Do I Really Need to Wait Six Weeks?

Updated on July 30, 2008
M.B. asks from Occoquan, VA
18 answers

Well, my daughter is now 2 1/2 weeks old, and I had a regular vaginal delivery luckily with no tearing down there. Anyway, everywhere I try to find this information, it is always the same- "no sex until 6 weeks after delivery". I'm feeling great (also, I'm very much WANTING to). So I was wondering, is six weeks just the "safe" answer, or do we actually NEED to wait that long? How long did you all wait until you resumed sexual activity? Anyone BEFORE six weeks? Thanks.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses! One response that seemed to be consistent with all of you was the fact that it won't feel as good as normal. That will probably keep us at bay for a little while(The possibility of infection doesn't sound too fun)We've been "messing around" as well, and that is actually a lot of fun- it's just hard afterward if you know what I mean:) Well, thanks again. It really is nice to be interested in that after a baby, isn't it? I'm surprised myself, trust me!

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I didn't wait quite that long with either of my girls. I had several docs tell me just to wait till i was no longer bleeding or having any pain. I don't think there's anything magical about 6 weeks - just a general guideline. Have fun:)

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J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

6 weeks was like a vacation! We were both so pooped that we didn't even think of sex for the first two months!

Anyways, six weeks is best to let everything heal down there, prevent pregnancy, and prevent infection.

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D.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi Rebecca,
Well CONGRATS to you for having the energy to want to have sex! Although you should wait the 6 weeks, like others stated you don't really need to but you are susceptible to getting pregnant quicker (had a friend who had a baby in Jan, was BF that baby and is now expecting twins in a few months!) since everything is still 'open' and you could run the risks for more bleeding if your still 'healing' from the birth. Just take it slow and best of luck.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, you might know your body better since this isn't your first child. But for whatever it's worth, i'd wait the 6 weeks. You never get that time back and if something goes wrong, you'll have to wait longer. Better to have no complications down there. For me, I had mine in March and our sex life is just now starting to get painless and fun.

M.J.

answers from Dover on

Hi Rebecca!

We only waited a couple of weeks also after a normal vaginal delivery (I did have a few stitches, though so we just took it really slow). After my c-section we waited a bit longer, but just take your time & have fun!

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B.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I waited 3 weeks and had no problems! Sounds like you're ready to me. Just remember: YOU CAN GET PREGNANT BEFORE YOUR 6 WEEK CHECK UP!!!!!!!! Lol!!
Congratulations on you baby girl, and on actually wanting to have sex already!!

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P.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I don''t know that many women who do wait the full six weeks. I will warn you that at my friend's six week check-up she found out she was 3 weeks pregnant. So if you are going to do it, be safe. My friend thought she was safe because it was so soon after delivery and she was nursing. She now has two three year olds who aren't twins.

Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

No you don't need to wait 6 weeks. My BFF is a nurse and she said almost 90% of their patients say that they have resumed sex when they come in for their 6 week check up. I myself did not have the energy or desire for months afterwards so good for you!!!!

Congratulations on your precious new soul!!!!

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey there and CONGRATULATIONS on your Baby Girl! I have a 10 week old daughter and also had a regular delivery with no tearing. After a couple of weeks I was also ready to resume things with my husband, especially since I was so gigantic at the end of the pregnancy that it had been awhile.....BUT at around 3 1/2 weeks I had some massive bleeding and it turned out part of the placenta had not come out during delivery. Luckily it resolved itself, but it did mean that I was still open to infection. From what I understood from my Dr the 6-week wait was to make sure everything inside is completely healed. Sex, tampons, anything, could cause an infection before you are healed - and I can't imagine a worse place to get an infection! Or a worse time - you don't want to be sick with a newborn! So yes, even though it can be frustrating, it is worth it to wait the 6 weeks and get the OK at your check-up before starting up again. And the time does go by really fast.... ;-)

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My OB told me to wait until after the first regular cycle.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

No, you don't need to wait six weeks. My husband and I were ready at 2 - 3 weeks, too. (We did some research on-line and actually got the ok from our OB at our 2 week post natal visit.) Enjoy!

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

You know your body best. It is an average they give you for normal healing time. If you didn't have complications and feel fine then go ahead. I heard of many people having sex really early. I had really bad tearing, so I waited.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

I spoke with my doctor, and she said that sex is fine whenever you feel ready. I did it at 3 weeks, and I'll admit I was pretty sore. But we went slow, used a lot of lubricant (nursing can make you pretty dry), and kept a good sense of humor about the whole thing. It was ok, though it took a while before it felt really good again! :)

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B.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I have four kids, ranging from 18mos to 11yrs, and I only waited the six weeks with my first. And then only because my husband was military and out to sea! The others were all around the 4week mark I seem to think. I always wanted to do it well before hand and also wanted to make sure we did it at least a couple of times before going back for my 6week checkup just in case there was a problem. Just take it SLOW the first time and make sure you are well lubricated. Also, keep in mind that pregnancy is a possiblilty at this time...my college roommate found that out the hard way! ;)
Good luck and your husband/marriage will be blessed for being ready to get back into action so soon!

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Your vaginal tissues have been stretched in giving birth. They need to rest and heal. That is the reasoning behind the 6weeks abstinence. I would wait. Have you asked your doctor? AF

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Wow, my son is 10 weeks old and I am just now getting the desire to even think about sex again, lol. Right now hubby and I are having fun just "playing around"...its like when we first got together 6 years ago. My two biggest hesitations are the fear of getting pregnant again (even with birth control and breastfeeding) but also that it will hurt (I had a 2nd degree tear but was told at my 6 wk post partum visit that my stitches were gone and I was completely healed).

I say if you are up to it, try. Go slow, use lots of lube and unless you want to risk getting pregnant again so soon, make sure you use birth control!

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T.A.

answers from Washington DC on

Unless you've had tearing or an episiotomy that needed stitching, not waiting that long can be ok. Listening to your body is key.

Caveats:
You absolutely CAN GET PREGNANT if you don't use birth control. Yes, I know that breastfeeding is a mild form of birth control, but don't rely on it, especially if you're family's complete.

Pushing your beautiful daughter through an opening meant to routinely accommodate something along the lines of a cucumber causes internal wear and tear. The outside may look ok but the inner tissue is still healing (the inner tissue takes longer than the surface tissue does). You may feel ready, but it probably won't feel as good as it did until 6-8 weeks from your delivery day.

Always listen to your body and be on the lookout for new bleeding (especially bright red blood) or new abdominal pain before or after.

Use lots and lots of lubricant. Use lots and lots of humor and understanding.

And since you asked, I was ready at 5 weeks but it didn't feel good again until 10 weeks.

Good luck and God bless you!!

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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I felt the same way that you do with my son, I actually wanted to make love with my DH just hours afterward but he wouldn't let me because he was paranoid until it had been the full six weeks. It really is just a "safe" answer, plenty of women enjoy it before then if there is no tearing and they're feeling good about it. (Most of those women live in other countries though since we are so prone to believe that doctors know better than us here in America, which is my DH's problem.)

I would advise that you go slow the first few times and stop immediately if you feel any discomfort, then just enjoy each other without actual penetration.

Good for you, it's great to hear more women talk about feeling great and wanting it after having a baby. Good luck.

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