Finding Myself

I spoke with a career coach a few times and it helped HUGELY!!! I feel confident in the field I am in and understand myself so much more which helps me make decisions better and more clearly. Highly recommend this experience.

Alyson is who I found and LOVED!!!
____@____.com

Stephaniee,
You are definitely not alone. I went back to work almost two years ago after almost 18 years out of the work force. I decided to start slowly and didn't jump at the first opportunity......and I did have opportunities! You have been working hard for the last 12 years and you DO have skills. Skills that are much desired by an employer. You have been managing a crew all that time, organizing, and I'm going to bet you have done volunteer work at the school or at a place of worship. Make a resume and include all that. Then, on the resume take a paragraph to explain why you are returning to the work force. An experienced, and most likely dependable, person is something to admire. You have skills!
Take time to sit down and think about what you would enjoy. Library? Office? Restaurant (they need management too)? You have seen lots of women that have started their own small businesses on Mammasource. I'm one of them!
Put the word out to everyone you know that you are getting back in the game. You never know who knows someone looking.
One more thing. I'm sure you did lose yourself a bit. I certainly did. Who has time for self when so many peoples needs depend on you? It's a process. Take your time. The first step is the thought, and you are already there!
Best of Luck,
P.
www.shaklee.net/healinghappens

When my only child (now 14) started K, I was lost.

I threw myself into volunteering at the school and found that I was quite good with the students. The principal saw me there all the time, she asked me about substituting.

It was perfect...sub at the school where my daughter was. I've been doing this in the PISD at 1 school only since 2000. Most of my jobs are planned in advance and i get very few of the late night/early am calls.

Even since my daughter moved on to middle school, I still sub at the same elementary. They allow me to come in a little later, after I get her to school. It has been a wonderful opportunity I have enjoyed and made a little money.

Now.....DO NOT do this if you are looking to make money, it is just a little check but I get my hair done, nails, etc with that money. While you are "finding yourself" now.....GO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU.....get a mani/pedi, massage, or something nice and relaxing for you.

I also believe it is very important to also be home for children as they get older. I would miss so many things that go on with daughter if I worked full time outside the home.

Also, think about the added expenses of gas, car upkeep, clothing, meals, entertainment that are involved with working outside the home. With subbing, I can be casually dressed and grab a bite in the cafeteria.

One thing about working within the shcool is the added knowledge you get "behind the scenes" which can dramatically help your children. Now, I will not sub at middle school or higher. Those kids are bigger than me and that does not interest me. I admire the teachers in the secondary levels.

Good luck!

Hello S.,
I'm sorry you feel lost. That is not a good feeling. I humbly suggest that you try to look at it in another way. You were putting yourself last! In service of others: your children. What greater calling is there than that!!! Because you had 4 children, your "job" has been to care for them....to see they are brought up properly according to your desires for their lives. And that is what you have been doing! Your "job" has been caring for them! Now, you want to continue in that but add another "job" outside the home. You will do great, I just know it!
I encourage you to find something that you love, as then it will not be a "job," but a calling.

Every sincere good wish is sent your way!

I, too think it's all in the attitude. What a great thing you've done for all these years and frankly what a better world we'd live in if more did it. I agree w/Mary C. You are not lost, you'll only change your 'job description' and add more (if you choose to work outside the home). I wish society saw the importance of SAHMs so we never felt like we should question our worthiness or feel the need to get a "real" job. One more thing...what's wrong w/"losing yourself" in your child's laughter, tears, triumphs, etc....not to sound corny, but if I were you, I'd start trying to realize your importance. There is nothing that will fulfill you, if you can't see that! Good luck to you. I've not read it, but maybe read In Praise of Stay at Home Moms....bet it'd help.

go to your local library! there are books and classes about computer skills and how to job search/resumes/interviewing. then you can research different careers and see what interests you. "what color is your parachute?" is a fabulous book for starters.

update: please don't let others make you feel bad for wanting to work! some of us just don't want to stay at home forever, if at all. it's a choice! let us make it! yes do the math and figure out if it's worth it for certain jobs, but if it is and you would like the job, take it! i've been the SAHM and the full time working mom and now the part time working mom and i can tell you that i am happier working and can't wait to find a full time job now that my 5 yr old will be in school full time. if you want to do this, do it and don't let anyone talk you out of it! fyi: i've glanced thru the dr. laura book mentioned on this site lately. it's basically a guilt trip to stay home. not a good read!

I don't have any concrete advice, but I just wanted to offer you encouragement! Taking care of your family is a great thing to do, but developing yourself and your calling in the world is important, too. I'm not a SAHM--never have been, never will be, admire those who can, but I would go crazy. I was blessed to find my calling as a teacher in my 20's, and hope to never give it up. Looking back at my own mom's experience, she went back to work when my sister started kindergarten. I've had folks ask me if I resented that, and I'm always surprised by the question. Yes, I went to a friend's house to play after school 3 days a week (or that's how I thought of it), but more importantly I remember how happy and fulfilled my mom was that she had found a job (as a librarian) that she really loved, and (I now know from adult conversations) got a sense of independence and self-worth from her job that really transformed our family. My mom was a great role model, and taught me that it's possible to be a great mom AND follow my dreams--I hope you can do that, too! GL!

Even though the children are in school, they still need you. I would suggest you try some classes while they are in school to find out what you enjoy doing, or try to get a job as school so you will be there when they are and off when they are off. Q: do you really want them coming home to an empty house? You job description may be changing, but you are still responsible for their education (ie: what they learn at school and how to be a responsible adult) And if they get involved with sports, dance, etc...will you be working when something special comes up?
Also, figure in what it will cost you to go to work. Some Moms find out with taxes, gifts, gas, clothes etc...it costs more to work outside the home. Like you tell your kids: Do your homework.