Mamas & Papas-
This one is fairly new for us. I think I've seen it in other kids, but I can't recall. I know I've seen my girlfriend do this, but she's an oddball in a number of ways, so I don't want to use her as a benchmark.
DS, who is nearly three has started trying to anticipate and finish my words, thoughts and sentences. Maybe its a way of practicing speech, maybe its a way of showing off, maybe its just a quirk. By way of example, I might say, "put your socks" and then we say in unison "away in the hamper."
Sometimes it doesn't quite work out that way, because frankly, he's three and not a mind reader. Should I let him carry on like this for a bit, or should I start teaching him that it is important to wait his turn and that he can't both listen and speak at the same time etc.
Thanks in advance,
F. B.
At three, it's cute. But at 5, it's disrespectful. What you allow at three will be what he does at 5.
I'm in the same camp as Christy Lee, just make sure you aren't accidentally cueing him to 'chime in'. Sometimes parents do that with an expectant, encouraging look, so that kids do think they are invited to finish the sentence or say it together (esp if you've gotten into a routine with it). Do correct when necessary "Oh, I'm not done telling you where to put X... you must wait for me to stop talking, then you can talk."
If it becomes increasingly challenging, I'd encourage you to use a 'talking stick' or some tangible device for determining when it is his turn to talk. And be sure to model this. I've noticed that my husband will often start talking to me while my son is and I've really had to address this with both of them. So, be sure you are practicing as parents what you want him to do, too.
This is normal, but rather disrespectful behavior. You simply have to teach him to wait.
When my boys did this, I immediately stopped talking and gave "The Mom Look." I then said, "Excuse me. It is rude to interrupt me when I'm speaking. Don't do that again, or you'll be spending some time in the chair thinking about it."
Another rude and disrespectful thing that usually follows this behavior is a child turning and walking away from you before you have finished giving your instructions. Don't allow this either. Nip it in the bud as soon as you see it.
Disrespectful body language is just as bad as disrespectful speech.
I wouldn't worry. I'd say "Please let me finish". Maybe sometimes mix it up and say something ridiculous so he's not right and you can remind him to listen.
It depends. Is his tone that of someone internalizing what he anticipates the instruction to him is going to be? (Like thinking out loud: "I need to ____") Or is it mocking you?
It makes a difference. If he is trying to figure out what you want/what he needs to do.. then it could be a great thing! He's internalizing expectations for himself. If he is mocking you, or cutting you off b/c he thinks he smarter than you or that you talk too slowly or something, then I would correct his approach.
To me, it shows that he knows what he's supposed to do and it's also language building. I wouldn't worry too much, but I agree that if it continues, he needs to be guided to waiting his turn. Not so much because of manners, although that is definitely part of it. But also because when he gets to school he may think he knows what the teacher is going to tell them to do and he may start doing that when the teacher actually wants something else. He won't be listening to her instructions if he thinks he already knows what to do.
Tell him "God gave you two ears, but only one mouth so you could listen twice as much as you talk."
If you're saying things in a sing-song sort of voice he may not really realize what he is doing - he may just be joining in as he would to a familiar song or nursery rhyme that he's heard over and over. Kind of like an "ooh, I know this one!" game. But if it seems more like interrupting speech then yeah, I'd work to curb it. I like Nervy Girl's 'talking stick' idea.
At 3, it's cute. Let it be. /At least he's trying to mirror your words and not oppose them.
I have a 50 year old friend who does this and it drives me nuts. And I think when I'm speaking to her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you to wait your turn?"
I think it's cute that he is listening so attentively that he can even anticipate what you will say next. My bet is it's just a language processing phase. But if it goes on for too long, then please teach him start waiting, so that he doesn't carry the habit out of the home.
Sometimes children "aim to please" by trying to show you that they know what they are supposed to do (even though they haven't done it yet). Like you say "you really need to..." while looking at the socks, and DS says "oh yes yes, I should drop those into the hamper". It's one way that a child can try to avoid parent saying "I've told you that so many times." DS can try to make it seem like you did not have to tell him, he just hadn't gotten to it yet.
I'm thinking that is what's going on here...but it can be hard to interpret DS's meaning without hearing him say it in context.
My kids both did this. It is one way to show their knowledge and increase it. Anticipatory actions show they are thinking ahead. You don't want to discourage your child, but think about how this behavior will go over when he is 6 or 8 or 10 and then gently guide him toward behavior that is acceptable. For example "away in the hamper." might be something that is acceptable at any age because it is a family tradition/saying/way of bonding. But constant anticipation of what you are going to say will become a problem.
These kinds of things happen over the course of development. Right now my oldest is in a "Don't you mean _____." and correcting me when I say something. That got old FAST, but gentle correction is fixing it.
