Even If They Offered Would You???

I only do that with VERY close friends. When they say it, they mean it, and we plan a visit ahead of time.

Most people just can't do things at the last minute, especially if they have kids. Please think about that before you assume that they really don't want you using their pool.

They're being rude by being falsely nice. If you don't want to offer something, don't, especially if you aren't going to follow through. I never say something I don't mean or offer something I don't want to give, because it will always turn around and bite you in the butt.

We have a pool and say the same to our close friends. We wish they would take us up on it more often...cuz we really mean it.

I have had a mom ask me if she could bring her boys over to work on swim strokes and I said "Heck yes...come on over but I won't be home solet yourselves in the yard and stay as long as you want." I even left cold ice water out for them and the house unlocked so they could use the restroom.

Another mom called and asked if she could bring her little one over after his nap because she bribed her son with swimming at our house if he took a nap. I emphatically said "Sure!!!" I laughed and thought to myself that I was soooo grateful I had a pool to help this mom in a desperate nap battle.

Personally we love to share our pool with others. I am grateful to others that shared their pools with us before we had ours. Yes it is rude of them to offer and then make you feel uncomfortable when you finally take them up on it. I personally would call them on it. If they say, they won't be home just say that you thought they had offered whether they were home or not.

Good luck and best wishes for getting your toes wet soon! If you were in my neck of the woods I'd let you come take a dip in mine...it is hot today!!

I would call ahead and see if it's okay... heck, if they aren't home, go for it!

Our friends have a pool and made us the same offer... it's neverrr been an issue. We always clean up after ourselves. I've made the same offer to our neighbors as far as 'if you need anything, PLEASE let me know!'... they were hesitant at first, but now, if they need me to watch the baby for an hour or let their dog out because they'll be gone for a while, I'm happy to oblige... and I don't feel strange asking them for favors either.

I think it's wonderful when neighbors actually take the time to get to know one another and team up as a community! It's rare these days! :)

This is something most people don't know or say. The MORE your pool is used, the cleaner it is. The movement keeps the water moving and less maintainence is needed.

My grandparents had a pool and DEMANDED people come over so their grand daughter (ME) didn't have to vacuum the pool again. Man, I miss them and that pool.

Even after 36 years of friendship and knowing I can use my neighbors pool
whenever I want, I still call. Just being curtious. If I knw they are out for
the day, we will occasionally go over. Just trying to be a good friend and
neighbor.

LOL I wondered that same thing!!! I think you're right to ask in advance. If they change their minds and don't want you there while they're gone, I think that's perfectly okay. I would always ask first because I'd feel too uncomfortable just showing up! HTH

I don't think anyone is being rude, really.
I have O. friend that has offered her pool when she's not there and I have taken her up on it---once.
I think the "Hey if you ever want to use the pool feel free, even if we aren't home!" is much like the "Let me know if you need anything" offer. I think they don't really expect you to do it.
And how would you know if the pool is safe (chemically) if you don't ask first?

Maybe try to arrange in advance. Like "Can the kids and I come over and swim on Thursday afternoon, around1:30?"

We have a pool. My cousin will call before. It doesn't bother us in the least. They have come over when we aren't home. The kids ask where we are but when they come and we are home we go outside and watch the kids. They love to have an audienace!

We had neighbors that offered that, and I truly believe they meant it (they were just *that* nice) but I felt really weird going into their backyard with my kid to swim when they weren't home, so never did.
We had a pool the next summer and after knowing how awkward their offer made me feel, the offer I extended to neighbors and friends was "Hey, we swim every afternoon of the week and then again after dinner. If you ever want to join us just give us a call and come over, we keep the cell phone next to the pool so we can hear it - we LOVE having company!"
We also never offered it to people when we weren't home because it was a liability - even good friendships can be ruined when a child accidentally drowns, and we didn't want to chance anything happening to anyone while we weren't on watch.
We even emptied the pool when we moved out (the house was still in our name and we lived in SoCal, sue happy people down there!)

I would say, "I don't mean to sound rude, but you said x. If that's no longer the case, I will stop asking." I think making an offer you don't want to really make is rude.

I don't think either one of you is being rude. The neighbors across the street from my parent's house have a pool & have always said the same thing to my parents/sister/myself. My sister & I have taken the kids over there to swim usually a couple of times a year, but my parents have never gone unless we drag them with us. This past year my parents put a pool in themselves & then were mystified why so many people wanted to come visit them all summer long....hmmm...can't imagine! ;)