Etiquette Question - Hicksville,NY

Updated on May 07, 2014
L.M. asks from Hicksville, NY
14 answers

My parents and aunt are throwing a rehearsal dinner for my brother and sister in law to be at my aunt's house Friday night. (Parents live in an apartment so they cannot host it but are footing most of the bill). My family is going, should I bring a bottle of wine or not? When I go to friend's houses, I never ever come empty handed but this is a bit different. What do you think?

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Since you know the hostesses so well, just ask! Even offer to pick up anything they forgot last minute.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Never come empty handed, especially to family. It is a beautiful occassion. I agree with the flowers over the wine. Flowers nice or if your Aunt prefers plants bring her a plant. But bringing a small something is a nice gesture and great etiquette.

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think bringing your Aunt a bottle of wine would be really thoughtful of you. Go for it! For what it's worth, I would bring the hostess a gift too.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it would be a nice hostess gift. But I would give it in a way that makes it clear that I don't expect the wine to be opened at the dinner. Your Aunt might appreciate a glass of wine to relax after everyone is gone after the work of hosting the dinner!

6 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

can't hurt!
khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

A bottle of wine is ALWAYS a good idea!

6 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It never hurts to show up with something on your hand.

My 19 yr old moved to her condo for college about 20 minutes from me. Everytime she comes over, about once a week, she brings a small bouquet of flowers. So sweet and so thoughtful.

I never told her about doing that..... She saw that each time we went to someone's home, we always carried a bottle of wine and small bouquet of flowers.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I love the idea below of telling your aunt that the wine is for her to crack open on her own after everyone's left!

Yes, bring something, but since this is your very close family, it would be OK in my book also to ask your parents and aunt: "Is there anything I can do to help?" If they are having this dinner catered, they might appreciate a donation toward the meal; or they may not have thought about flowers and you could offer to bring arrangements for the dining table, coffee table (if they're using other rooms of the house for mingling), etc. I'd still bring that bottle of wine, though!

4 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

This is an occasion to celebrate! Bring a couple bottles 'for the table' or as a hostess gift; I'm sure that it was a lot of prep on your aunt's part. Enjoy!

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

You aren't expected to bring anything to a rehearsal dinner at someone's home, but it's still a nice gesture. If the bottle you bring doesn't go with the dinner your aunt has planned, she can always save it to enjoy later.

2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I would do flowers instead of wine unless you know they will drink it. I do not drink, so when people give us wine bottles, it either gets regifted or trashed.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Never show up empty handed applies to just about any social event in my opinion.

Flowers would be nice since they'll stay at your aunt's house after the dinner and remind her that you appreciated her sweet gesture.

Have fun!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Bring a nice bottle for your aunt. She will appreciate it and can choose whether to serve it that night or save it for later. I don't think it's rude NOT to bring one, but it would be a really nice gesture to show your aunt you appreciate her opening her home for this event. Have fun!

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S.T.

answers from New York on

This is a party hosted by your parents (and lovingly by your aunt too). A bottle of wine or other hostess gift isn't needed. I would get something for your aunt to pamper herself (luxurious body lotion & shower gel, etc.) as a way for your family to further show appreciation for her gracioius hospitality - but a traditional hostess gift isn't called for.

Enjoy the festivities - I love family weddings!

1 mom found this helpful
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