Finding a Room for Baby #2. - Loveland,CO

Updated on January 09, 2010
C.L. asks from Loveland, CO
34 answers

I am very excited to be expecting baby #2 in August, but we already have run into a big issue that I could use some help with. Where is the new baby's room? My daughter, who is three, has "her" room, and I've considered having her share with the baby. But then I worry that having the baby in with her might result in less sleep for everyone. We could fit a bassinet in our room for the first few months, but there is not space in our room for a crib, and obviously at some point that won't work anymore as we, the parents, do need some privacy, and babies don't sleep in bassinets forever!

We could remove our home office, but that is my husband's (and my) sanctuary, full of bookshelves, books, computer equipment, and files, and not only do I not know where else to put all that stuff, but the level of effort required to move it all is rather daunting. We could also move my daughter to the guest bedroom down in the basement, but then we won't have a spot for guests to sleep, and that bedroom is cold, dark, and very far away from mom and dad. And, of course, I worry that that might be one change too many for a little girl who is already going to have the big change of sharing her mommy and daddy with a new sibling.

Which brings me back to the room sharing. Any thoughts from moms out there who have introduced an infant into your toddler's room? Can I set up the crib in there without creating a big deal? What about nighttime feedings, etc? Should I keep the baby in our room at night for the first months, but let my daughter know they are going to share a room and have her nap in the crib in the "kids" room? Is it okay to have them share room even if they end up being opposite sexes? Anyone do girl/boy sibling room sharing?

Of all the issues baby #2 brings to the table, this is the one that is driving me crazy. Please help before I get really wacko and start looking for a new house! Thanks.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much to everyone who replied! Some of you asked how often we have guests, and it is about once a month, usually for about a week. My in-laws like to fly in about every other month to stay and visit their grandchild (soon to be grandchildren!) and I love having them in my home helping out. The other months we have either my brother, my brother-in-law, or my parents visiting. We basically have house guests about 1/4 if the time. When they are here, they love to help with child care, household projects, cooking, chores, etc. So having a spot for my family to stay is very important to me. The guest room is very small, and I think it would be difficult to fit the office items into that room and still have room for a bed.

After reading your responses, I've decided to talk the issue over with my daughter and see what she thinks. Like many of you said, I do intend to keep the baby in our room for several months, so that gives a little larger window for us to decide. If my toddler rejects the idea of room sharing, I will most likely try to find homes for the office stuff elsewhere in the house and use that room for the baby. I like the idea of 15 minutes a day, as that seems like a very reasonable and workable idea!

Thanks again to all who replied. I now have some great ideas about how to introduce the baby to my daughter's room. I hope she is open to the idea!

*** Another update ***
I talked to my daughter about sharing her room and she was all for it! She said: "And I'll share my toys, and my movies, and my backyardagains too!" She may have no idea what she is getting herself in for, but the good news is she is excited to share with the baby. Thanks for all who replied!

More Answers

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I'd recommend transitioning your office to the baby's room. You can move it into the guest room OR we created an office (looks like a library) in our living room - who ever uses those anyway??? Good luck whatever you decide. You can always try the room sharing, and then change if you find it's too stressful.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

For what it's worth, when my children were babies they shared rooms with an older brother or sister. They've all lived to tell about it, too (they're adults now). I'd have the baby in our room at first, and move him/her into a crib in a sibling's room after a while. What makes it work? Children sleep soundly! More soundly than parents do, I think, when they're healthy at least. Baby would cry in the middle of the night and I'd get up and take care of him or her, and the other child wouldn't stir a bit.

Incidentally, my children (two boys and two girls) shared rooms growing up. When they went to college they had no trouble adjusting to having dorm roommates!

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

My very first thought is to move your office down to the guest bedroom and add a futon or day bed for guests. Putting a little girl down in the dark basement doesn't seem like it would be so great for her.

It is so hard on the first child to take in the second or even the second to take on the third that sharing a room I found with all three of mine does not work so well either. Not only do they have to share you, now they have to share their room, their stuff, etc. Not to mention the fact that the baby WILL wake up the toddler even if you keep the baby in your room for the first couple of months.

All that being said, here is my suggestion. Keep the toddler where she is, move the office to the basement, put the baby in the current office. I know how hard it is to move an office, especially since it is probably your only spot for just you and your husband and I am sure it is packed to the brim. Here is How I do it every time I need to move stuff around. You have a lot of time, so start with the guest room, move things out a bit at a time. Each day, dedicate 15 minutes to a half hour to moving the room out. It may take you a month but take your time, the baby isn't here and even when he/she is, you have a couple of months before the room has to be done anyways. Once you have the guest room all cleared, I like to do something special to it, like paint it, ad an area rug, something to make it mine. Then I proceed to take the current space (your office) and move it in the same way you moved the guest room out. Spend 15 minutes to a half hour each day and move a bit at a time.

One big rule to this is, do not take out more than you can put away. This will narrow down the mess so you don't feel overwhelmed. Basically by the time you have everything moved you will look back and think, wow that wasn't so bad.

Just so you know. I do have two of my children sharing a room at this point, however they are older, more independent, etc. I was never able to have a baby share with another child no matter what age the older child was.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby!

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A.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It was a given that any kids we had would be sharing a room. Hubby was the only boy of 4 kids & always had his own room, so he wanted our kids to have their own rooms but it's not practical with our 4 kids. I only had my own room (again, 4 kids but all girls) when I moved out so sharing was a pain but I was used to it.
Our 2.5 year old shared a room with our infant after baby was sleeping through the night. I think he was between 6-8 mos when we moved him into their room. We had baby toys in one area & bigger boy toys in another in their room.
My neighbor's opposite sex kids shared a room until the older child was 8. They got dressed in the bathroom, took solo showers, could brush their teeth together-military housing would only give them a 2BR, even with opposite sex kids. They're not traumatized & they've been in their own rooms for 3 years now.
Make sure your big girl is prepared to share a room. Get her a blanket or bedset that's totally "her" & do the baby's bed stuff in another theme-that'll help to separate their stuff further. Sharing is part of family life.
When she's older, I'd revisit the idea of moving the office to the basement spare room, or possibly putting your older one downstairs.
If you can't give up your office, they'll have to share. You can't have a new baby & dump the "older model" in the basement, she'll absolutely feel that she's been replaced (I would!).

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

if i were in your situation, i would keep the baby in my room initially, then move him/her into sister's room when the crib is needed. i was very nervous about the same issue, but i'll tell you the same thing everyone told me because it was true for me: you will probably be surprised at how well it works out for your kids to share a room. yes there have been times when the kids stayed awake too long messing around at bedtime, but that was when the second one was older and i think if they had even been in separate rooms they would have found some way to mess around with eachother on those particular nights. but overall, sharing a room has gone fine. the older kids sleep right through the baby's cries in the night, even the "light sleeper".

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi C., We kept number 2 in our room in an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper until he was sleeping through the night (about 4 months old). Once he was sleeping through the night,we set up the crib in our 2 year old's room and moved him in. Now the boys are almost 3 and 17 months and they have a blast!

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A.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Isn't it a possibility to move your office to the basement where the guest room is and use the office space upstairs for baby? How often do you really have guests over? When you do, let your daughter have a sleep over with baby and offer her room. Having a new baby in the house is a big enough adjustment in itself for her. You don't want to ship her to the basement and feel like she is put on the back burner. Or if she actually is fine with the basement move, maybe she would get better sleep down there with out the noise of the baby. Talk to her and see how she feels. Good Luck.

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A.T.

answers from Boise on

Maybe you should just plan on the baby being in the bassinet in your room for a few months and then just figure it out when it's time for a switch. I think whether they can share a room will depend on what type of sleeper the new baby is. Good luck!

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K.T.

answers from Provo on

Maybe you could get rid of your guest room and move the office into that room?

Either way, feel lucky that you have so many options to choose from! We just had our second baby 2 weeks ago, and since we live in a 2 bedroom appartment we had no choices of where to put him. We are keeping him in the basinette in our bedroom as long as possible and then moving him into the bedroom with his older brother when he can hopefully sleep longer stretches at night.

Good luck and congrats!

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T.C.

answers from Boise on

I think if you are okay with them sharing a room, that is the most important thing. Even if you have a boy, they can still share for atleast a few years, you'll know when the time comes for them to have their own space. My oldest daughter has always been a really good sleeper, so although I worried about the baby waking her up, she did just fine. My oldest daughter was 3 when our second was born too. She nearly insisted that she share her room with the baby, they currently share a room still even though we have space for everyone. Maybe you can make sharing your daughters idea, talk to her about how she would feel. She might be more than willing, or maybe a little hesitant now and more willing once the baby gets here. Or if you get the definite impression that it would cause her a lot of anxiety then move your office so everyone is upstairs together.

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M.

answers from Denver on

My daughters share a room. When little sister came home from the hospital she slept in bassinet in our room until I could get her on a schedule. We went over rules with my older daughter who was 3, daily! (nothing sleeps with the baby in the crib, only mom can put her blanket on--we use the swaddlers etc.) I just didn't want her climbing in the crib with 5 blankets. She was actually very excited to have the baby sleep in her room. The slept through all the night time feedings, maybe she woke up once or twice, but fell right back to sleep. They still share a room, and my oldest daughter is so used to her little sister that she does not want her own room. It really has been great. I think if you talk it up and let her help decide where the crib will go so she really feels like she has a part in the decisions it will work out.

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T.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Congratulations on baby number 2! That is exciting. We have 2 children and when baby number 2 came along her brother was 3 just like your daughter. We had our baby girl sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first couple of months then moved her in with her brother because she seemed to sleep better there. We set up a crib and her brother sleeps in a twin bed. It works out perfect. When our daughter came her brother wasn't taken naps any more so we didn't have to deal with the nap issue. Our boy is a heavy sleeper so when the baby woke up he didn't wake or at least he went back to sleep. They don't have any problems sharing a room and for now it is working out fine. Good luck with everything!

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M.V.

answers from Fort Collins on

Hi C.:
I had the same dilemna with my #2. We stuffed a playpen in our room for the first 4 months. Then yes I just had him share with his 4yr brother. While the feeding and waking was a concern. David learned to sleep right through. No problems.Find a quiet spot in the office and feed there. You do not need a perfect setting for baby 2. Lots of children share the world over.Try to relax and enjoy the experience. the love the 2 children will have for each other will far out weigh the minor inconvience, if any happens at all.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Definitely share rooms!!!
It teaches so much to your children. Sharing, getting along with others, preparing for roommates, etc.
My 9 year old and 3 year old girls share a room, and they love it. My boys share a room. No matter how big our house is, they will always share rooms!
They will get used to it and love being together.

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S.R.

answers from Denver on

I would change your guest room into your office. A pain, yes, but worth it, I'd think. I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old in the same room right now by necessity. It was ok when she was in a bassinet in our room, but now that she's in a crib in a room with her brother, she can't cry without waking him up and then he gets upset. So I was pulling her out and nursing her at night to supress all crying, and as a result she hasn't learned to put herself to sleep at all. For naps, she yells for five minutes or so before falling asleep, but at night that's usually enough to drive her brother to yell out to us for "help." So now we pull him into our bed until she goes back to sleep.
My point to all this is that for us, it has been a royal pain and I would try to avoid it. Also, it will be easier to keep their toys separate if they have separate rooms (some three year old toys tend to have small parts . . .) I do know people with kids a couple years older who room together very successfully and I know we'll get there eventually.

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A.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have my two boys share because of that same situtaiton. It didn't matter at all. The first 2-3 months the baby was in a bassinet by my side mostly for my sake so I could nurse easier. But I got a lot of guff from freinds saying it would be bad to mix and my older one wouldn't sleep but it never caused any problems at all. Keep your office.

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D.C.

answers from Denver on

I'd get rid of the guest room. That's what hotels and couches are for.

M.W.

answers from Fort Collins on

Hello.
I kept my 2nd in my room until she was sleeping through the night. When she outgrew the bassinet I had her sleep in a pack n play. Then I moved her in with her sister. (3 yrs old) So far things have been ok. I have noticed that when the baby wakes up at night the older one does seems to struggle going back to sleep, but I'm a stay at home mom so she just gets to have an extra nap in the morning to catch up on any missed sleep.
However if I had an extra bedroom I would definitely have them each in their own rooms. So I would recommend moving the office to the basement. If the room is big enough you could still keep the spare bed in there for guests but it would also be your office.
Thats my advice. Good Luck

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J.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would move your office down in the basement and make it a nice sanctuary for you and your husband (after all that is very important). I would move your daughter into the current office. You will be close enough to her and they will not share a room. Problem with sharing is a baby and toddler have different sleep patterns and it will cause MORE stress on your toddler than switching rooms. Make it fun for her and let he pick out some new things for her new room. Also, do it sooner than later so you can deal with her problems and not all at once. Your guest will have to stay at a hotel or a couch. Daybed with a pull out hide a bed or something different. Your family is growing and they have to understand that. Good Luck! I am also due around August...so CONGRATS!!

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H.S.

answers from Grand Junction on

C.,

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on having another baby!!! How exciting!!

I know that you said that the thought of moving your office was a daunting task, however, if I were you I would reconsider it. I would move the office down stairs and get a pull out bed for guests or do a blow up mattress when you have company stay. I too considered having my children share a room and I am thankful that we moved our office into the other room. Come August, you will be thankful that the only people up at 11pm, 2am, 5am, are you and the precious little miracle that you brought into the world. :) That's just my opinion, I hope it helps. Have a great pregnancy!!

H. Snoke
http://1luckymom.com
Helping Moms Work From Home!!

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J.S.

answers from Denver on

We only have 2 bedrooms, so when baby #2 came last summer we had no choice but for our kids to share a room. Our older son is 5, so he'd been an only child for awhile and we were worried about invading "his" space too.

But, we set up the changing table/dresser combo early on and then set up the crib and the rest of the baby stuff about 2 months before the baby was born. That way our older son had plenty of time to adjust to the new furniture and arrangement of his room. I let him help me pick the sheets for the crib, and we took him to Build A Bear to make a stuffed animal for himself and one for his new brother. Then he got to set up his stuffed animals and organize the inside of the crib.

We also put a bassinet in our bedroom and had the baby sleep in there at night for the first few months. We tried putting him in the crib for naps, but he liked the bassinet better, so we really didn't transition him to the crib until he was about 3 months old.

Our baby is now almost 6 months old, and things are going well. We put the baby to bed first, then read to our older son in our bed now and he goes straight to be once he's in his room so he doesn't wake the baby. And we've found that our older son doesn't usually wake up at night when we get the baby up, and if he does he always falls back asleep quickly.

The only thing I don't like about them sharing a room is that the baby wakes up early (like 5:30 or 6) and is happy to just talk and play in his crib, but I have to get him up or he'll wake up his older brother. If he had his own room I would just leave him in his crib as long as he was happy, but for now I'm bringing him into our room. We have a pack n play set up, and as long as he's happy to just be awake I leave him in there.

One other thing we did when I was still pregnant to help with the transition was create more of a play area in our living room, and we started encouraging our older son to play there rather than in his room. So, now he's in the habit of getting his toys and bringing them to the living room to play and he doesn't get upset if the baby is sleeping and he can't go in "his" room.

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S.R.

answers from Great Falls on

Like everyone else, we kept baby 2 (and later baby 3) in bassinet in our room till they outgrew it about 6 months. They didn't sleep through the night, however, till about a year when they finally gave up the night nursing. Didn't matter. The oldest one slept like a rock and never woke up. By the time #3 arrived, we were living in a 2-bedroom trailer in Yellowstone, so there was no option. Girl-5yr on top bunk, Boy-3 yrs on bottom bunk, baby boy in PakNPlay right next to the bunks. I was worried about #2 waking up with the baby because he'd always been a lighter sleeper, but after a few times, he slept right through it, too. It all worked out for 2 1/2 years till we moved out of the Park. Then girl got her own room and boys still shared.

Good luck!!

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L.W.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi!

Have the baby sleep with you for a couple of months or at least until he or she is sleeping a good long stretch in the night. Also, since you don't know the sex of the baby yet you don't have to make your decision right away.

I did have two of mine (both girls) share a room when they were small. It was no big deal for me since the baby slept through the night relatively early and my second daughter with whom she shared a room could sleep through a tornado.

I would not put your first child downstairs. If needed, I'd transform the guest room into the office/sanctuary.

If they are the same sex, they can share a room for awhile. If you choose to give them each their own room, try putting a larger bed in the older child's room that way it can become the guest room when needed.

Hope this helps.

L.

CONGRATS!

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A.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'd suggest the bassinet in your room for the first few months, since that will make night changings/feedings easier. Set up a changing table on your dresser or similar. Then I'd say do the room sharing thing for a while. See how that goes. In the mean time, your daughter will be pushing 5 or even 6. Maybe she won't mind the guest room by then? I would say the room sharing would work (boy/girl) until your baby is pushing 2 or 3, then I think your daughter will want her privacy (or rather for her baby brother to stop touching her 'stuff'). At least you can push off the possibility of needing a bigger house for a few years. Another option would be to move the office into the basement/guest room or into a living/family room or dining room. A formal dining room works well as an office as long as you have somewhere else to dine (nook, bar, etc). You could put off the move for a while though by room sharing, while you give it more thought.

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M.P.

answers from Fort Collins on

C., I didn't read the other responses so forgive me if this is repetitive.

We have two kids also but unlike you, sharing a room was the only option since we are in a small apartment. We moved our son into the same room as our daughter at 6 months (when we was ready for a crib) and our daughter was 2 years old. I will admit that the initial transition was rough but now there is very few problems with them being in the same room. It has also helped us while traveling because we don't have to deal with them having their own rooms to sleep. I'm also a big fan of kids sharing rooms because I feel that it helps them later in life (my husband works with college students and most of their difficulties with transiting to living in dorms is due to their having to deal with roommates for the first time at the age of 18).

With two kids, you will need all the sanity that you can get so please don't give up your office; you have to alter your life so much for your kids. I think that this is a battle that is worth fighting:) Good luck, M. P in Fort Collins

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

We just moved our office to the basement for our 2nd. We kept the computer elsewhere, but all the stuff went to the basement--you don't use it everyday--the books, the important papers. We just set up a desk in the basement. It was a big move, but it also helped us purge a lot of things we don't need. I'd recommend keeping your daughter upstairs with you. There are quite a few reasons I'd keep your sleeping children close to you--you know when they are sick, you don't have to sprint to the basement if they need you, you're there if there is an emergency. You could share rooms, but that means baby may wake up the older sibling, depending on how the baby sleeps. My first woke up every 2 hours for a year. Luckily the 2nd has slept a little better. I know it's your sanctuary and that's hard, but your husband may enjoy disappearing to the basement to find some peace even more. Hang in there! The first few months are crazy, but you'll get used to the new family. Spend as much time as possible this year having good family and mommy-daughter special time before baby arrives. Enjoy!

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M.M.

answers from Provo on

I like this question, for the fact, we actually had baby #2 share a room with child #1. It worked out well, my daughter slept right through the nightime feedings. There was a point when my #2 a boy and #1 a girl became to old to share a room. So we moved our daughter to her own room. It's nice to see everyones responses as now I'm trying to figure out where to put #3. My son is very demanding and Im afraid that he will try to help me with the baby at night and my daughter is 5 and has kindergarten. So, I guess my advice is to also consider your #1 child's personality. I would try it out for about a week having them together. If it works, great if it doesn't you may have to create #2 a new room. Good luck with your new baby. #2 adds a whole new meaning to parenthood.

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B.L.

answers from Billings on

i would move the home office to the basment and move the new baby in tht room untill yu can find abetter soulion tht is my opion our chancge the gust room to the basment since they are only guest and have tht as the babys room those are the only things i would do we have a threee bedroom and my boyfriend and i share a room with our daughter who is almost two and it works great yes it would be nice for prvacy but it works thanks and hopefully everyhting will work out branid

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W.N.

answers from Denver on

What worked for us was to move the baby into our room while they were a waking during the night, then into our toddler's room once they were sleeping through the night.

W. Nichols-Dewey
www.birthfirstdoula.com

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A.P.

answers from Denver on

My 8 month old daughter shares a room with my 2 1/2 year old son no problems. The first six weeks we had her in a "bassenet" (actually a travel crib) in our living room so she did not disrupt our sons sleep, but the crib was set up and her other belongings as well and she napped in their room. My son knew he would be sharing his room and could not wait until his sister was sleeping in the same room as his, and once she started sleeping through the night no problem. I think we worried way more than we needed to as the transition seemed to be easy on the two of them. We had no other options as we have no guest room or any other room to convert we are in a small two room house and it works LOL my father in law grew up with seven brothers and sisters in one room kids do not have to have a room of their own and you'll be amazed at how well adjusted your daughter will be to her new sibling as my son loves his sister so much and has adjusted better than a lot of siblings I've seen. If you are going to have them share a room then I would start getting it ready ASAP so she has time to adjust BEFORE adjusting to a sibling. Who knows she may want to help and be excited in setting up a crib and making room for her little brother or sister. Make it exciting and fun focus on how fun the new sibling will be and how she can help you. Right now the opposite sex thing is not a problem. I shared a room with my brother until I was about 8 and I rember my mom had a folding screen in the corner that we would change behind, when it broke we learned to take turns changing clothes and PJs or use the bathroom.

E.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

We are also expecting baby #2 and so are thinking of similar logistics in our home. With only the info you provided, this would be my choice...

Move home office to guest bedroom space. If possible, put futon there for an extra sleeping space when needed.

Turn current home office into room for baby.

Our children will be 4 years apart and there is no way I would have them share a room at this point if not absolutely necessary. We have worked too hard to teach our son to be a good sleeper...plus, he needs his own space. As does the new baby.

Do you really have guests so often that you need a room permanently set aside? Your children are an important part of your family and will be there everyday. They need their own space, if you can do it.

Good luck and congrats on the pregnancy!

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M.S.

answers from Boise on

My "baby #2" was twins. I had boy/girl twins. For a few months they stayed in our room, but then we moved them into my son's room. He was 3 at the time too. There weren't any problems at all. He was excited to share the room with his siblings and they shared rooms until the twins were almost 2. Then we moved our daughter into her own room and left the two boys to share their room still to this day.

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L.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When I was an infant, my parents put my crib in a closet...The boy girl thing is not an issue yet, I have a 6-girl and a 2-boy that share and she just gets dressed in the bathroom. When my oldest was 2, we put her 3 month old sister in a bedroom with her. She woke up when the baby cried for about four days, and I just had my husband put her back down while I nursed the baby. After that, she didn't even wake up. They are awfully tired in the night. They had to nap in separate rooms for a while, or they wouldn't go to sleep, but it should work to put them in together. Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Denver on

Hello C.!
We are in a similiar situation but we now have 3 and have had to be creative. How about moving your husband's office to the basement guest room? I know you would loose the guest room but you could wait to do it after using the bassinet so anyone staying with you to help with the baby will still have a room to stay in. Once the baby is older, you could move both children into the same room with a bunk and reclaim a guest room. Also, you may consider purchasing a couch that converts to a bed so there is at least an option for guests. You need to think of your immediate family first and their comfort and needs rather than the occasional guest (this was advice to me that it took me some time to realize its worth!). Hope this is helpful!

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