First Time Stepdad

A friend of mine is getting married next month. She has 2 children that her fiance really loves like his own children. At the start of the ceremony when the minister asks, Who gives this woman to this man?", the brides father will say, "Her mother and I.". Then the groom is going to call the kids (5 & 7) to come up and stand by their mother. The groom will ask their permission to marry their mother (he is really hoping they say yes, lol) then he will give each of the kids rings and promise to love their mother and them and be their dad in every way.

I think this is great!

I would agree with a bracelet or locket/heart necklace.....

Or..... a family I know of that adopted a boy last summer gave him a "Forever Family" ring.....

http://sweetmarie83.hubpages.com/hub/The-History-and-Mean...

It was an Irish Claddagh ring... all three (M., dad, and son) wear their ring always......

Dads are perfectly welcome here. :)

I would hold off on getting her a gift like you describe, unless she already sees you as a father figure. As a girl who was abandoned by her mother as a young child, I HATED when my stepmom tried to go all "mom" on me right off the bat. I did eventually grow to love her, but it takes time. Rather than a gift, I would say to SHOW your intent by making sure to keep any promises you make, be honest with her at all times, show respect to her mom, and make an effort to be at any programs/sports/recitals she may have.

Maybe go for the gift on an anniversary later on, after you have a relationship built up already.

Good luck, and congratulations. :)

You're certainly welcome here.

I am neither a step parent, nor a stepchild. But I love the Pandora bracelet idea. Simple. Elegant. Room to grow... along with your relationship with her. It will grow with time. And as you figure her out (as Julie mentioned)...as you learn to "get" her... you can add charms that represent that.

You could even present it to her with the explanation that as you learn to understand her, to "get" her, over time, that you will be able to fill up her bracelet. But for now, it is the promise of the future. It's your promise to understand her. To value her.
Talk with your fiance about the best way and words that will be meaningful for your soon to be daughter. And follow through. Don't promise to fill it up and then fail to pay attention and recognize what is important in her life and not do anything else with it.

Personally... I think charms added later (that are thought out and appropriate) would be most meaningful being given to her out of the blue. No musical notes after a piano recital... you know? Just... listen to her practicing and one day, when she is wrapping up, tell her how much you enjoy hearing her play, what a gift she has (if she does), be aware of the joy she gets from playing, and THEN give her a music charm. (just as an example).
But that's just me.

Anyway,
Congratulations.

Start her a charm bracelet. Like a Pandora.
You can start with a bracelet, O. or two spacers and a special charm like a heart, or a moon, star, flower...
Statue? Have you ever seen Willowtree Angels? Check out a Hallmark store. There might be O. if a mom, dad and daughter.... You could add O. for special occasions.
I've never been a stepfather --haha--but I had an amazing O.!
He won my love by being a friend, a calm steady presence, and a loving husband to my mom while maintaining the appropriate boundaries of appropriate actions toward her around me. I was about 13 when he came into my life. He came into it like a gentle rain, not a lightning bolt.
Take it slow. Don't put pressure on her.
The relationship will develop and strengthen over time, not in a minute.
Good luck!

Write her a letter. Long hand.

:)

Part of our ceremony was gifts to the kids. My husband figured these out with me. My daughter got a locket so she could put a picture in, just the kind of girl she is. She likes jewelry. My son loves all things mechanical so we got him a pocket watch where you could see all the gears moving. To us it was more about saying I get you, I will always try to get you. That is what kids want to be understood by the man that is marrying their mom. Sorry but it isn't about what means a lot to you, and understanding her should mean more to you than a gift

Definitely go with a bracelet. Pandora a are great. You can just keep adding. First charm could just be "family."
Congratulations.

God bless you! I wonder if a ring of a heart would be something to consider. Just like a wedding ring represents unending love. Maybe even put stones that are her birthstone, yours and her mom's.

I pray The Lord blesses your marriage and family. I am a step mom and it's an amazing journey.

Blessings!
L.

You are so thoughtful! How about a charm bracelet? This will be something you give her charms to add to throughout the years as you two grow and build a relationship together. Maybe a nice poem to tie in with the gift.

I agree with Marie. Reread her advice. Don't look like you're trying too hard.

(Apparently I don't know what a "statue" is.)

I think a charm bracelet might be nice -- the kind that you add charms to. Start her off with three charms, and one of them should be a charm representing Dad. Are you going to be Dad? Does she think of you as Dad? If so:

https://www.google.com/search?q=father+daughter+heart+cha...

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I would suggest that whatever you do, you run it by your fiance for her feedback. The idea is yours, but she'll have a better idea of what would be well received.

I actually don't think a statue is a bad idea. There is a beautiful line of simple figures called Willow Tree and here is their father& daughter figure:

http://www.willowtree.com/Father-and-Daughter/26031,defau...

When one of my friends got married, she had two daughters already (they were actually her nieces who she had adopted) and her husband gave them both a small, simple ring (gold with their birthstone) and him giving them the rings was part of their wedding ceremony. Their anniversary was this week and my friend posted a pic from the wedding of her hand and her daughters' hands with their rings on. Something like that or a charm bracelet might be nice. Alex & Ani charm bracelets are very popular right now (at least around here) and you might find something from that line that she would actually wear vs. just save in her jewelry box.

Have you thought about a promise ring? One of the fathers in the movie Courageous did this for his daughter.

I LOVE isn'tthisfun's idea! We got my GD one of those bracelets and we enjoy buying charms for special occasions and she LOVES getting them!

Here's my take on that. I am personally (as a SM and as a former SD) am not a fan of a big "I'll never leave you" gift. You show that over time with your actions.

Before our wedding, what I did was put a heartfelt note in a frame for each child, and had the photographer take a photo of just me and the kid. Then each child got a copy for the frame. I felt it was a token of my caring and love for them, without going overboard making vows to them. I was making vows to their father. I would give her something like that or a simple, age-appropriate necklace.

go with what you feel she might like, so many people complain about "fathers" ,that "dads" are often overlooked or discounted..just as there is a difference between "mothers" and "moms" are is a difference between "fathers" and "dads" ..K. h.