To Share or Not to share...a Room

If possible, I think everyone should have their own room. My twins are 11 months, so they share a room. When they are in twin beds, they will have their own rooms. I plan on putting two twin beds in each room. If they want to sleep in the same room they can. When we have company, there is still a place for the boys and the guest to sleep. I loved my privacy growing up. I think children need space to become individuals.

Good luck!

I have a friend who has a 5 & 2 year old (both with May BD) with separate rooms. They asked if they could share one room and put all their toys in the other room. They even said that when they want back in their own room, they will tell her.
I would say, keep the guest room since you have the room, and let them share until you sense they need their separate space. They will enjoy the togetherness when they know that they can always have their own space if they want.

The problem of sharing is that when one is sick, the other gets sick. If one wakes up so does the other. Having their own room makes for some quite time for both.l Guests can stay almost anywhere they are guests and know that you have two children. Have a fold out chair or couch and they can use that.

my daughters started sharing a room just before their 4th and 2nd bdays. we had just moved here and were planning on getting a 3 bed. house to rent but using the 3rd bed. as a playroom/guest room, but then we found a 2 bed house that we loved so they HAD to share a room LOL
but it's worked out great for us! they have had to learn to clean up everything together and share everything and I think it's made them closer. they giggle and talk and sometimes fight before bed, but it usually only takes one time of me firmly saying it's time for sleep before they quiet down. the only thing I don't like is when one of them is sick and wakes the other during the night. but I think they've both become deeper sleepers because of that. and bedtime hasn't been an issue b/c they go to bed at the same time since they're so close in age. I think it can be a great experience for siblings, especially so close in age! and for us, we plan on having one or 2 more kids in the future, so we will probably always have at least 2 kids sharing a room.
good luck with whatever you decide! you can always do a trial run for 6 mo. and see how it works! oh, and I'd ditch the queen bed and just get 2 twins. we plan on just doing bunk beds once our kids are a couple years older

my daughters each have their own rooms and love having their own individuality. Because of this arrangement we don't have a guest bedroom, so when guests come to visit my older daugter who has a double bed gives up her room and sleeps on my younger daughter's pull out trundle. This arrangement has worked out very well for them and they love having their own rooms.

I think they are too young to be in separate rooms. Let them share and save the other room for your guest room or a room for all the kids to keep their toys and crafts. Nothing like being able to close the door after they pull out their toys. I found this to help in keeping their bedrooms clean. Be sure to set rules about returning toys to the shelves and toy box.

Hubby and I had a 4 bed room home (way back when) and it was 2 story 1 small bedroom/office down stairs, it was the 2 of us and our 2 girls, the girls (in my opinion) were too young to be upstairs alone so the down stairs was an office with a pull-out couch, a TV and a small bin of toys. the 3 upstairs rooms were, 1 was ours, the girls had their own room for a while but, they were ALWAYS a mess SO, I made 1 room the toy/play room and the other room was the bed room, clothes, beds, dressers ONLY, NO TOYS. this kept their room clean so when we put them to bed or checked up on them at night we would not have to worry about stepping on a noisy, painful toy :)

I have a girl and a boy. They have always had their own rooms. They are 4 years apart but never really wanted to sleep in the same room. They would play together but my daughter especially liked having her own space. I would try it. You can always split them if it doesn't work.

We moved into a four bedroom house just so each kid could have their own room. (Well, and the old house had no playroom and tiny bedrooms- no one could have shared if they wanted to!) That said-my two girls who are 28 months apart ended up in the older daughter's double bed almost every night for years. Even now one of them will go to the other if they have a bad dream or just can't sleep. I used to half-joke "if you have a bad dream- go get in bed with your sister- don't wake me". So I think even if you separate them, they will be together. And if you do decide to keep them separate- dont' bother adding a twin bed to the queen room. Just let the baby sleep in the queen bed and when company comes, stick her in the room w/ her older sister. That's what we do. You get separate rooms but if we get to have fun people come stay (un-fun people aren't invited!) then you have to compromise. Now that they are both teenagers, if we have an out of town guest, one of them will just sleep on the couch in the gameroom. I woudln't worry about it too much. From what I can tell-especially in the summer- they like sleeping on the floor as much as anything, especially in front of the TV. Good luck!

When our second child was born, another boy, we thought that the boys should have seperate rooms so they wouldn't disturb each other's sleep. I had a twin bed in the baby's room and would often find my 2-year-old in it by morning-lol They were not disturbing each other's sleep and actually preferred to share a room. That lasted until they were in jr. high school and, with different interests, it kept peace at home by them having seperate rooms at that time.

Hi H.,
I have 3 sons, my oldest is away at college. My two younger sons are 12 and 10. They shared a room up until a year ago. I have a four bedroom house, I had my oldest in his own room as a teen should have their own. Then I have a guest room for my guests. My 12 and 10 year old had a bunk bed for years, but when it became apparent that they were just going to share the bottom bunk I got rid of it and just put a queen which they slept in together. They were together all the time anyway and they enjoyed it.

When my oldest moved out I asked the next oldest if he wanted his brothers room and he decided he was ready to have his own room. I offered them the choice years ago saying if you are bothered by not having your own room I can make the guest room yours and they said no. So now they each have their own room, but for almost 10 years they happily shared. When they are that close in age when they are young they are inseperable, having seperate rooms is a waste of time because they will always be in one room together anyway.

I wish I had put my girls together. The way I see it you can always give them thier own rooms when they are closer to being teens.

They are close enough in age to where one of them isn't so much more mature and has different spatial needs. As long as they can get along and each keep her own things picked up, they should be fine.
Now my girls are 5 years apart and one of them is messier than the other so when they shared a room it was a problem. They each have own at the moment and have had for several years so now they have to find other issues to gripe about. ;-)

My 2 younger boys share a room. We have 4 bedrooms and 3 kids, but I like my "gorilla room" as we call it. They have fun sharing a room and it has brought them closer. We do have some issues as talking at bed time, but for the most part, it is a good deal. We will eventually separate them, but most likely not for a couple of years (I have to figure out something to do with all the stuff in the gorilla room, first). I have lots of friends with plenty of space in the house and all the kids share a room and love it.

I say, go for it!

My two daughters are 3 years apart. They shared a room for just over a year, starting when my youngest turned 2yrs old. I think it led to my youngest becoming very attached to my oldest. My youngest daughter always had much more serious separation anxiety, even all the way up to when she started kinder. We think the separation anxiety was not helped (maybe not caused, but not helped) by little daughter not having to learn separation at bedtime when they shared a room.

I see you have plenty of responses so I will make mine short. I vote for sharing for a while. My boys are very close because of sharing a room. One room was the playroom and one was the bedroom. However, now they are 8 and 10 and this year they have their own bedrooms. We had a new baby and bought a new house with four bedrooms and a game room. The boys shared rooms for about 6 months here at the new house. Our old house was small and we could hear them if they were playing on a school night and could get them to settle down quickly but now they are upstairs and we can't hear them. So we have seperated them. It was hard at first for them but they are now enjoying having their own space. They often have sleepovers in each other's rooms on weekends.

I have a friend with two school age daughters, thier solution has been that the girls have thier own rooms during the school year and in the summer or on school vacations they can share a room. They have that special sister time, but they also learn to be by themself and create thier own space. Seems to be working really well for their family.

There are issues with my granddaughter sharing a room with her sister, one sleeps well and the other not so much, makes it difficult for both of the girls and Mom..........

Kids use the rooms everyday. Company is occasional, I vote for kids using space... Kids can take turns sharing when company comes.
I shared with four younger sisters until sophomore in high school. My older sisters and two brothers had to share, too. Just not enough bedrooms for nine kids! We did not have much overnight company*smiling* even grandparents went to a motel.

I am at the older end of this with my response. I have two girls, 3 years apart. When the youngest was born, we kept them in separate rooms so that getting the baby up through the night didn't disturb our oldest. When she graduated from the crib, we put them in a room together. We only had 3 bedrooms and thought it would be nice to have them share a bedroom, and we used the other for their playroom. When they outgrew the playroom, they were also old enough to have outgrown sharing a room together, so we moved them into individual rooms. This was around the teen years. My girls are grown now, and very close. They tell us they loved the time when they shared a room together.

Why would you put a twin bed in the room, too. Just move the child to the queen bed. Then when friends/family come to visit, have that child sleep in the sibling's room. That's is how it was handled when I was a child. My brother and I both had double beds and when family came to visit we would give up our bed(s) for the visitors. We were the ones who slept on the hid-a-bed when grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. came to visit.

My two youngest are 53 weeks apart and they share a room because I want to keep my guest room. It has not been a bed of roses because their personalities and sleep requirements are so different, i.e. one is a neat-freak and the other is a psycho mess, one is a quiet reader and the other hangs from the rafters until midnight. They have been together since they were babies, and I can't wait until one of the older kids goes off to college so I can separate them.

At one point in our children's lives we lived for 6 months in a two bedroom apt and it killed me even tho it was temporary that they did not have their own rooms. We had three kids, 10, 5 and 2. Our only son was the 5 yr old in the middle.
Well when the six months was up and we went back to our reg. house I worked hard making him his own room and the first night he slept there I heard him crying. When I went in and asked him what? He said why am I being punished? Why do I have to sleep in here by myself?? I nearly fell out.
So the point is that children generally like to be together when they are little. At some point when they are near teen years or something they may need their own space but my kids best memories are from that time when they all slept in the same room.

Well, we have two girls in each room and it works really well. It's very common and I know many families who have three or more children sharing a room! My sister and I each had our own rooms and when my cousin came to live with us (a toddler) my sister refused to share a room with me. She always had a strong sense of MINE. heh So I got a day bed with a trundle and he slept on the trundle.

I think that if you never plan to have more children it might be ok but frankly even if I had enough rooms for each child to have their own bedroom I would still put them two to a room.

I have two boys that shared a room for a long time, up until the last couple of years when my oldest turned 8. If you are going to do it, then do it while they are younger and can form a bond by being that close together. Then when they get a little older and it's apparent that they will need more space and to be seperate, change to having their own rooms again. I say if you're going to do it then maybe turn the second room into a guest room and maybe a play room so as to make it like a treat that they will share a room and have a play room. My sister and I when we were younger were offered by my parents to either share a room and have a play room or to have our own rooms, and we chose the play room and sharing. I think it's a good incentive to make it a little more about the children and less about other people. I mean your childrens' wants and needs should always be above any extra guest. You can always go get a futon that the kids can use as a couch and put a little tv in there for the guests and children. That way everyone can enjoy.

D. H.

Hi H.,
I wanted to let you know that my daughters have shared a room since the youngest was about 8 months old. The girls are 22 months apart. Now they are in Kinder and 2nd grade and are absolute best friends. My sister and I shared a room for a couple of years and she and I are very close. My husbands sisters, who also shared a room, by choice are the best of friends! See my pattern?My girls and my sister and I are total opposites in about every way you could imagine, think Felix and Oscar, but you know, it taught us a lot of things. Tolerance, "working it out", sharing secrets, unselfishness. My girls know that they can go to the playroom or game room if they need to have some time, or they just respect that one needs the room for a while. :) We too, have extra bedrooms, but my girls want to share a room. If they ask to split, then we'll let them, but I think it's the best thing for them. Hope this gives you a little help in your decision!

Get safe bunk beds and have them share a room. It it nice to have the extra space for company, and kids always love bunking. Plus they will be company for each other and they are still young. When they get older, then they can have the option to share a room or not. Maybe it will keep them from getting scared at night. Maybe......

Hi H.,
I would let them have their own rooms. It might be ok for them to share for a little while, but soon your older one will start being possessive of her toys and there may be some sibling rivalry that is unnecessary - if you find they just want to be in the same room, then let them share.
good luck and blessings

I have 3 boys that are now 7, 6, and 4 and they all sleep in the same room. I have tried in the past to separate them, but they all want to sleep in the same room. They would complain that they were scared, lonely, etc.
So I have playroom and then their bedroom (no toys aloud in the bedroom). I decided on bunk beds and a toddler bed, didn't want the room to look cramped. The room had a closet with mirror sliding doors, I took those off and put a big dresser in there (leaves more room when you put a dresser in the closet).
But I know the day will come when one or all of my boys will want their own room. But for now they are content with where they are.
You know I miss my guest room. Now when people come to town, they have to stay with my other family members.
Good luck!

My kids are 2 years apart. They love and want their "own" space and a place they can go to when they want to time alone. Since we have the enough rooms, we prefer that. Each has room for two to sleep in beds. When we have company, the guests stay in the one room and the kids have a blast in other room. I think sharing is fine but since we have the room, we seperate them. The younger one regularly goes into his brohter's room when he is scared and the older feels good about being the protector. It's cute.

Share. Doesn't have to be forever, but is a good learning experience while younger. When they are teens and want more space you can move them apart then.

Keep the guestroom.

My girls are 4 and 2 1/2, and they have shared a room since the younger one was a few months old (when she outgrew the cradle in our room). I usually try to put the younger one down about 20-30 minutes earlier than the older one to give her a chance to go to sleep, but on those rare nights when she's still up for whatever reason when I put the older one down, she is upset because she's in the room by herself! Right now they are in a twin bed and a toddler bed, but relatively soon I'm going to get them bunk beds.

We had our daughters share while they were little. Now the 9 yr old has her own room and the 6y and 3 y share. It has worked out quite nicely. Just try it. It couldn't hurt.

I always shared my room with my sister.... I hated it!!!
I never had another option and there were constant fights, we did not have the best relationship and I think that not having our own space played an important role.

My sister and I had(have) extremely different personalities, she was very clean and tidy and was way more relaxed. I have always needed to sleep more or early, she never cared to sleep on time so I could never sleep because she was doing things, noices, etc.

When we got candies, I always ate mine right away, she would keep hers forever so... I would always look onto her things and stole a lot of them thru the years!

When I wanted to have friends over, was not that fun because we had to be quiet to let my sister sleep (what is the fun in having friends over then?)

Later when we were teenagers, she smoked soooo much and she smoked in the room... it was terrible.

I do believe that our relatioship would have been much much better given the chance of privacy and personal space.

This is MY experience and my thoughs. When she married and I had MY room I was so happy to see her go!

Good luck!

My boys are 3 and 2 yrs old. They're 19 mos apart and they share a room. They love sharing a room. At night they talk to each other and sing. It's so cute but a little annoying when they don't go to sleep! haha! I thought about separating them but I really think it helps them bond. We use our extra room as a playroom instead of a guest room. Good luck!

H.,

My boys (8 and 5) have their own rooms. The 8 year old's has a full sized bed, all his personal items (trophies, ribbons, photos etc.) and his clothing is in the closet. The 5 year old's room has bunk beds, the toys and his clothing. (It's a bigger room - ergo, the bunk beds and toys) They choose to not only sleep in the same room, but the same bed. (the bottom TWIN bunk bed at that!) It doesn't bother us, they like being together, go to sleep just fine and remain sleeping through the night. When we have guests, we automatically use the older child's room which is decorated for a boy, but not in a juvenile fashion. We assume at some point, the 8 year old will want his own space, and he'll be free to move to it when he's ready.

When my son was about 10 months old, he started sleeping with my 5 year old daughter. neither one of them wanted to sleep alone. It worked out GREAT. They love each other so much and my dd is so maternal toward him. He adores her.

She's 7 now and she is about to get her own room. We just feel like she deserves more privacy. My son likes the idea of a new room, but he wants to sleep with sissy. She's happy that he's moving on. It's been so great but it's time to change and that is good, too.

For most of history and still in most of the world, siblings do not get their own rooms. I don't see what is wrong with sharing, even if just to have more free space in the house. I say go for it and if it doesn't work, they'll let you know!

I think when your girls are young it would be a great experience for them. It teaches them to share and be respectful of others. When your girls get to be around middle school age, I think it would be best to let them have their own room. I shared a room with my sister for 17 years and we are polar opposites. Once I was middle school age, I would have given anything for my own room. My sister and I did everything differently, and I could never have my own personal space or quiet time. This is just my experience. I hope it helps. Good luck!

Our two oldest girls are three years 3 months apart and they started sharing a room when the younger one was almost 2 years old and it has always been a beautiful thing. The girls are best friends and support each other. They chose to keep sharing a room now that they're in elem and middle school ages because they love to talk to each other at night. I think it's a sweet thing and I'm glad that they have each other. They're more bonded and close to each other and that's something that money can't buy. Use the extra room for guests, storage, and special projects (maybe sewing or something else you like).

Our two daughters share a room and our boys each have their own. I know they like being with someone at times but they also get on each others nerves at times. At their age Im sure they would like some private time. One of the biggest problems is that one of my daughters are extremly neat and the other one is very messy- its a big room and they each have their own side but the difference is night and day.
I would recomend at their young age have them share but when they get older to let them have seperate rooms. Always have this in mind and when they get tired of each other -then make the change.

Hi!
Great question. We have two girls and they share a room. They are almost 3 years apart, so the oldest was by herself until the younger one was about 2 1/2 and started sleeping in a big bed. We had a bunk bed for them at first, our room was also quite small. Now they are 9 and 6 and have their own side of the room with their bed.
I think that for sisters sharing a room is a great idea. They will get on each other's nerves sometimes but overall it teaches them how to get along.

Sharing a room is a good experience. It teaches them many things at this age. The down side is that you have to be involved in the teaching process and therefore you will called upon more to settle disputes. So, good for them, more work for you. I thought about having a play room and a bedroom at one time. We decided against it; but I'm in a different situation than you are. I would say, discuss pros and cons again with hubby, then follow his lead.