Don't Trust Anyone to Watch My Baby

I was the same way with the first and not so with the second. Although, I do not allow teenagers to watch my children and only trained daycare workers who know CPR to babysit. I finally realized that the people who watch my children do not want anything harmful to happen to my children and although they do not do things "my way", they are not necessarily bad caregivers. Let go and it will set you free. You need down time.

I know that feeling! You are right though, you are hurting some by not allowing your child to be left alone with them. Marriage is about husband and wife first so please take time for your relationship! You are not alone though it took a little bit of time for me to let go, but once I did I found out that it isn't so bad:)

I hear you. This is very normal. Nobody will ever do it just like you. But many people are capable of watching your child for 4 hours. Even over night. Your child will be fine, you are the one that needs the help. Have a glass of wine or go to a movie, put your phones on vibrate and enjoy each other. Especially in the evening, your child may cry for a moment or even for a while, but really she is going to sleep most of the time you are gone anyway.

Your child will go in stages with separation anxiety, so you are doing her a favor letting her experience being away from you guys. This is just like any other learning experience for your child, Do not deny her or those that have offered to watch her.

And guess what, it will continue that way all through your child's life.. In kindergarten they are fine, it is the parents sitting on the curb the first day of school crying.. In middle school parents think their child should be in private middle school, cause they do not want them around those other kids (bad, different?) but the kids do great and meet all kinds of people.. In High school they see the seniors with facial hair and over developed bodies and think my poor baby will be pulled into drugs and bad behaviors, but the kids that have good relationships with their families do just fine.

My little girl is almost 8 months old. It was a challenge, and still is, but you HAVE to leave her with others. They are beginning to get to the separation anxiety age, and if you don't start leaving your baby with other people, he/she is going to have an even MORE challenging time. You husband needs to be your NUMBER ONE priority. The best thing you can model for that little baby is that your relationship with him is secure. I know it's hard, but let friends watch that baby for a short time, like during a wake time. Good luck!

I understand not trusting anyone to care for your child the way you do. You're right. The only one that will care for your child the way you do is you...not even your husband or your mother. I do feel that it is hurtful that you don't trust your in-laws with your child. They may not have the parenting style you care for; but they raised the man you feel in love with and chose to marry. Shouldn't they get a little credit for that?

Start slow and take baby steps. Is there a teen in the area that you trust? If so, maybe invite them over to be a parent helper from time to time so you can get things done and still have your child entertained. Once you have trust in your sitter, leave to go fill up the car or go get your hair/nails done.

It will be okay. You will drive yourself and everyone around you insane if you start thinking about the what if's and put a bubble around your child. Your child can sense your uneasiness with a sitter and that makes your daughter uncomfortable and feel like something is wrong.

Good luck & keep us posted!

This is totally normal but let me tell you it needs to stop. You will get a case of burn out like nobody's business if you are not careful. It is sneaky. Start small, leave her with Dad to do the grocery shopping and other errands at first. Then move up to having one of the in-laws come to your house to watch her while you go out with hubby. Then you will not have to worry about the baby-proofing as she is in her own environment. Good luck to you. Baby steps...

It seems like we are wearing the same shoes. Although I am not a stay at home mom, my 7 month old son can only stay with the baby sitter (my aunt) and my mother. My mom would like to have him more and even try overnights at times but I love to have him with me especially at night because that's when he nurses the most. I understand your feeling of, "no one does it as good as mom," but I'm learning that in order to prepare him for daycare and associate him with others, if I don't start now it will be that much harder for him to cope with being left at school. He is already afraid and cries when someone holds him that he doesn't recognize (stranger anxiety to the max), and I'm right there with him. Just ease into it, a few hours a day and increase it as time goes on until you both are comfortable.

Well I hate to break it to you but no will do it as good as you but they will still be able to do well enough for you to leave for a few hours. Start by doing a short trip. You'd be surprised at how well grandparents do. Your husband turned out fine and they will probably be more attentive to your 7 month old. It took me a while to be able to leave my son, he's now 7 and sometimes I still have trouble but for you to ever be able to go anywhere you have to let someone else step in and help you out. If you don't feel comfortable yet with the inlaws watching your child ask a neighbor or friend that has kids and start there. Plus it's good for your child to get used to being around other people without you being there. This will help prepare them for school when it comes time nad will help with their social skills. Good Luck and remember to breath.

I was the same way with my first one. The only one I really trusted was also my mom. However, when we went back to NY to visit my parents and in-laws (they live 10 minutes away from each other), my husband MADE me stay at my parents house 24 hours by myself while he and my daughter (who I think was about 4-5 months at the time)slept over my in-laws. I didn't want to do it at first because they are totally different than my family (very loud, let the kids eat whatever, not strict on naptimes, etc.), but I did. I was stressed a little for half the time, by morning I felt better. She was totally fine and I was supposed to have my day of "relaxation" (baby-free). It gets easier over time. You just need to do things like that more often. Now I'm on my 3rd, and my husband and I are going away this summer for 5 days. We're flying my parents in to stay with the kids, the only thing I'm worried about now is if my parents can handle them. It'll definitely get easier. If you don't spend time away from your kids once in awhile they will get VERY klingy and have separation anxiety. That's exactly how my niece is with my sister who won't ever leave her with anyone. My niece doesn't leave my sisters side ever (even at birthday parties), and she just turned 7yrs. old. Hope this helps you in some way. Good luck!

Don't worry! You will feel comfortable leaving her when the time is right. Just follow your instinct. It is OK to not want to be away from your baby.

I am right there with you on this one. My daughter is 10 months old and has been watched 1 time for about 3 hours when I had a yard sale. I do not feel comfortable with my mother or anyone else really for that matter to watch her. My mother in law is the one I'd call if there was an emergency bc she is very attentive and also was a stay at home mother. My mom, while I've been visiting has tried to bathe my daughter in perfume smelling soaps from bed bath and body workrks. Not following any feeding schedule, trying to feed her 2 bottles in a row instead of any real food. The way I see it is, this is your child, and if YOU as a parent do not want people watching your baby and you are able to stay with the baby- do it. It is your job as a PARENT to see what's best for your child. Don't feel alone! There's more of us out there than we like to think :) keep up the good work mommy

Hello I totally know what your going through. When i first had my baby girl no one was good enough to watch her,not my hubby, not even my own mother! But eventually you have to trust people or at least family. Your hubby does not want anything bad to happen to your baby im sure so that needs to loosen up, becuase it could become a problem in ur relationship. Evne if u dont start trusting ur friends trust ur mother more. she showed u that she could handle ur daughter while u were at a wedding. If u cant do it for ur hubby and mother do it for urself. You will need a break sometime. I hope everything goes well. if u ever need to talk please dont hesitate to write me.