Emotionally Struggling Today... Actually Seems like Every Day. Any advice?(LONG)

I barely watch tv anymore and I grew up on watching a lot of tv. I was watching those Housewives shows and Jersey Shore and stuff and I was angry watching them and feeling bad about myself. I only watch motivating stuff now, helpful shows on how to improve my life with the occasional movie. All I hear is kids shows all day, and I am lucky if I watch one 30 minute show a day. I don't even listen to the news very often.

Sounds like you have imbalanced hormones. Maybe seeing a doctor would help who specializes in hormones.

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/depressi...

I'm tempted to post the link again, just to underscore it.

This runs in my family, apparently as a dominant gene, since ALL the women in my family get antepartum depression. It's so "normal" in my fam that even though at least a 1/3 are practicing medical types, it wasn't until MY generation that we sort of collectively went "Oh. Oh yeah. Huh. That makes sense, doesn't it? Well, that makes things easier!!!"

As far as the other lifestyle stuff.. I'm not even going to touch that right now, because I don't think it's pertinent to what's going on. If it's still bugging you AFTER seeking treatment, though, I'll chime in.

Antepartum Depression.

Talk with your OB about it.

Okay, first, find a working remote, you need to stop watching TV shows that disturb you so much. Second, have this conversation with your husband.

Oy. Pregnancy hormones will make you nutty and paranoid.

Please turn off the TV. No more reality TV for you.

I would head to the library and pick out some good, encouraging books to read. Make some tea or cocoa and a bowl of popcorn. Take a walk (exercise releases HAPPY endorphins).

FORCE yourself to do some happy stuff. And then, if your'e still feeling yucky, talk to your husband about YOUR insecurities. Own them as yours, but share them and ask him to help you work through them. But only AFTER you've done some things to help yourself out of the funk a little bit.

♥
C. Lee

ETA: I forgot to do some cheerleading.

You are an AWESOME wife and your hubby loves you. Size ten or size six, he didn't choose you because of a couple of pant sizes. He chose you because you are his perfect match. And that's why you chose him.

Get your a$$ off the couch and go for a walk. Go drive around with hubs and look at Christmas lights. Put decorations up. Already have? Go to Hobby Lobby (50% off all Christmas decor this week!). There's always room for more. None up yet? WTH? Get up and do it!

YOU are better than this woman sitting on her couch feeling sorry for herself. You are strong and lovely. You are smart and thoughtful.

Get up. Go put your arms around your husband and lean into him.

Honey, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Not about the tv thing....I say to each his own...but about the rest. Did you know that you can have PRE-Partum depression? It sounds like you probably had some going on before you got pregnant, but now it is taking over. I didn't know that this was a real thing until the 2nd time I had it. You need help, and so you need to ask for it!

Let your husband read this post, and tell him that you realize that much of this is not "Normal" but it is what you are feeling, and you know that its not ok to feel this way, but you don't know how to stop. This will give him a frame of reference for starting to help you in his own way. I recommend this because you said you are not very good at communicating.

Next, or even RIGHT NOW you should call and make an appointmet with a counselor. This is the biggest help you can give yourself! Especially because it can take a couple of weeks to get the first appointment. I didn't do this until my first was 5 months and I was literally having a breakdown. Its amazing what help can do.Just having someone to talk to that helps you figure out the thoughts in your head is so nice and validating.

I am sorry that you are going through this, but you can make a difference in your own life. I know what its like not to want to exercise, and it just ticks you off when people suggest it. I have been there. Really, talking to a professional is going to do you a lot more good. I also recommend talking to your doctor about some anti-depressents. There are some that are ok to take during pregnancy. I personally took Zoloft until the 3rd trimester when I stopped because of lung development for the baby.

Good Luck Lady! YOU are special YOU matter, and YOU need help. Blessings!

Wow. It sounds like you are depressed and insecure.

First, stop watching those shows! Who cares what other people are comfortable with?! And, anyeay, they sound like reality tv shows...which most times really AREN'T reality! They are createx to get ratings, just like any other show. Turn off the TV!

Find someone you can talk to about your feelings...like a professional. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and it really may help! Taking that first step is hard...I've been there...but it is soooo worth it! You need to start working on your emotional health BEFORE the new baby comes, or you will be at MUCH higher risk of postpartum depression!

Find something YOU enjoy doing and make time for YOURSELF! If YOU are happy, the marriage will follow!

Don't ignore these signs! Use this as an opportunity to improve things for yourself, your children, and your marriage. You are so worth it!

Best of luck. <3

I dated a guy for a few months about 6 yrs ago who I found out was a swinger. This man was very unhappy. He thought he was a happy person and had a good life but he was protecting himself from ever loving again. he actually said he would never fall in love again because he did that once and she broke his heart, so never again. The funny thing is he always wanted sex, but when he kissed me it was like kissing no one. He was emotionally dead. I never slept with him. I stopped seeing him and he met someone else and went back to his lifestyle of choice, with her. Again he thought he was happy. Well he went through some financial setbacks and she left him.

He doesn't get it --- sex is not a spector sport. It is a meaningful connection between two people.
I feel sorry for the people who adopt thses lifestyles. They do not understand that they deserve to be loved deeply and truly. I don't watch shows like this, if people want to spend their lives running away from true love, so be it. If these shows disturb you don't watch them.

About the rest of the stuff a lot of it is probably hormones. But I do see an unlying insecurity in you. Maybe seeking out a counselor to talk to will help. But above all else remember ****THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU****.

Talk to your doctor. You sound like you may be suffering from depression. Lethargy and being upset by things that really don't affect you. And a lot can be because of the pregnancy. The depression may have been minor before and the hormonal roller coaster may be kicking it up a notch. Ask for help, for your sake and your little one - you want to be healty all over :)

You are over thinking things a bit. Probably from hormones and anxiety.
Your next step is counseling. There are counselors out there with sliding scales and it might not be as difficult as you think to find someone to really express your anxieties to. It's as effective as medicine and doesn't have the side effects. Wishing something would magically change only works in the movies.
I think if you showed most men this post, they would be clueless. Your mind is wondering places it has no business being. You are watching things that are not good for any wife to watch.
If you want to work on your relationship you need to get some one on one help, first. Then couples counseling. What I am telling you is, you are either fooling yourself on being drug free or you really, really, really need a psychiatrist. I am speaking the truth in love. Call your doc and ask for a referral. Please.

If these shows are so upsetting to you, and you can't stand to watch people participating in certain lifestyles, then wouldn't the easiest thing be to stop watching those shows?
Perhaps some marital counseling would help with the communication issues between husband and you. Remember that just because his reactions are not what you would hope they are, does not automatically make them inappropriate. Good luck

OK, for once, you are 8 weeks pregnant. It is normal to feel tired, sleepy, sluggish, everything you described in the first trimester. When I was pregnant, both times, I was sleeping over 16 hours a day (and unlike you I never imagined to feel guilty about it - it is my body going through changes, after all!)

Another thing you keep imagining what your husband MAY think or MAY feel when there is not much evidence of him even knowing what you are experiencing.
I do not suggest you go and poor all those feelings over your husband and hope for a favorable response, it may be too much for him to take at one setting, but you can tell him that you want a long hug or to snuggle up for a while. Sometimes when I feel low I would snuggle up to my husband and tell him that I feel lost, and alone, and I need his hug, and I need to feel his arms around, and for him to make me feel safe without telling him about all the dark feelings I experience. He usually responds with a hug and reassures me that he is there, and we may talk or may not (sometimes all I need is that initial reassurance and closeness). I do the same to him when I see that he is going out of his mind over something - I ask him if he wants a hug or to sit together and he usually accepts that and tells me all his troubles if he wants. If he doesn't feel like talking and wants to get distracted (same works fro me) we may watch a comedy together or have sex later.
No one, including your husband can know and understand you 100% - but both of you can learn to build bridges and show each other that you are there for the other person.

So my question is why are you watching all the garbage on TV? Once in a while I will stop and watch a Maury Povitch or other similar show, but for me they are only a laugh, as I figure these people are ridiculous... and besides I'm pretty sure they are encouraged to do all the more fighting and really dumb answers in order to keep the ratings of the shows high. For you, who seems to be taking the shows much too seriously, I think your best bet is to simply turn off the TV and live your life without trying to interject the lives of losers into it. Find a good, uplifting book to read if you need some entertainment.

I understand some of what you feel. Some of your issue could be hormonal. But I know that I don't look even close to what I used to and I don't like it. I can't do anything about it but I don't like it. But I have talked to my husband some about it and he knows I can't really change it. But I am still very insecure.

Sweetheart. You are beautiful to him. Turn off the tv....it is spiraling your insecurities out of control. It is hard enough to stay in control of emotions when pregnant. You don't need to compete with crazy tv sex lifestyles...or Victoria Secret commercials. You two need to connect more.

Keep the tv off in the evening...play some games together in the evening, laugh together...it will lead to talking and easier communication. Don't bring up these questions with him about would he desire more sex partners or open marriage and such. Don't go there. Ask him what his fantasies are with you.

My dad cheated on my mom. I have done a lot of reading, and some talking to men I know that have cheated and are being honest. Most men do not go outside of the marriage simply for sex...or just for a hot woman. We have seen many rich,famous men who have hot wives that end up in the arms of another woman....and often she isn't as good looking. You look at the wife and think, "What the heck? She is hot..why would you need anyone else?" A man tends to stray to where he feels needed,wanted,desired,appreciated and loved. Make your husband feel this way with you in your marriage...in your home. Don't go to him with all your insecurities that you have dreamed up in your head.

I wish you the best...