L.D.
Hi L.,
My daughter was not potty trained until just before the eve of her 3rd birthday. You are absolutely right to take your cues from your daughter as to how and when to potty train her. Our goal should be to raise healthy, secure kids, not trained seals. That being said . . .
It does sound like she has a gut yeast overgrowth situation going on here and that may be effect her ability to become potty trained. It's not really a cleanliness issue but, for some kids, they are just more prone to yeast overgrowth issues because that's how their digestive systems works. A constant craving for sweets is a good indicator that yeast is an issue, as well as foul smelling poops and possibly a gassy stomach. My son actually had this issue and it took a while for us to figure it out. Our doctor, who is an MD and Homeopath, gave us suppositories and sublingual drops to give him and that has really helped and finally got our son (who is older than 3) to become fully potty trained. If this is true for your daughter as well, she can also be treated with Difulcan and a really high dose probiotic (to replace the good bacteria wiped out by the Difulcan). You will also want to restrict or really limit high-sugar food because sugar feeds yeast.
Good luck.
L.