Divorce and Child Custody

She can't afford NOT TO hire a lawyer. Most will allow her to make payments over time. It seems to me his hope is to settle on 50/50 and then bully and guilt her into keeping the kid full time while he does not pay. She needs a lawyer, that is just all there is to it.

I know I'm not answering your question, exactly, but I would be most concerned about the welfare the child when in his custody. Maybe she needs to consider letting him off the hook on the support in exchange for full custody? I know it isn't fair -- he should absolutely have to contribute financially, but in this case, she needs to protect her kid from an alcoholic, drug-abusing father... and may have to bargain to do it.

No, she can get child support before the divorce is finalized. My brother had to pay child support once the judge set the temporary custody order until the divorce could be finalized. So, I guess she just needs to get custody decided, then child support can be figured based on how many days spent with Mom versus Dad. Of course, the amount might change once the divorce is finalized if anything changes with regard to the custody.

As to not being able to afford the divorce, has she looked into legal aid? Or maybe just call a bunch of attorneys, check rates and who is willing to do the longest payment schedule to get the monthly payments as low as she can.

GL to her! I hate to hear about situations like this. I hope it all works out for the best for her son.

Not sure what WA laws are, but I know in MI, you DO NOT have to be divorced to get a custody order with child support.

If he's doing drugs around te baby and drinking and driving with the baby, she should call CPS.

She can get child support before she files for a divorce. She needs to contact the Child Support Agency for her county. She should also contact county Social Services and ask about Legal Aide.

If he is bringing that child home and driving drunk and high she needs to do something. Take down his license number and call the police after he leaves and ask them to pull him over. Explain to them he just dropped off my child and seems drunk or high. If she doesn't do this and he is caught under the influence with the child in the car, she could get into trouble with CPS. They may think she is using bad judgment allowing her child to be with him. If he is found to be a substance abuser she may be able to get 100% custody with only supervisied visitation. All states are different but here in Wisconsin child support is taken directly out of their check whether it's a paycheck or an unemployment check.

Also she does not need to supply him with items for the baby. If he wants to be a parent then he needs to man up and go buy a crib and bedding, clothes, shoes, diapers, wipes, baby food, bottles and formula; and what ever else the baby will need. My daughter drops her son off with his dad with only the clothes on his back. If he wants him he buys what the child needs.

You do not have to be divorced to get child support. You also cannot squeeze blood out of a turnip. She needs to evaluate how much an attorney will cost and how much will that cost get her.

Regardless she needs to work out a custody agreement.

I lived in CO and have a friend who got a divorce there. You don't have to be divorced to start receiving child support. Also, CO is one of those states that enforce 50/50 custody (still doesn't mean he wont pay any child support) except if she can prove that he's unfit. She can take pictures of make videos of her child when she pics him/her up. Good luck to your friend.

Tell her to go to the district attorneys office and file for child support! He has to pay. They will make sure of it. Then maybe she will be able to afford a divorce.
hth

Custody and support are two separate matters. Support is paid by both parents for the care of the child. One parent is known as the primary custodial parent when joint custody is at issue. Smoking weed (which is illegal) should be enough to get her full custody and require him to have visitation. She could call in CPS and get them involved. She should immediately stop the visitation. Document the things that are going on with the child via video.

Honestly she can't afford to not have legal representation. She needs to do what she can to get up the money to get an attorney. She needs to stop making excuses and get hopping on money making ideas even if it is selling cupcakes, or coffee, or fried fish or babysitting kids, or what ever skills she may have to earn extra money. She needs to do that. In the meantime stop sending her kid over to the father's and drag his sorry butt into court for custody and support until the divorce is finalized.

Can't speak for your area but child support can be established prior to a divorce being finalized (or at least it could be in DE when my ex and I first split). She can go file for custody and child support which can be established (even if just temporarily) prior to a divorce. Family court likes to see couples work things out but also realize that children must be cared for in the mean time so they are ok setting up custody and support first because not all couples end up divorcing.

First of all if the dad is this bad i wouldnt let him have the kid alone. He'd be at my home for visitations with me watching.
A contested divorce can be around $10,000 or more.
An uncontested divorce probably $500 or so.
Divorce is costly an time consuming when you dont agree.
I'm there right now and at the $8,000 mark. We still are not divorced and its been 3 1/2 months since i filed.
She can get temp orders which is what i have right now and that covers everything. She needs to get a lawyer. i spent about $2000 on them, but they were worth it.
Im in AZ.
Also my ex said he wanted 50/50, but when it came down to it being formal and written on paper, he changed his mind. Too much for men like that.