Feeling Good About Yourself

I had similar feelings about 4 years ago. I had three kids and a full time job. I finally went to my Dr. and he gave me a very small dose of Lexapro (anti-depressant/anti-anxiety) I didn't want to be labeled as "depressed", but I tried it anyway. OH what a difference it made. I am still taking it, and it helps me, not only at home, but at work as well.

I'm older than you but ... BOY ... can I relate. I went to the doctor on a quest for "happy pills". At first, my doctor suggested baby aspirin and told me that my body was supposed to be having babies and was just confused ... I just looked at HIM with total disgust and went to a female doctor. LOL She started tests just to make sure that something else wasn't wrong. It turns out that my thyroid was out of whack. (The only thing I knew about thyroids was from people struggling with weight. While I'm not 110 pds ... I am getting older. LOL) The doctor put me on meds that made me more miserable. She kept telling me that it might take 60 days to begin to feel the difference. I didn't know if my husband, kids and I could hang on that long. After 90 days, I wasn't as irritable ... but freezing cold --- flannel sheets on the beds, flannel pjs and long sleeves (in Florida). My legs and feet were never getting sunlight. Finally ... I tried to heal myself. I'm taking vitamins and feel wonderful. I got an A-okay at my last doctor's appointment.

If you want to try my method ... let me know. Hang in there. Think good thoughts. Sign up for a "motivational or uplifting" message or joke to be sent everyday by email. Try walking to release those endorphins (sp?). Think of something EVERY DAY that you do well. Hope this helps.

I know with two kids at home you don't feel you could possibly have any time left over (I have four myself LOL) but if you could allot some time to volunteer somewhere, even bringing the kids, and give of yourself to those less fortunate, if makes world of difference in lifting your spirits. I just read recently where "giving" releases the same endorphin "sex" or "food" does. GO figure. LOL. (This is M., I volunteer at my church, doing the food pantry, calling visitors, teaching Rainbows, 4&5 year old kids on Wed. nites.)

It sounds like you aren't doing anything JUST FOR YOU. As moms, we take care of all this stuff everyday and then never take care of ourselves. Leave the kids with dad or grandma and go do something you like to do. Exercise is good or maybe a part-time job so you can socialize with other adults. Take a class...something just for you.

I am your age and also a SAHM with 2 small boys. I have a history of depression but have been fine for several years. It snuck back up on me a few months ago. I would snap at any little thing, felt miserable everyday and really started resenting staying at home with my boys. I went back on meds and had some side effects for a few weeks but felt as if the dark cloud had lifted, so I stuck with it. I am more upbeat and optimistic, which has helped me find some energy to do some walking. The side effects are now gone and I feel more like myself again and so glad I talked with my doc.

Medications are not for everyone and there are so many out there, it’s hard to figure out which one would work well for you. Many times a doc starts people on one med and when it doesn’t work out, they give up on meds all together and loose out on the positive effects they can offer (if the right one is found).

Any of the other suggestions would probably be an improvement so just start with the one that you feel the most comfortable with (whether vitamins, exercise, volunteering, “me” time, etc) and if you are not satisfied with the results, then go see your doc and be open to the possibilities that you have a chemical imbalance (whether that be thyroid or serotonin).

If you are depressed there is nothing wrong with taking meds. There is some stigma attached to people who are depressed and take meds. Well I’m here to tell you, forget the stigma. Your family needs you to be your “old self” again. If that means a little pill everyday, then so be it. Once you are your cheery self again, you’ll look back on this contemplation and think of it as silly because you got the end results that you needed.

Same thing was happening to me and my sister turned me onto a supplement called L-Tyrosine. It's an amino acid that "levels you out" hormonally because it allows your thyroid to function better. It has been an amazing thing for me. I also just added chromium pycolinate to regulate my sugar levels too. Both Hormones and sugar levels dropping makes for an irritable me. Life has been much more fun lately. Good luck.

I am 38 and the mother of a 11mnth old girl and 3yr old boy....I feel the same way. It was so bad about a month ago that I sought help via my docotor and a physcatrist. I didn't enjoy being around my 3yr old at all. Had no patients what so ever, angered easily, seemed to never be happy and was totally exhausted. I am normally a very upbeat, positive, happy person. I have a family history of depression so this was my biggest concern. my doc.. put me on zoloff? It has mellowed me out quite a bit. I look at my son like he is a new kid. I see his beauty and wonder, even though he still tries my patients :), I don't think that will end any time soon. LOL. I am going to have some test run to check my thyroids as well. I still don't have energy, but am starting an exercise program and taking more time for myself. I am scheduling it and making it more of a priority, it's not an easy task. Maybe it's just part of being a parent of more than one child and nobody talks about it. We take care of the kids, the house, our marriage, and our friendships, but we very rarely take care of our selves. I would see what Shelia is doing to help her thyroids, most of the time it's best to go with vitamins and exercise, it beats medication any day. I am still feeling my way through the dark :) GOOD LUCK!

I am a stay at home mom also and I seem to irritable at times also. It is kind of hard when your alone a lot. You could try to keep a journal, whenever you feel lousy write it down and then write down every thing else that has happened that day . Look at it and see what was the cause of it. Something might have bothered you and you didn't notice it at the time. If you keep a journal it will help you to see what all went on in the day that could trigger you . Then once you realize what made you upset ,ask yourself is it even worth it? You are the soul of your home and need to be happy because "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".(an old saying)I do that and also go to the gym every day, it relives a whole lot of stress and is good for you . Most gyms have daycare and also beginners cardio class if you don't go now. If you don't like that idea join a play group, I meet some really cool women here on mamasource! Just find an outlet, I also have dinner night with a girlfriend of mine where we get together and make dinner and drink wine and talk about our lives. Being a SAHM is alot work caring for the kids, the house ,the dog, cooking and every thing else that goes with it. You have big job and your family depends on you, you keep things going, just remember how important you are and give yourself "you time". You can talk to me anytime, I hope you have found this useful. Smile!:)

sometimes when i feel this way i look at if there have been any changes in my patrens most of the time i relize i've been eating junk and lots of it i notice it during time that im so busy i'm eating on the go stopping at mcdonalds and such i get myself back out of that habbit other times i dont really notice a differance in my patterns so i just focus on trying hard not to respond the way i dont want to some times it works sometimes it does i dont like the idea of meds for me i tried them once and i was suppose to take them daily and i would take it at 5pm and fall asleep within 30 mins and sleep ntil 5pm the next day time for my next pill no thanks lol but hope you firgure it out

I am right there with you. I have an 11 month old daughter, am a SAHM like you. However, I noticed that I was feeling worse whenever I wasn't getting out of the house. Days would go by and I wasn't going anywhere, not to the store, not for walk, nothing, and I seriously felt ugly, frumpy, fat, you name it, I felt it. So I started taking one night a week to have dinner with my best friend, and I do take the baby with me, but my friend kind of takes her off my hands while we hang out. I also (and this might sound ridiculous, but it helps) take frequent trips to Walmart or Target, sometime both, just to go somewhere during the day. And I take the dog and baby out in the yard, let the dog run around while I soak up some sun and play with the baby. And something I would also suggest, definitely get some Me Time, get manicure or pedicure, or both every now and then. You need to do things for you only once in a while. And getting manis or pedis are a great way for you to be waited on for a change and they aren't too expensive. Just do something you like that is just for you, have agirls night out, go to dinner with your husband, no children. Sometimes, all I need is some quiet time by myself with a book. And remind yourself often that you are doing an amazing job, raising two wonderful children, and then some.

talk to a dr. it could be a hormone imbalance. nothing major but something that needs to be looked into. it could just be stress. there are days i swear i feel like the worst of mother's. my 8 yr old has ADD and thus is sometimes very hard to deal with my 5 yr old has full blown autism altho not as severe as some and my 2 yr old is in the worst case of terrible 2's i've ever seen :P but the stress from all this makes me feel im doing something wrong. i know im a wonderful parent. all my children are loving and special. but its hormones. especially around the time PMS strkes. talk to your dr about what is going on is my advice.

Well, I can completely identify with you and I have found that exercise has really made me feel so much better about myself on more than just a physical level. Just thirty minutes of doing something a day wether it be running, or taking my little girl for a walk has improved my emotional and mental health and the physical benifts are just a plus. I am addicted to exercising now and i belive it gives a good example to our children to show that it is fun to be physical and do more than just watch tv.

Hi T., I think we can all relate to the irriability and stress. It is so hard to feel pretty, or happy when you are running around cleaning up after kids. I'm an older mom (45), I have three boys, ages 7 1/2 and two 4 year olds. Even with them all in school, I felt overwhelmed with housework, laundry, trying to do some redecorating, groceries; do I need to go on? I know we all go through it. I think the biggest thing to help you feel good it make sure you get at least 8 hours of sleep a night. I know that is hard for some people who are "non-sleepers", but the body needs it. Also, watch what you eat. Get a haircut and do something everyday that makes you feel "pretty". It may be as simple as a shower some days for me! Painting my toenails help too. It has nothing to do with weight, but looking at yourself as a mom and not a 20 year old or comparing yourself to fashion mags may relieve some of the stress. If you are not in a position to join a gym, just go out and walk. I'm active with my kids and I love watching them play. I have one son that is so used to me in sweats that he hates my wedding pictures. He doesn't like mommy dressed up! But I know he and his brothers love me and that my husband loves me and that helps me love myself. And sometimes it just takes positive thoughts. When you wake up in the morning, start off thinking how greatful you are that you have another day to share with your girls and how blessed you are that you are their mom! SMILE! The best to you, R.