Ex-wife Pictures

I would talk to him and tell him how you feel. My husband has engagement pics from his previous fiance and other pics of old girlfriends. Yes, they make me jealous, but they aren't displayed, just part of his past.

If my hubby had pix of old girlfriends, etc. I would think that it was because he wanted to keep them for whatever reason. I think it's up to your husband. after all, getting rid of the pictures doesn't make the past *poof* disappear as well. It really wouldn't bother me. I probably wouldn't have them mixed in with current family photos....that's what a storage bin is for!
(Actually, I'm pretty impressed that he put them away in a logical place--with other pictures!)

My thoughts? I think you're being a little insecure/jealous.

My husband has plenty of pictures of his exes as do I. It is something that is part of the fabric of our lives, but so far into the past that it doesn't make a difference.

He's married to me, he's committed to me and my children, and he comes home to me every night. Chances are that the ex-gf in his past helped him understand what he wanted/needed in a relationship - it wasn't her...it was me!

Updated - and about Facebook, still the same thing imo. My husband is friends on FB with his ex-gf of 5 years (his hs sweetheart) and at least two other ex-gfs. I'm friends with at least 3 of my ex-bfs. I've even met the girl who was his hs sweetheart at a small gathering of his hs friends and we got along fabulously! That was a lifetime ago and, quite honestly, it didn't bother me in the least. He's with ME...not these people with whom he keeps in touch over the internet. Neither of us have any intention of running off with our exes. They are exes for a reason...but that doesn't mean that the relationship deteriorated to the point where all future contact should be severed. Again, I'm very secure in my relationship with my husband so I don't care if he is friends with them or not just like he doesn't care that I am friends with my exes.

I have been married for over 4 years now. I have to admit, I still have pictures of me and my old boyfriends buried in my closet. And I know my husband has pics of him and his old girlfriends in the closet as well. To me, those are memories of my life. He is obviously with you and loves you now, I wouldn't worry so much about it.

i'd really have a problem with my husband if he got rid of pictures from my past, and he with me. i have pictures of when my ex husband and i were married and dating, bf's i had in hs, and during the years. if there is no real connection ne more why would it bother you? yeah i'm sure finding them was a shock (would anyone) but they are HIS to decide what to do with, it's not like he has them displayed throughout the house or at his desk right? then what's the big deal, you are his now and his present and future but everyone likes to hold on to the "past" some way shape or form. just put them back where they were and eventually if you married him for the right reason, you'll forget about them, or put it on the back burner as i'm sure he has

Ok, they are mixed in with other parts of his life, child, graduation, etc..........his pictures. How was it you came upon them? cleaning, going through his things?

So what is the insecurity about? He is married to YOU. Would you purge everything from your life as you knew it before you met hubby?

I would be livid if I learned that my hubby trashed innocent old pictures from my past.

Communicate with your husband. He had a life before you came into the picture. These are not your pictures to trash.

My husband has pictures from his first marriage. I don't really mind. It is a part of his life.Even though his first marriage did not work out there must still be some wonderful memories for him and I would not want to take that away from him. Now, I would never want to see any of these photos hanging in our home that would be crossing the line for me.

There is nothing wrong with your husband having mementos of his past. You are his present and his future, you have no reason to feel threatened. Sometimes we all think back to our past, old friends, old loves, but that in no way means we are not happy with our present. I would not even mention the photos to him, they are his business. No one should be forced to throw away their memories.

I just read your update, and it changes nothing. She is still his past, and our past makes us who we are today. I still keep in contact with my first love, even another man from my past I almost married. My husband knows about them, and feels fine with it, because they are my past, and he is my present. Why do some feel so threatened by the fact that the others in their life have a past? Do you not trust your husband? If not than these pictures are not really the issue here at all.

I guess I would just have to say, talk to him about it.
He might not have realized he still had them. Or might be ok with getting rid of them if it bugs you so much.
There is kinda a double standard on this subject in my house.
My b/f would FLIP if i had any pictures of old b/fs just laying around. He doesn't even really like to hear me mention guys from my past *even ones that weren't boyfriends*
But he has a photo album of him with a few ex g/fs and talks about them when it fits into a certain conversation.

Now the only difference is, that I don't personally care that he has these photos or talks about experiences with his ex's. *as long as they aren't sexual, obviously*

I also know that my b/f can be a pretty jealous guy. I know that hearing about my ex's bothers him. So I just don't do it. He actually found a few pictures of one of my ex's, that I honestly forgot I had. I got rid of them because it bothered him, they weren't important to me, & there just really didn't seem to be a point in keeping them around.
In my opinion, those people are ex's for a reason, so why keep photos of them? You have all the memories in your head anyway.

How well do you know your husband's heart?

Do these pictures demand special attention or questioning by you or just a simple mention like you did right here? I can't say, it goes back to how well do you know your husband's heart.

If I can across pictures of my husband's ex in with other pictures I wouldn't think anything of it but ask him if he would like you to better organize these pictures but not make a big deal of it but let him know how you felt coming across them. I have pictures of my past mixed in with other pictures. They don't mean anything but are a part of my live's story and my children like to hear the stories of me from way back when. They are learning about my humanity not just being mom or aunt.

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm betting that at some point he had a bunch of pictures and didn't know what to do with them. They just got all thrown in together. I have a box full of junk (pictures, HS memorabilia, old newspapers, etc). I couldn't even tell you what's in there. I'm sure there are pictures from exes in there. It's just stuff that I've held onto over the years for no real reason, other than I'm sentimental :) My husband has a box full of the same type of junk. We both dated people before we met. Those people helped shape us int who we are now. I would never deny him of those memories. Now, if he was staring at his exes picture and mooning over her, then I'd be worried. I really don't think that's happening, in my case or yours.
His ex was a big part of his life, like it or not. I think he's right to want to hang onto some memories. He's married to YOU, not her.
Here's the thing though, it does bother you. So, you should talk to him about it. Don't be accusatory. Just show him the pictures and ask what he wants to do with them. If he says "Leave them out so I can stare at all my exes" then worry. BUT..my bet is he says something more like "oh, I forgot I had those."

My first reaction is that he doesn't even know they're there.

It wouldn't bother me, really. It's life. We all have pasts, and most of them are in pictures somewhere.

I think I would just matter-of-factly ask him if it's ok with him if you put those old photos in a storage box, since you were cleaning up the office area and trying to declutter. I think his response will be all the reassurance you need that these pictures don't mean anything to him, at least not in the sense that they should be threatening or offensive to you in any way.

My thoughts are that it is silly to think that just because something is 'in the past' or 'didn't work out', they are no longer memories or a part of what makes us who we are. Pictures are a BIG thing in my family (I'm sure they're big in most families, but my family is a bit extreme, according to 'outsiders', lol) and I say, pictures are memories-of the life that has made us who we are, of things that have made us stronger, things that brought us together and things that tore us apart. Your past is your past, and nothing can be done to change that. I have pictures of both of my ex-husbands, and probably all of my ex boyfriends, on my picture wall...not because I still love them or want them or miss being with them, but because they were a part of my life! I've lived a (relatively) good life, and why on earth should I not have the pictures to remind me of the times that formed the person I have become? I also think it's important to show my children that moving on and remembering the good times is a healthy way to deal with break ups and/or loss.

I’m going to try and identify with what you’re feeling. I imagine when you saw the pictures = here is your husband smiling, laughing, with arms wrapped around another woman having a great time. Your first reaction of course will be one of jealousy. Of course you know he had a life before you, been married before and know why they separated, but still it bothered you. That’s o.k. You are human after all and are having a natural reaction. You said you don’t want to be irrational so don’t be. We all like to feel nostalgic every once in awhile and look back at old photographs.

It’s o.k. Don’t let these pictures bother you. Look at it this way, you know if (God forbid) you 2 ever divorced he would still keep some pictures of the two of you in happier times. It’s natural.

As far as the FB thing. Are they still friends or do they still have a common link?? There are many things that would factor into whether or not that's appropriate but if it makes YOU uncomfortable then he just shouldn't be friends with her on FB. Period.

When my husband and I were dating/living together we had a house fire. The only things that survived were my cat (but not the dog- the arsenist/landlord let her out and thought the dog was with me-jerk) , most of my first wedding pics and a couple other things. I was an art major and the only art that survived were some of my slides. Guess what they were off? Stupid ex-husband! Not the best friend, not the still lifes, not the animal or action shots, just stupid ex! I kept them for a few years as I had lost everything else, but finally threw them out. I did keep the wedding pics though as there is a lot of my family in those pics that are not longer with us. I didn't get rid of the pics of the ex's family either as they are in a leather bound book and I didn't want to tear it up. Anyway, I hadn't even thought about it in years and couldn't even tell you where it is, but now i feel like hunting it down and looking at pics of granddad playing the violin before the ceremony.
Anyway, sometimes we just have things from our life that we like to hold onto. Sometimes it doesn't mean anything, other times it may have signifigant meaning. Shouldn't matter. He's with you now. Shes his past. Dont bring it up and remind him to look at them. Just tuck them in a drawer or nice storage box. If he asks for them, just tell him you were tidying up and didn't know he was still looking at them.