I posted about this before... http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/12110498911823790081
Well I found out this morning that her children were taken from her whenever she went to court for something (not sure what). She was on some sort of probabtion to keep her kids, I wasn't aware of that either. She did not complete any of the steps requested of her... getting her GED, parenting classes, going back to school, getting a job. NOTHING. So they took them. Which I think is the best thing for them.
I have been on the phone, getting the run around, all morning trying to locate the children and find out what I need to do to get custody of them and let them live with me. They cannot live with my aunt since my cousin lives with her. But my aunt is just as bad off as my cousin (see link, too much to explain).
Does anyone have any experience with this sort of situation? Any ideas? If I can manage to get the children, does anyone have ideas on how to comfort them? The girl is 3, almost 4 and the baby is 8 months. I have a 4 year old boy of my own.
I finally managed to get the case worker. THe will not let the children get placed with me. I got in trouble in my late teens and cannot pass a background check. No one else from the family stepped up to help or take the kids. They have been placed with a foster family for now.
I can 100% say that visits are not a better route for me at all. My son is an only child. I have plenty of love to go around. My husband and I have already discussed this, every since the last incident where I found out she was pregnant again. Thanks for that suggestion, I appreciate the thought. But that's absolutely out of the question. If the case worker will not release them to me, then I will have to make due with visits. But I think it is much better for the kids to be with family than a foster family.
My heart is beyond broken bc I can only imagine how scared they are. They don't understand anything that's going on. I'm trying to get it to where they are released to my mother's custody and I will just take care of them.
Prayers please. They are just innocent children and deserve love and stability.
Someone on this forum should be able to help you.
http://forums.adoption.com/general-adoptive-parent-support/
Hi'ya MadBad,
I do have experience in this area but it would help me to know what you've already tried so that we can brainstorm around the barriers you are meeting.
What is your financial situation? Could you afford a quick chat with a (reputable) family law attorney?
Check if there are any kinship care support groups in your area. While professionals and legal council can provide a great deal of information, people who have been through this will be able to give you a different perspective, one that comes from experience rather than bureaucratic hoops.
Have you already checked out the DSS site?
http://www.dss.state.la.us/index.cfm?catid=0&md=pageb...
I dont know. I just read your other post and I really hope that the kids can come and live with you, or that you can ensure a stable home for them somewhere else. There are so many stable, wonderful families who would love to raise those children, if you end up not being able to.
Your cousin is an addict and any help or support the family gives her just makes things worse. The best thing for her is to lose her children. Don't waste any more time on her. She will either struggle her way out of addiction, or not. Probably not.
You are right. The children don't have a chance with her. Good luck and I really hope you can find them.
I'm sure that if they were taken by CPS, there is a social worker or a case worker assigned to them.
Before you decide if you want to take these kids in and make them part of your family, talk to your own family about it. It is a huge commitment and should not be done half-heartedly. You will probably need to have a talk with your 4yo, in age appropriate language about. Talk to the CPS social worker about the idea of taking them in and what all that entails.
I am very glad to hear that CPS stepped in--it sounds very much like it was needed. And kudos to you for opening your heart to them. I only wrote the above because you need your DH to be on board with this too, or it might damage your marriage, and if having the kids live with you doesn't "stick" then it will damage them even more.
No idea, but best of luck to you in finding them.
Google adoption support groups in your area and contact them. They will know the roadmap you need to take - much less who to call to find out about the kids.
CPS will not place the children with you, but you can go to the court and apply for guardianship. I had to do that for my GD because I too had something from my past on my record and CPS would not place the children with me. HOWEVER, CPS did tell me that I only had 24 hours to get temporary guardianship before they placed her. I don't know if I would have gotten guardianship if she had already been placed in foster care. I would call the worker back and ask about that.
In order to get it quickly, you should have your cousin sign a Consent form. That way it goes through much easier.
There was apparently a lot going on with the kids that you didn't know. I bet there is also a lot about your cousin that you don't know. Yes, people do drugs because they like it, but they usually like it because it allows them to escape reality. You obviously have never been addicted to drugs so you really houl not assume that you know WHY someone is getting high. By all outward appearances, I had a fantastic childhood, yet there were feelings that I had not and could not deal with - thus drug addiction. You don't always know everything about a person even if you think you know the person well. People's feelings stem from THEIR perception of things - you can't always know what someone else's perceptions are so you can't always know what feelings they are dealing with.
One last thing. You made a big deal in your last post about wanting to help these children yet you never took any steps to take custody of them. I think you wanted to vent, but didn't REALLY want to have to step up to the plate.
We had a very similar situation on our family, however one of my cousins gained custody of the children PRIOR to them going into the "system," (basically she got the kids' parents to sign away their rights before the child welfare people stepped in) so it was easier. I do know that they worked with a family law attorney to accomplish all of the details, and he helped them navigate the system from a legal standpoint. Have you spoken with the social worker assigned to the children?
I remember your story from before. I'm so sorry that you are hitting a roadblock because of a long ago incident. Teens can have a hard time seeing the future and how poor choices can affect them for years to come, so don't beat yourself up too much over this.
I hope that you won't stop trying. Just because social services said no the first time doesn't mean an unequivocable "no". You'll just have to get help getting over the hurdle.
Dawn
Let me begin by saying that taking on the children while a very nice gesture is taking on quite a load for you & for your son. My youngest DD took on 3 of another daughter (of which I have 3 & 2 that none of us have ever met, given up @ birth) temporarily & then became a foster parent for other children. She has a daughter of her own & my DH & I had been w/o children for quite awhile. Your entire style of life & that of your son will be totally changed should you decide to make this decision.
You must contact the local juvenile courts in your county to get the information as to how to obtain custody of the children. The county will NOT give you the name, address, etc. of the foster home in which the children have been placed, this is for the safety of the children & the foster parents. You will have to fill out paperwork to be able to visit with the children. You will be required to have a background check, a home visit, etc. prior to being considered to be placed as a foster home for the children.
The state will, upon acceptance of you & your home give you a case worker, a Gaurdian Ad Litum & possibly a pyschologist for the children to help them through their transitioning (they already have these ppl more than likely).
I am not sure WHY the ppl you have contacted have given you, 'the runaround' about your wanting to get custody, but I do know that you cannot get ANY personal information about the children @ this juncture, it takes time to get you OK'd, so try to have patience.
Good Luck & please give yourself time to think about what you are considering before taking the steps to bring the children into your home, it may be that just having you in their lives to love them on a 'visit' basis might be the better route for you to take...just sayin'....Best!
Hopefully they'll help you there - but if they give you the run-around at CPS, just remind them it is FEDERAL law that they look to relative placement FIRST.....
