A.C.
Sorry to hear that. On the other hand, if he's a bad influence then maybe it's good they aren't bonding? If you think he wants to be a dad and is just stuck on HOW, I'd say do you have a parenting center in your area? I got information about the one near where we were through the library circulation desk, but I bet you can look up parenting center and your zipcode? If there's one nearby, check them out and see if they have some coparenting classes or something like that. They help parents who DON'T get along still figure out how to come together and be productive as a team when raising children.
However, if you don't think he's interested: my best friend's exhusband was an evil jerk. I hated him from the first day I saw him, before they even dated. He has older teen kids by another marriage and would smoke weed with them, drink with them, etc. Then play all kinds of manipulative games, messing with their minds. I told her that even though she wanted a "father" for her son, he would be so much better off NOT having a drunk druggy who played mind games! For a little while he insisted on visitation (if he's gonna pay, he's gonna see him, he'd say). They (the parents) couldn't be near each other so I'd be the mediator and we'd meet at McDonalds. I don't think he ever knew that guy was his dad, to tell the truth! The "dad" would just take for granted that his boy knew who he was, and I never said anything at all about him. I'd say "Hi Dale" and they'd have a few minutes of talking but not really anything....he'd eat a chicken nugget, play, eat another nugget, play. One day "The Man" (that's what he called him, lol) bought him a Wiggles Futon for Christmas. He was happy about it, but as if any random person had given him a gift. He told his mom "the man" at McDonalds gave it to him. Inevitably, this loser lost interest and kinda dropped off the earth. We didn't push it; it was a blessing. I know that it breaks your heart that your son doesn't have a relationship with his father. (Heck, I wanna cry when my son gets dismissed by other PRESCHOOLERS). But if his father isn't the man you would want in his life, I would consider it better than him having a real influence on your little guy, you know? Maybe one day he'll change. But I wouldn't hold my breath and wait on it. You can cross that bridge when/if it ever happens....but if he doesn't get straight and grow up, he's bound to lose interest at some point. I'd keep the meetings with him very matter of fact and low key. Don't say "we are going to see your dad", but "Hey, we're going to ___ to see (whatever his name is)".