Etiguette for Serving Food at a Wedding

I would suggest that there be cheese/crackers/fruit. This will hold the guests off without being costly.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where the vride and groom were not present in the roomwhen dinner was being served
Hmmmmm....

It is their party and if they are willing to allow the guest to be served first, go for it!

No use having the guest standing around waiting for the bride and groom if there is a good reason.

I agree, to have the DJ or Band leader announce, that "the Bride and Groom would love for you to begin enjoying your dinner." "They will join all of you as soon as their portraits are completed.. " "Bon Apetit!"

Do not make it a big deal, just let this be an act of consideration from the bride and groom for their guests..

That's weird and I think you should talk her out of it. If money is an issue perhaps you can suggest stationary appetizers (such as a fruit/vegetable/cheese board with crackers and breads and dips) and then find a way to cut the costs of dinner or dessert. The cake can be the only dessert, served with whipped cream or ice cream or a drizzle of fruit puree. As a guest I would wonder what the heck is going on. One normally doesn't eat dinner without the guests of honor present.

Well...your job as a caterer, is to plan according to the people who have hired you! It's strange, but you absolutely should not bring it up. (unless, you are willing to work on price, to make this happen.) It's not your place, unfortunately.

I think you should mention that it is not customary and recommend that cheese , crackers and fruit be served as an appetizer. Otherwise, the guest may blame you for the "off" timing and not want to use you for their event in the future.
EDIT. My dad and brother are General Contractors. If someone wants to do something cheaply (like a Fiberglass shower surround) they turn the job down because they do not want their reputation soiled because the customer wanted cheap materials that eventually leaked.

I've never seen this done, but it's a nice gesture. I do think the DJ should maybe say something like, "The bride and groom are busy taking photos and have asked their guests to go ahead and start with their meals." Otherwise, I think many guests will be confused and wonder where the couple went during the meal.

It seems odd but it doesn't strike me as rude or anything given the bride and groom don't eat with everyone anyway - they're only seated with a few people - so they're really just "hurting" themselves. They'll have to gulp down dinner and miss the fun of eating with their wedding party but it likely is a cost thing so I'd rather see this as a guest than cash bar or something. So I wouldn't say anything. Likely the family has been to plenty of weddings to know the typical routine. And some people don't want their pictures before the ceremony. We didn't.

At our vow renewal, our guests began eating while we were taking photos. We finished with all the photos, and I walked around talking to guests as they finished eating and so on. By the time I had gotten all the photos taken, and spoken to all of my guests, the only thing left for me to eat was a roll. I didn't get to eat any of the food that I spend 18 hours making!

Several of our guests left after everything, and the rest went back to our house to play cards. When we got back to our house, I grabbed a sandwich. It was the only thing I had eaten all day!

So why am I telling you this? Well, the bride is going to be busy getting ready and trying to prepare herself for everything that's going on. I would talk to the mother of the bride AND the bride and explain that it's common practice to have the guests wait to eat, or snack on hors d'oeuvres so that the bride and groom have a chance to sit and eat as well. Otherwise, the bride and groom will have people interrupting them while they're eating to give their congrats.

Just save food for the bride. Everyone got to eat at my wedding but me. I was taking pictures with the new hubby, and since I was late, we didn't get to take the girls pics before hand, so the guys, and groom, ate while we were doing that. By the time we got done with pics all the food was gone. I got cake and that was all! We did a buffet so people could help themselves.

Oh, and don't bring any other "desert" so that the guests don't eat cake, then you have a Whole lot left. But, I do think its a good thing to do while waiting for the bride and groom.

Thats weird! I would not serve until bride and groom are seated. I would do pictures 4:30 before guests arrive and then 5:30 wedding etc. She should serve appetizers. Good luck!

Sorry but not having the bride and groom eat with the guests is just bad form. You should really try to talk her out of it. Maybe come up with some inexpensive appetizer ideas. Or suggest starting the reception later.

just please don't let the guests sit there for two hours with no refreshments, waiting. that happened at a wedding i went to once. it was torture with two small kids. there were no appetizers and "no one is eating till the bride and groom get here." ugh!!! anything would be better than nothing....(just don't go in the complete opposite direction, in other words lol)

Proper ettiiquette is you serve the guests first. There are exceptions such as when the bride and groom eat first before taking pictures then the guests get served. Basically, the bride and groom are the hosts of the party, a wedding is no different than a dinner party at home, the hosts don't serve themselves first, the guests are served.My husband ran a catering hall for years and proper ettiquette is as I said, but you basically can be flexible with it.

My answer is coming from reality tv :) On Four Weddings they commonly show a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception. I think it is a great idea to treat your guests to a drink and some light appetizers prior to the formal reception.

Who's paying for the wedding?? Serve slow is the only tip I can give. I would also make sure food is left for the Bride and Groom.

I have worked many weddings and none of them are the same. I worked a traditional Japanese wedding and the Bride and Groom did not eat at all. They stood greeting guests as they came in, went table to table to say hello to each guest, then stood at the door again in case someone left to say thank you for coming. I do not even remember them eating at all. It was the most memorable wedding I have ever worked.

Never in my life have I been served before the bride and groom get there. More than that as a guest it would make me uncomfortable so I wouldn't get up until they were there. That might be what you want to point out to her because personally I would hate to have everyone eating cold or warmer icked food.

Now I might add I have seen a fair few people with no manners that I can find so if their whole family is like that they may be all over the food regardless of where the wedding party is.

Most often, no one eats until the bride and groom are served. But if the mother of the bride is paying the bill and she wants to serve without them, then do so. She sounds like she is just trying to save a few bucks. No Hors D'oeuvre's and not an hour wasted.

You can suggest this to her, but leave her the option if that is what she wants to do. If you refuse, she will find someone to do it.

I've never been to a wedding when the guests ate before the Bride and Groom.

The typical weddings we have attended have a reception with hot and cold aappetizers and bar until the Bride and Groom are ready to make their appearance.

Just before the appearance, guests are ushered into the dining area and seated. Only AFTER the Bride and Groom are seated do they begin serving the guests.

At our country club, to make it easier for the servers at large events.... the place card has some sort of notation on it, (could be color of the card, etc) which indicates what that person selected... fish, chicken, beef, or vegetarian. This way prevents the servers from having to ask everyone at the table what they ordered PLUS.... the food is served on a hot plate, ready for the guest and the server is not walking around the room looking to see who ordered what while the food gets cold.

Please navigate with this client that eating without the guests of honor is not mannerly. Serve drink and appetizers and have a social time first.

The last time I went to a wedding when there was no formal meal was back when I was in high school in a very rural town. They had buttermints, punch and cake.

EDIT: WHOA.... JC hit the nail on the head. This will reflect on you and your business so make sure you do it right or not at all.

My guests ate the food, which was hors d'oeuvres because we did not have a meal of any sort. We had a lot of hot stuff and the typical cake, mints, and nuts but not a sit down meal.

The photographer took nearly 45 minutes of pictures. I was so tired of standing there hungry.

When we got to the reception we only had cake left. All the other food was gone. It sort of annoyed me at first because I wanted something to eat more than cake.

We cut the cake and had the typical reception and it was fun.

So this is what I think.

Offering food in the way of refreshments to fill that time gap between the wedding and the actual cutting of the cake is a good way to stall the guests and keep them occupied. They can get a plate full of stuff and go find a place to sit. Get comfortable in anticipation of the bride and groom coming.

Then when the bride and groom and all the wedding party/family come in they have the cake/punch/stuff and that's the official reception.

If they are not having the hors d'oeuvres they might want to do a drink time in here at a bar type setting.

If they are having a formal sit down meal then appetizers should be served a while before the actual meal anyway. They don't want to fill up on them just to go right in to sit down and eat.

I can truthfully say I have never, ever, ever been to a wedding that had a meal served. It is such an odd thing to me to do that. We only do the hors d'oeuvres at the most then the regular stuff like the wedding/grooms cakes, punch, mints, and nuts.