T.Y.
Hi L., I can understand not wanting to see your child in pain. I hate taking my son for his shots but I do it because I know that as much as children love their dads they usually want their moms when they are hurt. But you don't need to be so hard on yourself. Maybe you need to talk to someone about this problem. Do you think it is because your husband takes charge that you don't? Why do you go in the corner and cry? To escape having to look her in the eyes? I had to witness them strap my son down to a bed for a routine dental procedure and it nearly made me throw up. I was so distraught that they wouldn't let me stay with him, I felt that I abandoned him. I didn't know what to do. I was physically sick with anxiety and stress. I also had to hold down my nephew so that they could give him stitches when he was very young. These things are heartbreaking but your child needs you the most at these times. I am not being harsh, I hope you don't think that. But you need to pull yourself together, do whatever you need to do. Tell yourself that your child needs you now more than ever, pray about it, whatever it takes to draw courage and be there for your child. Don't let yourself walk away. Did you ever think that your face, your voice, just the smell of you could possibly help take away some of the pain? I was almost 20 years old when I had a bad skiing accident and all I wanted was to go home to my mother. My mother and I didn't even have a great relationship then. A child wants their mother when they are in pain or in need. You need to be strong and tell your child that it's going to be ok. I think it's great that your husband handles things so well but you really need to be there too. And I know you want to be. You have to make yourself do it. If you can't look her in the eyes, then just stand or sit by her head and whisper in her ear. Even if she continues to cry and scream (she will probably calm down a little when she hears you), she will definitely feel better knowing you are there to comfort her. I know that this is a hard thing but I can't even imagine being a small child and feeling abandoned by the one person you looked to most in the world. Talk to a therapist if you need to. Or just make yourself stay by her side, don't let yourself walk away. And if you find yourself in the corner, make yourself go back to her. I think you should start with the shots, if you can't handle that you won't be able to handle the big stuff when it happens. Good luck.
