Dinner with Hubby or Kids?

Updated on April 17, 2012
J.C. asks from Blacksburg, VA
21 answers

Our goal each night is to eat at 6 - usually it's closer to 6:30. We HAVE to eat by 6:30 so everyone can get to bed on time. My husband has a stressful job and often can't get here on time. I usually eat with the kids when that happens, because sometimes he can't even predict when he'll be home. But what do you moms think - should I wait and eat with him, whenever he might arrive? I do sit with him and talk to him while he eats. For a while I was eating twice on nights that he was late, but I had to stop that because I think I was eating more like 1 1/2 dinners and my clothes were getting tight!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I have a similar issue, but hubby eats much later. I eat with the kids. I think it's extremely important to have a family meal. When hubby gets home, I sit and talk with him while he eats.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

Eat dinner with the kids & eat desert and talk to hubby... unless he can call and let you know when he will be arriving home & if you can hold dinner off a few minutes till he gets there have everyone eat together.

3 moms found this helpful

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

When I work my office job, I have a job similar to your husbands. I most often have no idea when I'll get home.

I told my wife early on - eat without me.

If I get home just after you ate, great - we can sit and visit.

If I'm alot late - I'm a big boy and can fix dinner myself. Plus I hate to think that she might be sitting there starving until 9 or 10.

Tangent: I text my wife about 30 min before I get home. Maybe he could try this, or text you before he gets in his car so you have a heads up for planning?

7 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would eat with the kids and then have tea while my husband was eating dinner.

5 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Eat with the kids and have a glass of wine with the hubby :)

5 moms found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Lafayette on

The Kids for Sure. Then sit and keep hubby company when he eats for time with him.. The kids need at least one parent to sit and be a role model with them for healthy eating habits...

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Eat with the children. Remember meals are important family time. They also are learning manners and proper behaviors.. Eat with our mouths closed. sip not slurp.. You are the teacher and mother, so they need to watch your behaviors..

With husband sit with him and visit.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

The kids, definitely. Model good eatings habits and good table manners.

3 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

nah, eat with the kids. your husband is grown, he doesn't need the benefit of a home cooked meal with "the family" around the table, like the kiddos do. i would continue to sit with him though, why not? keep him company while he eats.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

With the kids. If you want to snack while sitting with him, eat an orange or something. My husband often gets home late, it's just easier that way.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband leaves for work around 2PM and comes home around 10PM. So, from my perspective, I say, eat when you are hungry:)

2 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

I'd eat with the kids, and maybe have your dessert while late hubs is having his dinner.

1 mom found this helpful

R.H.

answers from Austin on

Don't you dare eat dessert that late! Have a salad with hubby.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

You could save dessert to eat with him. I'd still eat with the kids, because I'd be too hungry not to.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Things sound like at my house, though I try to never eat later than 6:15. I eat with the kids.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

We had the same issue when the kids were home and I got so hungry but we did all wait and eat together. When the kids got older and coming and going with jobs, etc. we ate together unless one had to go. Now I can't do it much past 7 p.m. or I can't sleep. Maybe you could eat with the kids and then like someone suggested have a snack while he eats or I think it would be better to do a little snack while the kids eat so you are sitting with them and eat the main meal with your husband. It's so hard when work hours are so late.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Ahh, yes, I have this debate often. My husband works long hours as well and it seems to get pushed back every few months. We usually eat dinner between 6:30-7, which is later than I like, BUT since my husband works so much I feel like it's that much more important to have family dinner. So I try my best to make it work. My kids (4 and 2) go to bed between 7:30-8, so I do understand the time crunch issue too. Sometimes dishes don't get done and food doesn't get put away until after the kids are in bed, which again is not something I'm a huge fan of, but I do it when I have to. Maybe you can do some of the bedtime stuff before dinner? I don't know how old your kids are but possibly eating dinner in their pajamas could be an option if your kids are out of the super messy stage!

If you do end up splitting up dinner, I guess I'd probably eat with the kids and just sit with the husband when he gets home. In my opinion I think the kids need to have as much of a structured meal time (I mean most of the time, I'm not judging you at all) as possible. Your husband understands and although he would probably like you to eat with him, I think he would get it.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

The children need to be on their schedule-you should sit down with them even if you not eating -or you could wait and eat with your husband-but not sure how that would work with getting the children ready for bed??

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I used to feed the kids and then eat with hubby. It ended up too stressful. I couldn't count on him to be consistent with what time he got home, then I'm hopping up and down with the 3 kids and he ended up finishing his dinner and I ate mine cold : / Now I eat with kids and when he's home I can talk to him while I'm starting to clean the kitchen and having the kids start getting their PJ's on. I think it's important to eat with the kids as well and make it a "family" dinner minus 1.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I'd sit with the children, but I'd eat with my husband. Dining together can become a good event for you. Can you have a little something in the kitchen to tide you over?

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Eat with the kids and drink (not necessarily alcohol!) and chat with the hubby...

OR feed the kids and yourself a hearty after school snack, do baths, homework, etc early and then have a late family supper.....

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