I've been thinking a lot about my children growing. They are nearly 4 and 5, spring and summer babies. My eldest will be starting school this fall and she is absolutely titillated. My little one will hopefully be in daycare, as I plan on starting school in fall.
It's really crazy.
When I was pregnant I really hated the attention. It was like I had become public property and I didn't like it a bit. I did like when white haired grandmas would wink at me and say, "It goes by so fast", and then develop a nostalgic glaze. It's turned out to be more true than I could have imagined.
I love watching my children grow. I mean, there are days I am ripping out my hair, but those days are very worth the miracle of seeing their personalities develop. I just really like them and like who they are becoming. Both of them are really funny, quirky, interested, curious kids. Complete opposites, those two. They provide me with an incredible sense of playfulness and I've got to say, I think it keeps me more balanced. I can be a bit on the serious side without their shenanigans ;-)
But anyway. I guess I'm just feeling a little twinge of melancholy. I am excited for them to grow into adults and I'm also sad for myself that they won't be little forever. All things are temporary. I guess I just miss sitting underneath the window and kissing my newborn daughter's cheeks. Or the first time she smiled. Or how happy she was when she learned how to climb. When my niece was a baby, she used to eat best for me. I'd sit her in her high chair and spoon her yogurt. I love toothless baby laughs.
How is it for you? Do feel a little sad about your kids growing up?
Yes. They grow up way too fast. My youngest is 2-1/2 and the "babyness" is all gone. He's a little boy with a mind of his own. I'm thankful though for the opportunity to stay home and raise my kids. I am blessed:)
Exactly! My son will be 10 in June and my daughter will be 8 in July. I don't even want to talk about it! :(
I think it's "supposed to be" tinged w/a sense of melancholy so we enjoy & appreciate it.
That's what makes life so cherished: knowing it is fleeting.
I try not to think ahead. I try to take it 24 hours at a time.
I think every mom has felt this.
It makes me a bit sad for my mom.
Having said that, I want to give my son wings one day w/o having him feel guilty. I know it will be hard but it's HIS life & I want him to go live it the best way he can. I want him to fulfill HIS dreams, go do things that make HIM happy.
It's a double edge sword.
Just appreciate every moment.
Well... my kids *are* grown up! How did THAT happen? (But grandchildren are fun.)
We do know in the back of our heads that children are supposed to grow up. There would be something wrong if they didn't.
I think part of it is, of course, that we love our children. Another part is that we love our jobs. Basically, our job description is to put ourselves out of a job. There aren't too many careers like that (except, in some ways, teaching). And yet we love it.
And, of course, there is that quirky thing about time. It goes on, relentlessly, even when we're not looking, and that isn't anything we can control. Your children are starting to go to school... and my children are starting to turn grey!
So it does go by fast. And there's no rewind button. That's why it's best to pare down our "I only wish this or that were different" or "I'll be happy when..." thoughts. We need to enjoy our families right now, and do the best we can with our children in the time and circumstances we have today.
Oh my yes.. Our daughter is going to graduate from college in May.
I do not know how she got there so fast!
We are still good friends with many of her teachers all the way back to kindergarten and they are also surprised. They remember her curls, her laugh, her great sense of humor.
Last night I was showing my husband some photos of our daughter from her daycare with a pink hat and orange sunglasses. . A photo of her when she was 5 all dressed with a red hat and holding a huge bunch of flowers. and then then her birthday cake from when she turned 5. She wanted to be a "Ballerina Baker" when she grew up..
She is graduating as a double major.. still loves baking, but no Ballerina..
We are missing our baby girl, but so excited for her.
I just started a new business. My mom was here yesterday and gave me a huge hug and said. "I am so proud of you." I think she was also probably thinking back on her little girl.. even though I am 50..
I do, and I don't. I will miss them this little but am also really looking forward to meeting their big kid selves, young adult selves, grown up selves. Even their teenage selves (mostly :) ). I hear parents all the time say that they wish their kids could be babies, 18 months, 3, 5, etc., forever. The superstitious part of me would never wish that, because I have known parents whose children do remain those ages forever and it is the most heartbreaking thing in the world. I have always said that the only thing sadder than your kids growing up is if they never do. Literally, obviously, but also figuratively. So I try to cherish this time, but I also am really excited to meet the people they will turn out to be.
I am so blessed that I have grandchildren. They have given me that second chance with babyhood. But darn they grow up too fast too. The oldest one starts Junior High in the Fall.
There is nothing better than snuggling a newborn. Every now and then I need a fix.
I have this plaque hanging next to my grandchildren's pictures.
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait until tomorrow,
For Babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
oh yeah.
i think part of the beauty and wonder of it is that it IS such a fleeting thing, this raising of children. it consumes us, it's our lives' work on some levels, it involves us 100%, and yet the purpose is to put ourselves out of a job.
it's so wonderful. and yes, so sad. i totally get the melancholy. and i think it's a good thing, it keeps us present and grateful for what we're experiencing on any given day, even the hair-tearing days. obviously it's not healthy if one is wallowing and trying desperately to cling to each moment (i clutch my head at those parents who are so busy video-ing each moment of their kids' lives they're not actually participating in any of it), but that's so not you.
i don't know you, of course, but your posts are alway so lovely, thoughtful and wise.
:) khairete
S.
I think it's the most bittersweet thing to experience! My boys are 6 and 3, and I am VERY excited to get to the years before puberty but after pull ups, potty accidents and constant neediness. However, they are SO sweet at these ages. I just try to enjoy the good parts as much as possible and love on them as much as possible before they get to the "Awww Moooooommmmm stop it" stage!
I cherished the fact that a few weeks ago when I took my oldest's class some birthday cupcakes, he wanted me to stay and go to the library with them. He cuddled up in my lap and was so happy I was there. I know we'll always love each other, but they do turn into big, stinky boys who don't want their moms at school pretty quickly!
Right now I'm staring at our crib. I will be the first to admit I've "babied" our youngest a bit, but today the crib is coming down. We're either going to sell it or donate it, but the oldest got bunk beds for his birthday, and the youngest is going to have his old firetruck bed (although they both just want to stay in the bunks). I have no desire for more children. I think I would lose my mind, honestly, if I had to go through another pregnancy, the infant stages, etc. all over again, but I know I'm going to bawl when that crib leaves the house!
Absolutely, and I am having a VERY hard time with this right now, as my oldest will be turning 10 in a couple of weeks. I've been misty thinking back on her infancy and marveling at just how fast she's growing up.
I have two boys after her, and it seems they are growing up even faster than she did. My baby will be 3 YEARS OLD in August! I can't believe that.
I guess it just teaches us to not take anything for granted and enjoy every sweet, chaotic moment!
I think you stated the feeling beautifully and I wonder if maybe your cut out to taking care of more children? I could be completely off based, but I know both your questions and responses and they are both thoughtful and loving.
I know the feeling your describing, but I only get it around her birthday. I loved her babyhood, but don't want to go back. And I love her toddlerhood and preschool years, but I'm very comfortable with her starting Kindergarten.
I have no idea how common that is or isn't. I know I keep our lives slow. We're active, but I feel like I'm really with her, I haven't missed anything and I get my fill of each stage. I feel like we're walking together at a good pace and she's not out-running me yet. I don't know how that's going to feel when she does outrun or run away from me. (Figuratively and literally)
Yes, yes, yes. But now that they're adults I wished I wouldn't have felt that saddness because I should have gotten away from my feelings and just all the more spent time loving them and making it just joy all the time. I'm not saying to ignore the sad feelings but to be aware of them, acknowledge them and move on before ya waste more time. Children deserve a happy momma. Not saying you're not happy.
It's funny how nature is, it comes with joy and sad at the same time, we so love the babies and children and all their loveliness and want it to remain and yet we know it cannot and wouldn't really want it to, bc we know they need to grow and become adults and we wouldn't rob them of that if we could. It's all so sweet to love those precious babies and such joy when they laugh and sing and climb and run and say the cutest things. Just keep Loving them with all your might. "Sunrise, sunset, quickly go the days."
YES! And you just made it worse!! ;)
Every time I pick up one of my kids and hug them I take a deep breath and thank God they are still small enough for me to scoop them up and hold them.
Its going by way too fast. I dont know what I am going to do without myself when they are gone. They are my purpose. *Sniff*
Do I feel sad about my children growing up? No... I think they are ready for each new stage and phase and I am ready to see them fly. Every new stage is a step towards the future - and really, that's where it's at!
Does time fly? Absolutely.
Are there moments we wish would go quicker? Sure! Especially middle of the night stomach bugs, the blow out poopy diapers, and the learning how to drive... (I think the driving was the hardest thing ever!)
Was dropping my oldest at college bittersweet? Absolutely, but it was time for him to be there and now he calls his dorm room home -- which suits me just fine because there is far less laundry if the dorm room is home! LOL!
My youngest is looking for her college now. She is ready. It is time.
So do I feel sad? No.
Am I ready to see what comes next for them? You bet!
LBC
Sigh.
Yes, I do feel that way! I thoroughly enjoy every moment, including the challenging ones. It saddens me that some day they will be on their own...it's so hard to imagine at the ages of 4 and 7, but it WILL eventually happen. So, I am told that with each stage of their life as a child that there are new things to love and look forward to. And, by the time they reach the age to leave our nest, that we will be ready due to all of the natural stages that prepare us.
Sigh, again...LOL!
Very!
I have 3 'sets' of kids...
My husband has 2 kids (my stepsons who I have known since they were 5 & 3) who are now 20 & 17!
My 2 nephews who are now 16 & 12!
And having them first and watching them grow has been an eye opener for sure! ......It really does goes by in a blink of the eye!
Now that I have my own kids and they are now 8,6 & 4, I am easily reminded how quickly it goes and how just yesterday the 1st 'set' were their age and how now they are 20 & 17...absolutely makes me VERY melancholy!!
It's not fair!
I always feel guilty for not taking enough home movies!
Yes, I am really feeling that right now. One son is a sophmore in college. The other one will turn 18 this summer and heads off to another state for art school. He wants to live in a different climate, so he will always be far away.
Yes. I only have one and we are into the tweens. My favorite stage is 4-8.
Yes! I have one child, and she is going to be an only child. So, I get to do each stage only once, and some go way too quickly. I wish she could stay little a while longer, but I also enjoy watching her grow and all her new skills. I would've loved to keep her 3 for a few years (potty trained, somewhat verbal, but still some babyhood left). Sigh.
I don't because I was able to stay home her first two years and experience her growth and live vicariously through her daring adventures. Everyday brings with it an unexpected act, word, dance move, tantrum, etc. So, it's something to look forward to and also gives me that time to enjoy her as she grows and be a positive influence while she's still malleable.
