Do I Ask the Widow for $ to Replace My Keys?

gosh I don't think I could ask for the money. I J. imagine the mess I;d be if I was in her sittuation. I wouldn't even mention it and J. live with one set. I wouldn't want to make her freak out and search all over over keys. I'm poor so I don't say this lightly. I understand the cost to replace the keys is a lot. I'd J. be glad my family was still all healthy and not be able to put more strain or worry on her. Any other sittuation I;d say ask for the money or keys, but friend or not, she lost her husband, and her ids lost their dad.

Her life is totally upside down right now. She lost her hubby, moved, has kids and grief to deal with, changing schools, find a job and everything she owns is in a box somewhere. Even if she doesn't say thank you she appreceitates everything you are doing for her.

On a daily basis she deals with grief, dispair, shock, sorrow, lonliness...

Give her time to unpack and find the keys.

I know because I've bveen there -- done that.

Wow, sounds like she has been under a huge amount of stress! I misplace things on a daily basis without the stress of having lost a spouse and relocating with three kids. I would give her a little more time to find them. Definitely let her know you need them but try to be understanding. You did a very kind thing already, you are just being asked to extend the kindness a little longer. We need more people like you in the world.

You were very generous in offering this in the first place. If it were me, I would let her know I checked on the cost of the replacement keys and its $225 but you are *hoping* she is going to find the missing set and to please let you know as soon as she does. That way, you have told her the cost, have let her know that you do need them, and that you are hoping its a priority that she finds them. If she doesn't find them and doesn't offer to pay for replacement, I would let it go and know that you will be repaid in another way by Karma for your good deed later. =)

Unless I were in a situation where not having a spare set of keys was a huge problem (we've had many cars where we only had one set and it was never a big deal) or paying the replacement cost was a financial burden, I would just let it go and trust that karma would come back and bless me in some other way. The way my life works is that as soon as I forked over money to have the spare set made, she'd find the other ones!

nice thing for your to do. I would call her and ask her to look for them asap as you need them and that they are over $200 to replace. See if she finds them then. If not....I would just drop it.

I would wait it out. My friend gave me a Mercedes last year and finally found the extra set when she was doing some Spring cleaning a month or two later. This woman is in chaos right now and is surely feeling the pressure.

I understand about not wanting to only have one set but if it comes down to it and you lose the keys you can cross that bridge then. If you have AAA or some other roadside assistance then you really don't need the extra set if you lock yours in the car just in case you misplace yours.

If you truly don't want to wait it out then pay for them yourself.

I would call her and say I know that you are completely overwhelmed by things right now, but you really need your keys! You just found out that to replace them will be about $225 dollars! Tell her that you really can't afford to pay that and would appreciate if she could locate the keys and get them to you asap. Let her sit with the amount in her head and see what she says. Or at the end of conversation say, what do you think WE should do about this???

Why would she ship her own van and then need one to drive?? I'm sure the shipping costs were high! Also, If she drove the van to the drop off point and she didn't leave the keys, where would she have put them? In her purse or pocket of course! So why are they now in a box? Something just doesn't seem right to me, BUT- she is going through a ton of stuff. Ssooo, if she is anything like me and for some reason always puts off mailing stuff because, well, idk, hate writing out envelopes, going to the post office to have it weighed, etc, the best thing you can do for her at this point is send her a bubble wrap envelope, pre-addressed to you and postage paid. That way, when she finds them (probably already knows where they are), she can just drop them in and stick them in the box and be done. No stress, no remembering, no 'add it to the list', etc.( The padded envelope so keys dont poke a hole and the PO can give you an estimate of cost or direct you about prepaid envelopes)

Don't play the martyr. :)

While her situation is tough, the only dilemna I saw in your post is whether her loss of husband is reason enough to not pay debts. No, it is not.

However....I would wait a good 3-4 months. Let her get her feet on the ground and unpacked. Then I'd call and let her know that you're getting ready to call for a replacement, at $225 - has she found them yet.

If she offers to pay - problem solved. If not, then the last thing I would say in that phone call would be to directly ask "Would you send me a check to cover the cost of the new keys?". And then go from there.

ooh man!! what a tough situation to be in.

I would try the PC route (yes, I can be PC!!) and let her know that you have called GM (or whoever makes your car) and that it will be $225 to replace the set - please look for them.

Other than that - I would pony up the money if she can't find them in say two weeks.

Have YOU called her yet?

I would call her and ask her directly for the keys, not through a mutual friend. If she knows the cost... she may be a little quicker in looking for a replacement. I would call her and let her know that you contacted the dealership and it will cost $225 to replace the keys, which you would rather not pay. Ask her to look for the keys and return them to you immediately. She SHOULD offer to replace the keys. If she does, offer to split the cost if you feel guilty about asking her to contribute. If she doesn't, replace the keys (because you really need a spare set) and chalk it up to a "lesson learned"... don't loan your expensive assets to someone you don't know!

I understand that she's probably pretty overwhelmed right now, but it's incredibly irresponsible on her part to misplace someone else's keys. You can't just take them to Home Depot... car keys are NOT house keys.

I would give her a week or so, then I would ask her if she has been able to locate them. Letting her know that you have checked on the replacement cost and it is $225. Give her a reasonable amount of time to unpack her suitcases before you call a 2nd time, and ask: "hey, have you been able to locate the keys yet? I am really uncomfortable waiting any longer to have my 2nd set back." If she hasn't found them and doesn't offer to pay the cost (or part of the cost?) of replacing them, then I would drop it and decide if it is worth it to YOU to pay the $$ for an extra set. Do you really NEED the 2nd set, or is it just for peace of mind?

My car has 3 keys. One for me, one for my husband and a spare for "valet" or "service". Same with my husband's car. Also, today's vehicles typically come with a key code tag (a little tiny metal tag with numbers printed on it) that you can have additional keys made from. Is the cost you were quoted from using that keytag, or without it? There may be a difference in cost depending on if you have that, or not.

ETA: also, you might try calling a locksmith for a price quote. They might be able to do it for less than the dealership.
http://www.superpages.com/supertips/car-key.html

To those of you questioning the cost of a replacement key--that's pretty standard replacement costs for vehicles nowadays (don't lose your keys and learn the hard way!). They have computer chips in them for locking and unlocking, and the way they are cut is not something that can be done at Home Depot. They have to be made by the manufacturer, and you have to give VIN-specific info for it to be made.

And yes, she can "get by" with one set--but what if that set gets lost?

The lady borrowed the truck and the expectation is when you borrow something from someone, you return it in the same condition it was left to you. That includes keys to open and run it! If you lose or break something that belongs to someone else, you fix the issue.

I'm sorry she is a widow, but that has nothing to do with responsibility--is she going to be able to skate by things in the future with this "excuse"? If she thinks it's somewhere in her belongings, great--let her know you need her to make finding them a priority, and how much they cost to replace.

I'd give her some time and if there is a tactful way to either bring it up or maybe she will, let her know that they replacement cost is $225. The reason I mention this is she may be thinking it's not that big of a deal time and moneywise to replae it. I know I was shocked to find out how expensive replacing these are when one of them died.

How long ago did she use the truck? I would give some time for her to unpack and find them. Consider asking for the reimbursement if she can’t find them (although she may offer to pay if she can't find them).

I had only one key on my last car and never had a problem. I have two keys for my current vehicle and I have never needed the second one.

Thank goodness you have a spare! I would definitely give her some time to find them. Perhaps, when she settles in more. From time to time I would remind her about it.

If I were you, I would give her some time to see if she can find them. Let her know that if she does, you would really appreciate her sending them because the replacement is very expensive. I don't think I'd ask her to pay for the replacement, given her recent circumstances, but do let her know that even if it takes a while, you would like to have them back whenever she comes across them.

I only have one key for my car too. I keep the "button" in a different place so if I lock my keys in the car, I still have a way to get in.

You were very kind to help her like you have. She must be under a lot of stress and maybe misplaced the keys.

If it were me, I would let her know I needed the keys and ask her to check around for them, knowing full well I may not get them back.

In the meantime, I would pay the price to get an extra set of keys. I know it is picey but just do it. You've been so kind to her.

We had to replace hubby's keys to his Mercedes because his briefcase was stolen when he was out of town and his keys were in the briefcase. What a hassle... $375 to disengage the stolen key and get a new key made.

If I were in your shoes, I'd give her time to find them. They've gotta be there and she'll get through all of her stuff eventually, right?
You do have a set (i know it's nice to have spares, but truthfully I haven't had my 'spare' set off the hook for about a year now.

IF she can't find them, I would think she's offer to replace them right?

It's only been a week and she's moving in -- solo -- with 3 kids. She KNOWS they're yours and she KNOWS she needs to make every and any effort to find them & get them back to you (referencing the conversation someone had with her about the keys). Sometimes it's tough to sit tight and wait. To keep asking or having other people ask would be a little over the top--unless MANY months have passed and NO communication from her.

Sometimes the best action is to do nothing and see what happens.
I feel like this is O. of those times.

Good luck!

Stop going through mutual friends and call her yourself. Let her know that you didn't receive the keys and really need them back. Mention that the cost for replacing them is $225 and ask when she'll be able to get your keys back to you or replace them. Really put on your big girl pants and deal with it.

First, don't refer to her as "the widow". That is extremely insulting and heartbreaking. You can describe her as one when you said she lost her husband, but no need to go farther than that. My mom is a widow, and one thing she hates more than anything is to be stripped of her womanhood to be referred to regularly as 'the widow'. That sounded a lot harsher than I intended it to be!

Now, just give the woman a call and ask for her to send you your keys when she finds them, or ask her to chip in to the replacement rate. Give her a little bit more time, she's likely still living out of boxes and grieving at the same time. However, I don't think this is something you are obligated to give up for free.

Maybe she could write the replacement cost off as a moving expense?

I don't find it unreasonable for you to ask for her to take care of the replacement. Her situation notwithstanding, would you ask for them to be? If so, ask in this situation too. Let her know that you understand her situation, that you have no problem giving her time to get settled and unpacked so that she may locate them again, but do let her know that you will need them replaced. It seems a very generous thing that you did to loan the vehicle with no payment, it seems like a bad deal that you will now incur an expense. To me, if she was a good enough friend to accept the car, she should be willing to replace the keys.

I am kind of confused as to why you have to replace the keys or why it cost so much. I get it if you have a Honda, lord those are crazy expensive keys but most of the time a key is only a couple bucks. I tend not to worry about it until I am down to my last spare.

Now if you are talking about re-keying the locks that is crazy overkill and no she should not be asked to pay for it. I wouldn't even ask someone if they lost one of my overpriced Honda keys but I am nice like that. :)

Oh and Honda wants 180 a key but the locksmith does the same thing for 40, you may want to look into that.

I would wait and see

It is no small amount of money, but my advice is to let it be. If you can, hold off on ordering a new spare set, she may find them! Or try ordering an "after-market" set (not from your dealer) which would be cheaper.
You did a kindness.... it will not go unnoticed.

All the best to you!

If you're close enough to lend her your vehicle you're close enough to ask her about the set of keys she has not returned to you. Don't go through mutual friends, details get distorted.

Unless you guys worked out an agreement before hand about who would cover expenses if certain things happened I'd say leave it be and don't ask for the money.

Hi, Krista:

Call your friend/associate and review what was discussed in the initial conversation about the use of the truck and key solution.

Hear what she says.

Share with her that the replacement for the keys will be $225.00.

Ask her what she suggests to get the keys replaced.

See what she says and go from there.
Good luck.
D.

She may be getting insurance money from husband's death--let her pay you... When volunteering something you should not come out less than whole.

I would give her x time to find them. Then maybe split the cost of the replacement keys.

I kind of see it this way. If you loaned the truck and she dented the door, would you ignore it or would you work out some sort of payment? She essentially did damage your truck by losing the keys. I would work something out with her directly. Get her contact info. You trusted her with your property. When I backed into a neighbor I could've just pretended it didn't happen (no damage to my car) but that wouldn't have been right. I paid for their new bumper to the tune of $500 and they worked with me on making a couple of payments. I didn't have a lot of money at the time, but I still owed them for damages.

I suggested splitting the cost because maybe that will satisfy both the sticker shock and your guilt over asking a widow for the money. Tell her you get where she is with the recent loss and move, but you really need your keys. I also would tell her the cost because I agree - maybe it hasn't occurred to her that they are $200 keys.

I don't understand. It's $225 to replace some keys??? Why?? If you have a spare set can't you just go to Home Depo and make a copy for $5?
L.