Finger Sucking

Updated on March 23, 2008
A.K. asks from Dermott, AR
30 answers

My daughter is almost 5 yrs old and she is still sucking on her first two fingers. We tried to get her to take a pacifier when she was a baby, but all she wanted was her fingers. We've tried putting the nasty tasting liquid on her fingers. That just made everything she touched taste nasty, it didn't stop her from putting them in her mouth. We've tried to just remind her to take them out, used gloves and bandaids. Nothing seems to work. Any suggestions?

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T.S.

answers from Little Rock on

Had the same problem. Mine did it more often when they were tired. Sometimes they didn't even notice they were doing it! None of that other stuff worked for us either.

Try making a rule that she can only suck them on her bed. Whenever she's sucking them, send her there, even if she says she's "done". (set a timer for 5-10 minutes in that case).

Alternately, until the gets the "hang" of the new rule, remind her of the rule and give her the choice. Stay "out" and do whatever else she wants (within reason) or go to her bed to suck them. Eventually she'll lose interest.

Either way, don't get upset or excited about it, just very matter of factly send her off. "That's just where we do that".

Hope it helps. Good luck.

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N.A.

answers from Fayetteville on

If it makes you feel any better, I was also a 2 finger sucker and nothing worked for me. Eventually I just stopped but not because of all those nasty things my mom tried. She gave up trying and then I gave it up. I never needed braces so it couldn't have been that bad of a habit.:)

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H.L.

answers from Jackson on

My friend said that there was something like a retainer that the denist could make that would prevent it. She comes from a family of thumb suckers, and they had to do that with her sister. Hope this helps a little.

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J.C.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

When we (psychologists) see clients with issues such as this, we try to use a behavior modification program that rewards the child when they do not do the behavior. Try a token system, you can use a jar with marbles, sticker chart, puzzle pieces, silk flowers in a vase, be creative...

When you see her doing the behavior, simply and calmly tell her to stop. If she stops for 10 minutes, give her a token (whatever it is you have chosen) and next time you see her do it ask her to stop again and after 10 minutes give her another token. You can start lengthening the amount of time she has to stop sucking her fingers on a weekly basis once she understands the concept. So the first week reward for 10 mins no fingers in mouth, second week 15 minutes, 3 week 20, and so on, or whatever time periods work for you. When she has a certain number of tokens (you can decide how many) give her a reward (to be predetermined by you and your child).
Example: When you earn 10 tokens, you can have a new book, DVD, toy, go out for ice cream, etc. (whatever she likes).

In a few weeks, the behavior should diminish and eventually will go away completely. It is imperative that you are extremely consistent if you do this, or else the behavior will not go away. It takes effort, but the rewards are well worth it.

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S.E.

answers from New Orleans on

I use to work for a pedo dentist, we would always tell the parents to try some kind of rewards program. Get a calender (one she picks out) and some sickers.Everyday that she does't put her fingers in her mouth she gets a sticker, then if she goes one week without her fingers she gets do something she loves to do or gets something she likes. You can also ask your dentist about an appliance that goes in the there mouth that helps most kids from sucking there thumbs and fingers, we called it a thumbsucking appliance. Good luck :)

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K.R.

answers from Little Rock on

When our oldest was about 4 or 5, we tried just about everything to get her to stop sucking her thumb. You mentioned that you tried bandaids to no avail, that that's what worked for us. We put the ugly brown ones on first, then cute character bandaids on top. It only took about 2 weeks of her tasting those yucky bandaids and she was done sucking her thumb!

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T.R.

answers from Texarkana on

I am in the same situation. My daughter is almost 5 and still sucks her thumb. We actually got her to stop for a couple of months by rewarding her with pennies and stickers (two of her favorite things) for not sucking her thumb for short periods of time. We did the rewards for about 2 weeks and she quit. But then she got real sick and went back to sucking her thumb. We haven't got her to quit again, but the reward idea might work for you.
Traci R

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R.H.

answers from Little Rock on

My son also sucked his fingers. My husband and I tried everything and nothing worked. He started as a baby, never wanted a pacifer. He went through daycare and still sucked his fingers. But, the summer before he was to start kindergarten at 5 yrs. old he stopped! On his own, I looked at my husband and ask him if he noticed Brandon hadn't sucked his finger in the past couple of days. We decided not to make a big deal out of it. We never mentioned in front of him. He is now in the 2nd grade and has no memory of it. Take her to regular dental appointments, stop making a big deal out of it and just give her time.

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M.C.

answers from Jonesboro on

Since she is as old as she is, one suggestion that might actually work at this point is a positive reward system (or some might call it good old-fashioned bribery)! I was still sucking my thumb at night time when I was in 1st grade, and Mom had also tried everything. I was REALLY wanting to get my ears pierced, so Mom told me if I quit sucking my thumb, she would take me to get them pierced. Sure enough, it worked--I quit, she got my ears pierced, and that was the end of that! I know it might seem like a last straw to "bribe" a kid into giving up a bad habit, but the way Mom put it to me was that if I was grown-up enough to quit sucking my thumb at night, then I was also grown-up enough to have my ears pierced like a big girl. Maybe there is something important to your daughter that would make her feel like a "big girl" that you could have her prove by giving up the finger sucking. Kids DO eventually outgrow things like this someday, but if you want it to happen sooner rather than later, you have to try everything first. Some things, they do have control over, and control of other things only come with physical maturity. The finger sucking is definitly something she can control at her age, so offering her a reward system for giving it up might work better as a positive reinforcement than all of the negative reinforcements that haven't worked so far. It's like the difference between offering the child a reward for doing something expected of her rather than simply punishing her for not doing it. Sometimes, you want one or the other, but if the outcome is the main concern, go with whatever works. I hope this helps!

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E.W.

answers from Montgomery on

I am a 57 yo mother of two--ages 30 and 20. Both were thumbsuckers. With the oldest we tried everything--tying on a sock which he eventually got off. We tried putting the nasty tasting solution--which he licked off and cried until he got it all off. He lost a lot of sleep.We did a lot of things that called attention to this habit. When we consulted his pediatrician he said when we found something that worked--let him know and we could share the royalties. One day while shopping my son was sucking his thumb and some young boys laughed at him and he soon stopped in public.

With our youngest we did nothing to stop her and did nothing to bring attention to it. She eventually grew out of sucking her thumb in front of other children and in public. But she continued to suck her thumb in bed and when she slept.

I think as parents we worry too much about this. My son also started pulling patches of hair out the more we tried to stop him. Is thumbsucking that bad? It doesn't look good and the finger stinks and gets flat. But, I think we can do more damage by trying to stop something that is so internal than good.

My brother sucked two fingers also and so did my sister. They soon stopped as they got older. I think the less attention you bring to it the sooner they will stop.

May God grant you peace and to a decision you and your child can live with. My daughter would not accept a pacifier, so we stopped trying. Remember sonograms show babies sucking their thumb/fingers in the womb--so you will be fighting a formidable enemy--something that starts in the womb.

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E.B.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My sister sucked her thumb until she was 5, when she started kindergarten she stopped. I believe it had to do with the other children probably teasing her about sucking her thumb. I know that sounds really cruel, but a childrens peers are the biggest influence on their behavior, especially at that age. Nothing that my parents did could stop my sister from sucking her thumb and the ever went to the extreme of rubbing a Scotch bonnet (a really hot pepper) on her thumb and she would just suck it off.
She will eventually give it up, it's just going to take time.

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D.B.

answers from Jackson on

I used to work in an orthodontic lab. Talk to your Dentist. They can make an appliance for her that will prevent her from sucking her fingers or thumb. If it doesn't stop, you may have a big Orthodontic bill when her permanent teeth come in. Good Luck.

D.

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D.B.

answers from Little Rock on

An orthodontist put a thumb bar in my daughter's mouth. It took about 3 months. It seemed drastic at the time, but the roof of her mouth was starting to arch.

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S.V.

answers from Birmingham on

Hi A.!

I would definitely speak with your Dentist about that, or your Pediatrician. They might be able to recommend something that they know has worked for other children.

If it's any consolation our middle son sucked his pointer finger & would rub the tag in the back of his shirt at the same time. He did this for several years, because we took his pacifier away when he got a cold, while just a baby. We did that trying to avoid the attachment to the pacifier. However, that backfired, and he sucked the finger much longer than he probably would have a pacifier!

We tried all the liquids & bandaids too, but nothing worked, except time. The Dr.'s told me not to worry about it, that it was his "comfort", and he would grow out of it eventually.

The best advice I can give you is to just relax! She'll stop it when she's ready!

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T.S.

answers from Texarkana on

Have you try to talk to your Doctor on this? Have you taken
her picture when she does this and show her how she looks when she does it, and then take a picture of a friends child and show her that they do not do that,sometimes this works,if you would point out other children and show her they don't do it , and she wants to be a -big-girl .

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L.F.

answers from Montgomery on

Since she is too young to understand that she is sucking her college education away, (you will be spending it on orthodondists instead), ask your dentist about a guard to place in her mouth at night. I have tried everything as well, you are not alone! My daughter sucked through the surgical tape and still sucked while it was soaking wet! Nothing seemed to work for us, but it gets better, she's 11 and only sucks at night, LOL. (joking about it getting better)

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J.C.

answers from Shreveport on

Try a reward chart- with stickers or a piece of candy for not sticking her fingers in her mouth

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C.H.

answers from Birmingham on

I don't know if this system will work for the finger sucking but it worked great to get my 4 & 5 year old to stop hitting each other. Start your daughter off with 5 stars a day & give her a goal to keep those stars. Each time she sucks her fingers take a star away. If she is able to keep at least 4 stars let her pick any toy she wants from the dollar store, if she keeps 3 stars or less give her a sticker to place in a sticker book. If she loses all stars than obviously there is no reward. You can tailor the star system any way that works best for you, either by week or start with more or less stars. My boys try real hard to keep their stars in order to get that toy.

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R.W.

answers from Tulsa on

well, this may not seem like advice to you but as a thumbsucker... My parents, like u, tried everything under the sun w/ me and nothing worked. I was 12 before I quit. It was a decision I made on my own [I think or maybe it just kinda happened that way, I'm not exactly sure] but I never needed braces or had any other problems because of it. My daughter, who is 9, also sucks her thumb. So, I do nothing about it, but make her take it out when she talks. And if she says she wants to quit [like she has a time or two] I'll just remind her, and then after a few times of reminding she tells me she doesn't want me to remind her anymore and I stop. I know it can be frustrating, but giving her a hard time about it only reinforces her 'need' to suck more.

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R.S.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Hi A., she's probably about to the age where she will quit on her own...my youngest sucked his fingers as well. When he started kindergarten he went to only doing it at home, cos the kids teased him....eventually we noticed that he would only suck them in that sorta awake/sorta asleep state...eventually he quit all together. His teeth are beautiful w/o braces and his fingernails are not flat...he's almost 21 now.....just be patient, she'll quit on her own...just keep reminding her she's a big girl and encourage her to stop....good luck....R.

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S.C.

answers from Biloxi on

Hi,

Don't worry about it. I have a seven year old little girl who still sucks her thumb, and I was almost 9 before I stopped sucking my thumb. My mom even had an adult friend who sucked her thumb at night. It never caused problems with her social life, since she had long since stopped doing it during the day. That is the worst case senario. The worst thing you can do is to make a big deal out of it. Just be patient with her. She won't walk down the aisle sucking her fingers ;-).

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V.R.

answers from Lafayette on

My sister who is a year younger than I used to suck her index finger. I don't know what your family dynamic is but my sister was the middle child and my mom had another daughter right after her who was really sick. My mom had to give her attention to that child and it kind of left her to emotionally fend for herself. She said that the finger sucking was her security and comfort. Like you my parents tried everything but she stopped when it didn't feel so secure like when she started school and feared being teased. She stopped and never did it again. Try not to give the situation too much attention. When doing it doesn't feel right to her she will stop. When she does stop let it be on her own terms...theoretically her fingers-sucking isn't really hurting anyone.

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S.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

My daughter sucked her thumb and we tried everything. I hate to say it but she will eventually feel embarrased to do it in front of others and so she will stop. My daughter sucked her thumb when she went to sleep up until she was probably 13. She stopped doing it in public after starting school. She is 21 now and it didn't hurt her in any way. We can't do anything to there fingers like we can when they have a pacifier and I to tried to get her to suck one of them instead. Nothing worked, I feel the best thing to do is kind of just let it go and she will figure it out. Unless it is hurting her in some way, it is ok. I have 4 children and she is the only one who did that but I learned it didn't hurt her so why worry to much about it.

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B.S.

answers from Hattiesburg on

There is a natural need to suck that balances the brain chemistry and calms the child. Usually that is satisfied with breastfeeding. If a child is not breastfed, that need may be harder so satisfy. I personally was not breastfed, and had the same issue. I sucked my thumb until I was at least 5 or six. My parents tried everything too, and nothing worked, until the need to suck was over and then I stopped. I am 53 now and I still remember this process! I remember not wanting to be embarrassed be sucking my thumb. The embarrassment caused me to quit. However, I still took my "doll-doll" around with me. I used to hold her and suck my thumb. She was ragged and threadbare when I finally gave her up! B. S. R.N.CCM.

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C.C.

answers from Birmingham on

Not sure if this will help, but.... My Daughter is 9 and finally stopped sucking her thumb last summer. We tried everything! Even telling her that her friends would make fun of her, but she only did it after school & when she was tired. Her dentist told her she would maybe have to have braces and before that put a wire contraption in her mouth where she could only eat soft foods (we told her that meant baby food). She stopped a week later. All I can say is have Patience & Good Luck! If you need a great dentist hers is Dr. Lauri Williams in Alabaster. C. C

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A.B.

answers from Shreveport on

Hey, my son who is 5 yrs old is still sucking his two middle fingers but now only when he is tired or in bed. My suggestion is dont make it a big deal. I talked to my doctor about it when he was smaller and she said that there was really nothing that you can do. They have to decide to stop and one day they will. She said that she was a thumb sucker and caught herself even when she was a teen sucking her thumb at night. Your daughter my like the attention it is giving her from you. If you ignore the behavior it may decrease. Hope I helped in some way.

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A.C.

answers from Jonesboro on

It's a comfort deal, and many children grow out of it by the time they are 6 or so, but it is really also, not that big of a deal. One thing you might want to have checked, if she doesn't grow out of it soon, is to see if she has a diviated septum (sp?), where the nose isn't shaped right on the inside. I have one, and my main reason for keeping my thumb in my mouth was to keep it propped open, because I couldn't breath through my nose, and using my toungue to help only exhausted it. Just a suggestion. If she does have one, they will porobably suggest surgery on her nose to make everything straightened out, and so she can breath. Good Luck, whatever the reason!!!! (but please don't bully her out of it. If it's a comfort thing, then it's like taking away a favorite blanket or stuffed animal)

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H.K.

answers from Oklahoma City on

This is a comfort thing for your child... she will stop when she is ready... I don't know why people make such a big deal about kids sucking on their fingers or their thumbs... I STILL find myself sucking on a finger or a thumb from time to time and I am 36 years old... yes I just admitted to being a finger/thumb sucker at my age... I have very nice teeth... it didn't ruin me... just don't make a big deal out of it with your child and when she is ready to stop doing it, she will... just be glad she isn't one of these kids that still has a paci in her mouth... ugh...

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K.S.

answers from Birmingham on

My son is 2 years old(3 in April) and a thumbsucker. I recently purchased a device called a thumbguard. It is simply a piece of medical grade plastic that is put over his thumb and strapped on by the bracelets like you get from the hospital. This company also makes fingerguards which work the same way. We started Friday afternoon and thus far all is well. They have to wear it 24/7 for 3-4 weeks, but if it works, then it will be well worth it. It goes for $75 on the website http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId.... I actually purchased mine on ebay for $50 with free shipping. It may be worth looking into, and if you would like, i will keep you posted on my son's progress. Goodluck!!

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K.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Another mom on here told me to try something that is completely safe. She said to put a lot of fingernail polish remover on their finger or fingers in your case and wash it off very good so there is no residue left on there and when they try to suck it it will have a very disgusting taste on it that they wouldn't want to suck it anymore if you keep doing it. She also said if you don't believe it you can try it on yourself first so that you can see what she is talking about.

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