in Cali) so he helped pick the location and make the reservation for the gazeebo.

I knew he wouldn't care about flowers, so didn't even ask him. I made our invitations and had him preview them before I sent them to the printers. He doesn't care about cake, so I planned a lot of that stuff with his mom (also in California).

Yes your guy needs to get his outfit. If there's an open bar, let him know about that. Otherwise, I wouldn't expect much. From what I understand, guys really don't care about the wedding. It's just one day that will start your marriage for a life-time.

Congrats and Good luck getting your guy to pick out his outfit.

Well, yes - he helped me a lot.
He showed up for tuxedo fittings, pre-cana (Catholic church marriage preparation - we tested the most compatible of our group), helped with the guest list and took care of the ring and best man's arrangements and once we decided on our destination for the honeymoon, he took care of all that.

But the biggest help was he told me what ever I wanted was fine with him.
I don't think that was being lazy at all (plus he was traveling so much for his job at the time - earning money for us - and it really helped when we bought our first home 9 months after our wedding).

Looking back on it from 22 years later, it was an amazing feat of coordination between him traveling to Ca every few weeks, our living in Northern Va, my Mom handling things in our home town in Western NY where we got married, and my sister (my Maid of Honor) coming in from Ct. So much could have gone wrong, but it didn't.

My fiance tosses in ideas, and will figure out things I ask him to, but for the main part it's up to me. :) Of course, he does have a few thing that he really wants. Our wedding is going to be pretty informal, and neither of us have a set plan, so it's really easy for us to compromise. It's nice though, because in the end his main concern is that I get the wedding I want. :)

Well, we didn't have a big fancy wedding so he didn't really do much. All in all, our wedding was only about $800. Lets see, he did pick his suit and tie. He was really sweet and picked a tie to compliment the colors I'd picked (dark blue & green, I hadn't even realized he noticed my dress was dark blue). He picked out what flavors of soda we were providing (we had a potluck reception and we provided the beverages, a huge honey cured ham and of course, the cake). He chose the song I walked down the aisle to (Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins. It's actually quite a pretty instrumental.) We chose our minister together (our Army chaplain at the time) and he didn't really care where we got married as long as it wasn't in a Church. So I chose the local Eagles lodge. I had wanted Elks but it was booked that weekend. :( Oh, and he picked out what bed & breakfast to lodge the minister at since he couldn't drive home 3 hours away after performing a wedding a 6 p.m.

I think it depends on the guy. If I'd tried to sit down with C and go over every single little detail, his eyes would have crossed and I'd have lost him. However, he felt good about what he did take care of. Especially since what he did do he volunteered for and the most part he was really good at it. All of the little details I took care of because I knew I'd obsess over them such as decorations, invitations, etc.

Nope. Besides picking out the tux, I planned the wedding with my mom's help. I have a friend whose fiancee was really involved and it just about drove her crazy!!

Not much.
He really didn't care that much about any of that stuff...except he knew he wanted to wear a "morning suit" tux. Beyond that, he just wanted to do whatever I wanted. He even suggested the court house to avoid HAVING to plan stuff.

He did, however, get thoroughly involved in the honeymoon planning, and planned the wedding night completely without input from me, as a total surprise for me. He kept it a secret.

He gave me his opinions on what he would prefer to wear, then I picked the final styles and he tried everything on.

I did everything else.

When my husband was a fiancee he wanted to be involved with everything in the wedding. Unfortunately he didn't know anything about what goes into the planning and so I either spent most of the time answering his questions about why we do this and that or explaining what or where something is going to be used in the wedding. He helped with the stuff he was majorly involved with: Tuxedo decisions, planning rehersal dinner, planning honeymoon but I honestly didn't ask him to help on anything else because I would just get frustrated and I didn't need anymore stress.

My husband and I planned every detail together - it wasn't MY day, it was OUR day to celebrate and solemnize US.
We wrote the ritual, we set up the altar, we prepared the food, we designed and printed the programs, we ripped the music from our cd collection to the computer. .

He stayed far away from it except his wallet...

He didn't help much at all... but every other dang person in the world told me what to do and guilted me into changing everything. I wish my husband would have supported what I wanted to do... instead of trying to force me to do what everyone else (like his mom and my mom), seriously awful. I really wish we would have eloped.

My husband planned more of it than I did. I was in college full time and working full time. He's a detail oriented kind of person, and I'm not picky.

The only decision he *didn't* make with me was picking my dress. He was involved with every other choice. I didn't drive at the time, so he drove us ALL OVER meeting with DJs, florists, you name it, he was there. Getting through the wedding planning together actually showed me quite clearly what kind of husband and father he would eventually turn out to be - involved, helpful and generous.

We did everything together, and it was surprisingly fun to plan.

He didn't help at all. He was in the Army so he didn't even have to decide what to wear; just wore his uniform. Of course he was also gone for 4 months training, so that kinda made wedding planning difficult for him. His input was to say he wanted to get married as soon as possilbe when he got home from training. And we did...7 days after he got home we were married.
It was a simple wedding, but the planning was done by me, my mom, and his mom. When I asked his opinion he told me whatever I wanted was fine. He said it was more important to him that we got married than the details of the ceremony. How could I complain after such a sweet comment?

I do have to say though that he has told me several times over the years that he liked the wedding. It was a nice simple ceremony that turned out to be exactly what we both wanted, and remember fondly all these years later.

Not only did he help-he paid for everything-and enlisted the help of his best man and his brothers and sisters.

Nope, not at all. Pissed me off all the way - esp. when the one thing I asked him to do - pick out our wedding song - he didn't want to do. Love my husband more than anything and he is a wonderful man in many, many ways but I should have known then and there that him helping me was not giong to be a strong suit of his! That said, my girlfriend's fiance drove her bat sh*t crazy b/c he had to be included on EVERY SINGLE detail and wouldn't agree on anything!!!

Maybe not so much the "planning" with the exception of picking the tuxes and we both decided on the order of ceremony (as well as content), food, and cake. I did most of the deciding as far as color scheme, although he certainly had a say. He did NOT want pink. For the most part, the help he gave was with things I thought he would be interested in. I wanted him to be involved and he did too - to an extent. He helped stuff envelopes, label them, place stamps on them, we did the seating chart together. I guess I would say that yes, he helped quite a bit in planning, but there were certain things that he just cared nothing about and that was fine by me.