Every Other Weekend or Not?

With all due respect, your mom needs to keep her opinions to herself. If the girls seem happy to you, then what should it matter that one day they said they lived at their Dad's? It's not a competition. It sounds like you and your ex are handling this well, with your children's best interests at heart. If you don't think the split week is a problem for them, then you know best. Just keep listening to the girls. It sounds like you are both willing to be flexible if it seems like their needs change, and they probably will. I'm not divorced, but my parents were, so this issue kind of hits home. I did every other weekend with my out-of-home parent. Which was fine until I got into my pre-teens/teens and I wished it could be more flexible... because I missed parties, etc... because I had to be "at mom's" and couldn't bring myself to hurt her feelings and say I wanted to switch things up. I would recommend that you just keep listening, keep being flexible as they grow. Try to keep your feelings out of it as best you can, because although my parents did the best they could with the situation, there was always a lot of guilt on the part of us kids (not wanting to make one parent feel "second best"). Good luck... sounds like you're doing great.

I just wanted you to know that my ex husband and I have the same arrangement as you. I have the boys, ages 8 and 5, 4 nights a week and he has them 3 nights a week. It does work out and they are happy. I think it works well because they know that they are with me from Tuesday afternoon through Saturday afternoon and then at their dads from Saturday afternoon through Tuesday Afternoon. I feel that it is more important for your kids to have a close healthy relationship with both you and their dad. So far it has worked really well for me, my ex husband and our two boys. I hope this helps! P.

Don't sit down and talk to your girls -- sit down and listen to them. At their ages, there's a lot that's hard to understand, and if they're splitting the time between your home and their dad's, what difference does it make where they say they live?

Count your blessings that you and your ex get along well and that he's actively involved in your daughters' lives. Encourage that and facilitate it and when the girls are with you, really spend time with them. You get lots of time off to do things with your boyfriend, friends, or on your own, so take advantage of your situation to be the best parent you can be and work with your ex to help him do the same.

It's not about you. It's not about him. It's not about the divorce or your boyfriend or your mom. It's about those girls and doing the best by them.

Listen to your mind and heart. You'll know what to do for you and the girls and your ex as things in your lives evolve. I wish you the best.

Whatever you and your ex have decided, and it works for the two of you....it really does not matter what anyone else thinks. When it starts to be a problem for your daughters, then you and the ex, only need to seek guidance/counselling as a family (you still are, you know). We, mothers, sometimes just want things the way we want them when it comes to our grandchildren, but we get over it.

There is no easy answer to your questions I will say go with what you think is right for you and the girls Remember you can not make people happy all the time

It sounds like your mother is just trying to control you. If your girls were crying or complaining about not wanting to go with Dad or not wanting to stay with you then I think you would have reason for concern. (My nephew cries not wanting to go to his dad's house (my brother) because he doesn't like his new wife.) If every one is happy and this setup works for all of you, I'd stick with it. I applaud you an your ex for being so amicalbe and not using the girls as leverage like I've seen SO many couples do. Just remember you may have to be more flexible as the girls get older and are more able to make their own choices.