After several attempts at trying to make our marriage work, my husband and I have decided to seek a divorce. I have no clue as to what is the process and what the first thing I should do is. We have children, and I will seek primary custody. Also, I would like to remain in our house, but don't think I could afford it on my own. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Get a lawyer. One that will advocate for you. Not necessarily out to get blood, but mean enough to see that you are not shafted. Because as nice as your husband seems now about the seperation, once money is involved, there will be claws coming out.
Get a lawyer ASAP!!!!
Good luck,
L.
If the two of you are civil do an uncontested divorce. I personally gave my ex the house because I felt if I was going to start over I was going to it 100%. I found a wonderful rent house in our area and I love it. There is no maint. or upkeep except the yard. I know a house seems important to keep the kids stable but if he is still in it they still ahve it and you have a lot less stress. I hate going into my ex's house just to many memories but I love to come home to my wonderful new house. Just a suggestion.
The first step is to see an attorney. Legal Aid can help you if you can not afford one. Then if you haven't already, get a separate checking account and start inventory on bills and financial assets. As for staying in your house if you can't afford it (even with child support) - you need to start looking for another place to live. Divorce hurts emotionally and financially.
S.
Hi A.,
There are lots of options, but the first thing probably is to talk to a lawyer. As a family lawyer, the biggest concern is how to make this transition as easy as possible for your family. I am a member of a collaborative group of lawyers, www.necollab.com and we all are trained in collaborative law. My firm's website is www.dsclawfirm.com. Feel free to give my office a call and ask for myself or my paralegal and we will waive the $100 consult fee.
Take care,
K. Smith ###-###-####
If you and your husband are on reasonable terms, you might want to speak to a mediator as well as an attorney. The legal system is of course set up as a me vs. you system, where in mediation, the goal is a solution that works for all parties. In this case, that should include the children. As a child of divorce, I will ask that you do your best to have frequent visitation (we had every weekend), that you live 1/2 hour or less from your ex for ease of visitation, child care help, etc., that he be included in all holidays, including his birthday (we celebrated dad's birthday at my grandparents house, which was nice), try not to make your kids feel like they're being dumped on the other parent so the parent can have "freedom". It's a balancing act, but will pay off if you can do it. I've heard of people that had the kids stay in the home, and the parents rotated. If there's enough room, maybe that would work. Your ex could stay at the house on the weekends and you could have a weekend away, at a friends, hotel, etc. Much cheaper than your own place.
I wish you luck and I'm sorry things are tough. I hope it works out for the best for everyone.
I called several atty's in my area. Got one with a "free" consultation and went from there.
if it's uncontested, it's WAY cheaper and only ONE of you has to show up at court.
I would suggest selling the house if you can't afford it and dividing the profits between the two of you. Texas doesn't give out alimony usually so, child support owuld be your only other source of income and that's if he pays it.
Good luck...this isn't going to be easy.
