Fits of Rage

This may sound harsh, but this is what my friend did with her son who was having horrid ugly tantrums:
She put him in his room and shut the door. She found that the more she tried to console, comfort, appease, yell, etc. that he just continued to freak out. It was like kindling to a fire. She was putting energy into his tantrum.
Once she started putting him in his room and ignoring it-it took a few times-his tantrums got shorter and more infrequent. After he completely spent his anger, they had a cuddle and talked about it and ways that he express himself w/o getting so worked up.
I am sorry you are going through this. I hope this or something works for you and your family.

E.

Hi A.! We are experiencing the same issue with my daughter, who just turned three. We've had a lot of transition in our lives lately (moved to CA and new baby sis to name a few) so we are trying to "cope". What I do is put her in the timeout closet (it's big and well lit) and tell her not to come out until she has calmed down. I explain to her that her behavior is unacceptable and that we do not reward bad behavior. I also tell her after the fact that it is ok to be mad but that she has to learn how to calm herself down and deal with it. Don't know if she gets it or not but after about 15 minutes she comes out wanting to apologize and asking me if "I'm happy". These fits are hard to listen to; it makes me question my parenting. I tell myself she's just trying to push my buttons. Some kids have to learn the hard way! I also hope she grows out of it. Good luck!

This might sound odd but sometimes you need to startle the child to break the tamtrum. HItting and biting are absolutely not allowed so if you say "NO" very loudly and that doesn't get his attention douse him with water(sometimes a hand flick of a few drops will do it). This usual gets a reaction from an out of control child. Dry him off and into time out he goes. Be firm and set a timer. Water doesn't hurt the child, but does get his attention. This works with animals too. If you don't like the idea of water, then get a track starter, a whistle, a gong. Your will will have to be stronger then his. You must make it absolutely clear that any hitting or biting will not be allowed and whatever you are doing ceases at that instant and into time out he goes. If you have to leave the shopping cart, so be it. If you have to leave the restaurant, so be it. If you have to leave grandma's, the party, the zoo, what ever it is, you leave immediately. The results of the tantrum must be clear cut and immediately applied. You must be firm and your resolve must be firm. Do not give in to whining, pleading, etc. The child must know that a certain behavior result in a certain consequence. You and your husband must agree on this as does your day care person. This strategy must be applied by all caregivers and without fail. I think a few times of this and he will stop. If this doesn't work, then I think you need to learn where he learned this behavior. You may have to change your daycare situation. Maybe you should watch how your daycare person interacts with your child and other children. Just a suggestion.

is there anything that you've noticed that sets off the rage? my son will do this when he's tired and we've waited too long to put him down for his nap. he's also entered the "terrific two's" so he will go into bits of a rage when we take something away (that he's not supposed to be playing with) and when he basically doesn't get his way.

we have started doing timeout with him and that has helped. when he goes into some unwanted behavior we ask him if he wants a time out...and he'll stop what he's doing and actually consider if its worth it (kinda funny). don't forget to let us know how its goin.

rah