Experiences Dealing with Ocd/therapy in Children

hi L.; i just wanted to say that i bow down and worship you, you are amazing.

i do not have any experience w what you are dealing with so i have nothing to offer; however, if i'd have said anything, it would be that you should reach out to others, and never blame yourself; which you're already doing!

i can really tell from your posting that your love for your son and your husband is unwavering, n that's what matters most. it seems like you three are really tight and supportive, and that's what will get you through this. i hope you have a few good local girlfriends that you can escape with once in a while, too; with a great personality such as you obviously have, i'm sure it's the case.

and i want to also point out that the really amazing thing is that you are not making this into a life ending tragedy, which is what happens to a lot of parents when they find that thier child has a major challenge. the closest i can come to your sitch is that my sister, who is 14 years older than me, is a significantly disabled person, from birth, and my mother really let it destroy her life a lot of the time; as the second child, i was under pressure to fix it, some how, and also ignored a lot; because my mother was so consumed with guilt and dismay that she couldn't parent effectively; but that is NOT happening to you. you aren't going to be perfect all the time, but it's clear that you know that, and it's also clear that you really are supporting yourself and not getting into the blame and drama that can turn something like a psychosocial issue into a family-destroying disaster. cheers, big cheers, and kudos, to you.

i hope you wil have more children, we need more moms like you putting more loved, healthy, powerful children, like your son, on this planet.

J.

Hello L.,
I feel for what you and your son are going through, and wanted to bring up a few (very) positive notes:

First and foremost, your son has shared his OCD with you. OK, it may have been hard to hide, but you would be surprised at how many OCDers (kids and adults alike) are so embarrassed by their 'weird' thoughts and behaviors, that they hide them from everyone, especially their loved ones. Now your son has a partner in crime and knows that you are there with him to tackle Mr. HornyCorny when he is lurching around the corner.

Second, you've taken positive action right away. Early intervention and acknowledgement are not only important in their own right, but allow your son time to get to know Mr. H while he is young and and can depend on his family for his other daily physical and emotional needs. Should Mr. H still be around when he is older (which is NOT necessarily the case), he will already be armed and ready!

A friend of mine hid his severe OCD for years. He was extremely unhappy, and a pro at keeping it a secret: no one had a clue. Long story short, he finally decided to seek help, and is now a happy, healthy husband and father of two.

Now some suggestions:
Make sure you are comfortable with and confident in your doctor. If at any point things don't feel 'right', don't hesitate to get a second opinion. Doctors are only human, too!

Do your own research about OCD (though it seems like you already are!) Books at Barnes & Noble, professional organizations like Natl Institute of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov, internet websites, chat rooms and blogs, etc.

Find an OCD support group in your area. There's nothing like spending time with other Moms who share similar experiences. And the tips and information people come up with can be a goldmine!

Your state of mind will influence your son's. If you feel that you are overwhelmed, exhausted, etc, and if the atmosphere at home has changed for the worse, your son is sure to notice this and can feel that it is his fault.. It's OK for him to know that it's tough for everyone, but be careful. Find time to spend away from your son. (Support groups can offer suggestions for the how and where.) Your son needs a healthy mom, so don't feel bad about spending time on your own. He will benefit as much as you will.

Good luck, and keep up your great attitude. And remember, you and your son are not alone!

Dear L. H,
I had a very similar situation, but my daughter was younger. I can share your heart ache - it is so frustrating and sad and can truly drive you crazy as a parent, but it sounds like you are doing everything right.
CBT was a miracle for us. But our therapist did a fantastic thing. First visit she drew a kind of silly looking monster and named it "the worry monster". Then she told her that when she did the things the worry monster wanted (which the kids are pretty good at knowing which are obsessive thoughts) that she made him get bigger & stronger. And when she said no it it, it got smaller & weaker. And the more she said no, the weaker it got until he would leave her alone. She said he might come back but that by saying "no way, I'm not listening to you" he would go away again.
This helped with the idea of it instantly going away, by making the nature of getting better an incremental thing (shrinking it bit by bit, each time you say no to an impulsive thought).
We still have minor recurrences, but nothing like the reign of terror OCD held for several months at its peak. And I don't panic anymore, I stay calm & remind her of these tools our therapist gave her.
Be careful with these recommendations about God & prayers. Pray all you want (I certainly did) but if you've read the OCD books you know religion is a big potential area for obsession, so we were pretty careful about how we talked about religion while this was at its peak.

Good luck. Your son is lucky he has you. I'm sure he'll beat this and be stronger for it in some way.

HI L..
Have you thought about "alternative approaches". i know an unbelievable healer that works with children.
www.noranmalouf.com - ###-###-####.
He is amazing....

I can't help so much with the OCD, my son is only 7 months old and we haven't hit any parenting snags that give us enough perspective to offer adivce. However, I wanted to give my support to you in deciding to offer medication to your son. I am a firm believer that we overmedicate in this country, however when I was 19, my mother became ill with brain cancer and died 19 months later. The whole time she was sick I struggled with depression and fear that everything good in my life would be taken away from me no matter how hard I fought. I saw both a psychiatrist and psychologist and they were mixed as to whether to perscribe drugs because my depression was SITUATIONAL versus in my CHEMICAL NATURE.
I did take prozac thoughrout my mother's ordeal and the effect was amazing. It was as though depression was farsightedness and prozac became my glasses. It relieved the anxiety and pressure and helped me to see things more clearly. I am thankful that I had the ability to take it. After my mother passed I stopped taking the drug and after coping with her death, I have not struggled with depression any longer.
Although your son's problem sounds very different, I hope that my positive experience with medication can support your decision to go down this road. With some monitoring and observation, I hope that you can find a medication that helps him.
Best,
C.

I wish I could help you other than to say that it looks and sounds like you are doing everything right!
My kid is being "watched" as she comes from a long line of OCD sufferers. She has a lot of fears and rituals as well, however nothing has been diagnosed yet.

I would just like to say that in terms of getting to know the disease and making frineds with it, we play games and talk about it, we talk to g-d all the time, out loud and ask for help, we observe others and point out our ideals for what we like and don't like about a behavior or a person's style...Awareness at every turn!

It is not easy to be mentally ill in America-but the love and friendships we have developed as a result are worth all of the struggles! As such, I wish you love, joy, and a lot of laughs to counteract the tears while on your journey :-)

Penny

I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but if you are Christian, know and believe that the Lord God is a healer. In addition to doing everything you are doing, seek a Pastoral counsel to help you get through this difficult time and more than that, to enlighten you on God's promises in healing. He wants you and your son to be in perfect health. Ask in the name of the Lord God, believe and receive. I can say this because I have witnessed the healing power of the Lord personally. Our Pastor is a wonderful man (who was healed from cancer) and he can guide you - Steve Hannett, Abundant Grace Christian Church - ###-###-#### God bless you and your family. You will be in my prayers.