Do I Take It or Not?

If she has the class weekly or tomorrow, I wouldn't take it. I also wouldn't throw my husband under the bus.
I would talk to him and say, "I know you didn't know, but I told her she could, her teacher told her she could, so next time, feel free to call if you think she is trying to pull a "fast one" on you."
I would tell daughter when she cries about it. "Sweetie, don't worry about it. I didn't tell daddy and we just got confused. You can bring it next time."
It shows her that 1. mommies and daddies can make mistakes 2. models behavor of cutting people some slack 3. shows her that just because a moment passes, the experience isn't ruined (she can bring it another day).
beyond that is shows solidarity between you and the hubster.
Well, good luck with whatever you choose to do:)

No, I wouldn't take it to her. I would explain to your husband that you had already told her that she could take it. Then, you both should sit down with her tonight and tell her that you're sorry. Tell her that daddy didn't know that you had told her that she could take the book. Explain that she can take it to school next Monday.

I know what you mean about hubby not being able to pick battles. My hubby gets into unnecessary power struggles with our 5-year old all the time. While some things are not negotiable, some things really don't matter too much and it's not worth fighting over. He just doesn't get it though and he gets it in his head that he's going to "win."

I personally wouldn't take it. She can still take it tomorrow after you talk with your husband and find out why he told her no.

This is a little disappointment and if she can learn for it...then she will be better able to handle other disappointments as they happen. Life isn't always fair.

So my advice is to let her learn that mommy and daddy aren't always on the same page and that these things can happen. She will be better off in the long run and then you and your husband can discuss it before you speak with your daughter.

Oh, to add there are some books I will not let my son take to school with him. He is 6 and some days I can't even get his lunch box and water bottle home, much less an expensive book.

The trouble with your taking the book to school is that your daughter is learning the lesson, "If Daddy says no, Mama will do it anyway."

Stay on the same team, even if your husband (or you) make the wrong decision. This one isn't life or death, despite the tears.

You write that your husband didn't know you had already told your girl she could take the book. That's the clue to sit with your husband over a cup of coffee and work out a few procedures.

One would be to mention to one another in advance when this sort of thing is going to happen, so you'll both be up to date. "Honey, I told Elisa she could take the book tomorrow to show to her teacher. I've wrapped it up well and put her name on the wrapping. The teacher knows it's coming and will make sure the book gets in Elisa's backpack this afternoon." (First graders do need help with valuables.)

Another would be about double-checking with one another when something special is about to go to school: "Did your dad *really* say you could take his golf clubs to class? Let me just go check with *him* about it."

The third is somewhat the opposite side of the coin: "But Daddy already said you could *not* take the chain saw to school. Please don't think I'm going to reverse that! If you still want to take it, you'll have to talk to Daddy again tonight."

Really, if your husband is in a position to take it to her, HE should do it. He should also offer her an apology for not believing her when she said that "mommy said I could."

This is not your mistake to fix, it's your husband's.

I would. In my opinion you are not giving into a temper tantrum....it was a miscommunication between you and your husband. If you promised her she could take the book I would bring it in. Just tell her that daddy didn't know. I wouldn't make daddy look bad but I would make her happy in this case.
:)

No, explain when you get home that she can take it another day and that you and Daddy hadn't talked and he didn't know.
Running to her rescue after Dad said no is undermining him.
Let Dad in on your decisions, especially if he is in charge of her in the AM.

I would take it! If it were my son, I would tell him that Dad asked me to bring it because he was sorry and didn't know mom said it was okay.

My husband is also not good at choosing his battles...and he sounds like a nagging old lady sometimes :)

If the teacher did not specifically ask for books from home to be sent in, then there's not really a deadline and it doesn't have to be today. You could bring it with you when you pick her up, in case you run into the teacher. Then she can show it to the teacher with you there, or you can ask when would be a good day to bring it to share with the class. Or send it in her backpack the next day, but make sure that it is labelled with her name and has a note attached that explains why it's being sent. Sometimes kids bring in books to donate, so you'd want to be clear why it's being sent and when it should come home. You could tell your daughter that your husband just wanted to make sure the book was "ready" to go.

I let my son bring things from home, but I warn him that he might not get to show it. He has to keep it in his backpack because it could distract the other kids, interrupt the teacher's plan, and there's not enough time for them all to do show and tell every day. I try not to send anything valuable because in kinder on bring your favorite boardgame day, he told the teacher to keep his because he didn't need it anymore. In 1st grade, he brought in a sealed container of baby mosquitoes. Interesting science demo, but he did not get the reward of showing it because his behavior wasn't good enough that week. I'm still working on getting him not to promise to bring stuff(like snacks for the whole class) without telling me first.

If Dad takes the book with him in the AM I can see why he said no. No, I wouldnt go home and get the book. Explaining to daughter that you made a mistake by saying she could take it before knowing that Daddy had to take it would have been the better way to go. Get her her own spanish book if she wants one to share. I can see where Dad is coming from, a 6 yr old could easily lose the book and it would have had to have been replaced.

I would take it and if I couldn't I would let Dad appoligize tomorrow morning.

On the one hand, I've seen show and tell turn out well.
On the other hand, I've seen beloved toys, stuffed animals, books, etc lost, stolen and/or destroyed.
A lot depends on how expensive and important the book is and if you know the teacher will protect the book during the day and hand it back so it safely returns at the end of the day.
My son didn't have a locker till middle school so I'm not sure if you could drop it off with the office to deliver to her teacher, and I've known a few offices who could loose a lot of anything that's sent in.
It's first grade.
What's the rush?
Is it something for extra credit or a grade?
You can make arrangements for the book to be brought for a visit later on when the teacher is aware of it ahead of time.

YES!! Take it to her. How great that she cares so much to show a book to her teacher, and how WEIRD that your husband wouldn't let her take a book to school. I don't understand that at all.

I think you need to promote her caring so much about school, and take it to her.

And I think you should have a talk with hubby about lightening up.