Friend/coworker -A Little Pushy

You both are, unfortunately, letting your friendship get in the way of your professionalism, although she is doing it far more than you.

I don't know whether it's her depression, or her insecurity, or her professional jealousy of you (thinking she should have had your position, perhaps because she was there longer), but she's using you for two inappropriate purposes: a) to complain about her job & treatment & lack of advancement, and b) to bypass office policies (which perhaps are not as well detailed as they might be) to get off her desk and be seen in an office (perhaps hoping that management will think she "belongs" there or "looks professional" and therefore should be considered for a promotion.

I think you should NOT respond to her email. If you see her (and you will), I think you should absolutely not say that "it's fine this once" to use your office. I'd keep some distance and say that office access is a management decision. I think you, for your own protection, should contact either HR, or the Operations Manager, or whoever is in charge of the office policies. Say that you are uncomfortable and don't want to get someone in trouble (your friend or the person with the key), but that you are concerned that an employee with no business in your office managed to finagle her way in. That it happened to you means it could happen to someone else, and sensitive information could be on anyone's desk or anyone's computer. That you work in technology makes it even more alarming, because there could be passwords exposed.

If there IS a policy on office access, you must point out that it wasn't followed. If there IS NOT a policy, you might point out that there was possible exposure here and perhaps one should be developed. It's okay to say that you have been friendly with this person outside the office and that your friendship pre-dates your employment with the company (and hers), but that you are not letting your prior relationship get in the way. You have to say outright that this was done without your awareness until after the fact, and you want to know how to respond. If she found something in your office or on your computer, and if she uses it somehow, it's going to come back that you knew about it and, worse, were "okay with it" (at least that's what she'll say).

I think you have to reassess this relationship and decide if it's crossing the line of unprofessionalism. Also, is it benefiting you in any way, or are you just her personal complaint department? Your continued association with someone who violates professional standards and who is on notice could have a negative effect on your employment. And she seems to have little respect for your expertise anyway, since she feels she shoulda/coulda had your job. I know you care about her, but if you are bolstering her past the natural consequences that should befall someone who behaves as she does on the job, I'm not sure it's helping either one of you. You may need to establish some distance.

"She is a good friend and is very sensitive and I don't want to hurt her feelings."

I am quoting you here because this is not a volunteer club that you two are working for. This is a real job with a firm that you work for to pays your bills. This is a company who you should be hoping to get raises and promotions from. Instead, you're aligning yourself with a person who will never get a promotion because she is not promotion material. She causes trouble for management and doesn't know when to stop pushing for recognitions she doesn't deserve and isn't qualified for. And though you acknowledge it, you still aren't putting two and two together. You are allowing her to hurt your own chances with this company by continuing to hang out with her at work and talking to her about work issues.

No one should be unlocking your office and giving her access to your desk without her asking management. If you don't tell that person's supervisor this, it's just going to happen again. You need to lock up any papers that are not for public perusal. Each and every day. You should log off of your computer every time you leave your desk. NEVER give your log-on information to anyone for any reason. Never write anything on the computer or access anything that you would not want management or HR to see. You have a home computer for this. Everything your computer at work does is seen by someone in the firm. And if you trust someone with your computer access, you have NO idea what they'll do under your name. Or what they will see that they should not be privy to.

You might be sitting here saying to yourself "Sherry would never screw me". Well, you're wrong. She already takes liberties with you that she shouldn't take. She knows she is not a favored employee and doesn't mind trying to turn you into one too. And she doesn't care about your feelings, telling you that she should have had your job. Of course it's ludicrous, but that's not the point. She is willing to throw you under any bus because she is not successful.

You need to pull away from her and stop talking about the office business. You need to pay attention to your job and the office politics without getting in the fray, and especially in terms of Sherry. Work with YOUR management and when they give you an assignment that involves Sherry, ask them to send her an email or speak to her about it if she starts to give you trouble.

You can figure this out. You may not want to, but you are capable of it. You just have to stop worrying about her feelings. She has her job and she needs to do it if she wants to work there. And you need to do your job and not make time for her fussing.

She for sure crossed a boundary using your office without first asking. I would remind her of the sensitive information there and let her know that it isn't personal.
She REALLY needs to understand that being a receptionist means sitting at the front desk! In my last job I had many duties and one of those duties was reception. There were times I was swamped with other work and wished I wasn't stuck at the front desk but I never even questioned it because I knew that was part of my job.
Good luck, I know when you're friends or just friendly with a coworker it can be awkward.

I had a hard time following this - because there are two issues. I think that's why you're having a problem.

One - the friendship/coworker thing - she's a drain. She's venting to you and I can tell this has become kind of toxic.

It sounds like she is so touchy/pissy now, that you are walking on eggshells around her. That's a problem.

Then there's issue #2. The professional thing. She definitely crossed the line.

She needs to find a new job. She's long overdue.

You need to communicate this happened to management. Request they say they observed her using your desk. That way you are absolved of any part of this. As a manager, I did that all the time if there was an issue between employees. Let them handle this.

They need to nip this in the bud - otherwise it will (as you fear) happen again.

Distance yourself gradually, be firm but kind. She needs to move on.

This is more about office policy.
The office where I use to work allowed people to sit down at any computer in any cubicle and use the machine if they could log on and it wasn't being used by the person who usually sat there.
Annoying but it was something everyone did and management approved of it.

Also - it was a WRITTEN policy - strictly enforced - that everyone HAD to clean off their desk and lock up any sensitive work in a file cabinet when they were not at their desk.
When lap tops came along - the lap tops (if not taken home at the end of the day) also had to be locked in a filing cabinet.
Granted if you have real walls and a lockable door people tend to get even more possessive of their work space - but you lock things up within a file cabinet even if your office locks.

At least temporarily I solved it for my PC for a few months when I caught Hand Foot Mouth from my son (just a few blisters on my hands and feet - never had a temperature - there was no reason for me to take off work over it) and I stuck a post it note on it saying what I had and anyone touching my machine took the risk of catching it themselves.
No one went near my cubicle for months. :-)

Since your office policy allows this borrowing of your office - you lock up what ever needs locking up win a filing cabinet hen you are not there.
You can also also circumvent people using your equipment by detaching keyboard/mouse if you can and locking those up when you aren't there.

There isn't anything you need to say to your friend.
If she's really unhappy at her job then she needs to look for work elsewhere.
I have never heard of a receptionist making a move into tech support unless they got a certificate or degree to show they have earned that skill set.
If she's tired of being a receptionist she needs training to become something else.
You and she may be friends but you are in very different professions so if she's comparing your respective jobs and complaining - you need to let her know that's not a topic you are willing to discuss.

Additional:
I re-read your post and realized this wasn't something management okayed.
She did an end run and got a third party to unlock your office without managements or your permission.
She's crossed a HUGE line here.
I'd be talking to management about it.
The third party needs a dressing down too - management can handle it.
What it comes down to is - she is a security risk and it's either her behind or yours.
When push comes to shove - you protect your job - your friend gets fired.
So far - you are ok if you report it - you are not ok if you don't.
What other offices is she getting into?
Do you want to get fired over this?
Protect yourself!

Additional:
She's kind of heading into disgruntled employee territory.
You really need to be careful.

Personally, I wouldn't talk to her about it, because she is sensitive, and it's likely to cause drama and be an ordeal.

I WOULD talk to whoever let Sherry in your office on your day off and let them know not to automatically open your office for anyone's use, going forward. And tell the same thing to whoever else has access to a key. Tell them you will give them advance notice if someone has your permission to use your space. Tell them that of course, if your supervisor or anyone else at a higher level than you requests access, you understand that's acceptable. But for just general employees, (like Sherry) no. They would need to have your permission (or that of higher level personnel). My guess is Sherry would be told no then if she asks in the future, by someone else.

As an added layer of protection, I wouldn't leave any kind of sensitive information laying around or accessible in any way. Lock your desk drawers, etc.

From what you've shared, I'd bet that Sherry's days at your company are numbered anyway. It seems inevitable that she's going to move on or sink her own ship soon, so it's probably not worth it to get dragged into anything. Then you would still be likely to keep her as good friend, post-co-worker days, if you decide you still want to be friends.

Re-read your post, to yourself, and everywhere the name "Sherry" is, insert a random name, like Eloisa. Pretend you don't know Eloisa. She works, hypothetically, in another department and you don't know her very well, but she did everything Sherry did.

What would your reaction be? I think it would be entirely different from the options you're considering regarding Sherry's intrusion and over-stepping boundaries.

I strongly urge you NOT to email Sherry in a permissive, dismissive way ("it's fine this one time"). You have no idea what Sherry did while she was in your office. She may have snooped.

You need to deal with this professionally, as if Eloisa had intruded into your office. Human Resources, your supervisor, whomever you report to.

That is,only if you value your job, your career, your character references, your integrity, and your reputation as an employee. If this job is just for fun, and the paycheck and benefits are no big deal, and it doesn't matter if your employment or career continues, then help Sherry all you can and handle this yourself.

Sherry is not acting as a friend would. A friend would protect your job and office and space. You don't have to be unkind. Professional doesn't equal unkind. You have to be professional.

She is so not your friend. She just wants your job and is kissing your butt to get it.

What she did is not ok. I would speak to management and print a copy of the email to bring with you when you speak to management about it.
If she broke company policy to use your office you can tell her that it was not ok for her to use your office, and actions against policy are not tolerated and will be reported.

If there is no policy against her borrowing your office then tell her next time ask first. And let her know you are upset about her using your office.

Sherry is being unprofessional at work and manipulative within your personal relationship.

Her feelings are her responsibility. Her behaviors are her responsibility. Yours are yours.

Don't email her back.

I really think there needs to be clarification with management about who can access others' offices, what the procedures are, and what situations would require such access. It puts everyone in jeopardy if these rules are not stated clearly and followed absolutely.

You may need to reassess your friendship with her. Not saying you can't be friends, but why would you allow a friend to treat you this way? She really pushes boundaries with you, tests you, and seems to expect no pushback from you. That doesn't sound like a healthy, balanced friendship.

Do what you need to do to protect your workspace and your job security. A real friend will understand.

I think you should not respond to her email. It is not your office, and so it's not your place to give her - or anyone else - permission to use it. It's the company's office and only those in management should decide who uses that space. I think you should tell the person who let her into your office that they should not do so again unless instructed to by your supervisor, because of confidential information in your office.

If (when) she bring up her use of the office to you, do NOT tell her that it was ok. You can't do that because you don't have the authority to tell her that it was ok. You can say that in the future, all requests to use your office should be approved by your supervisor because neither of you are allowed to make that decision, and leave it at that.

ETA: The more I think about this, the more I agree with others below. You need to talk to your supervisor about this. Management needs to let the person with the keys know that it's not OK to open offices for people to use without their permission, and your friend needs to know (from management) that what she did was not in line with company policy. I'm sure this is hard to do, sorry.

I would let management know that she was in your office without your permission, she could have done numerous things if she has any concept of how to do them.

Ask the management to not let her know it was you that reported it, that someone else had also seen her. As to what they do with her? Maybe she needs more and likes her job overall but needs more.

She is tired and bored with her job. If she is a good employee for this company and has any loyalty they might consider giving her some odd jobs that she could do and feel more useful. Not all employees are going to stay in a receptionist job for more than a year or two before they want to move up in the company.

She might not have the technical skills you have or that others have but she is a person who needs fulfillment from her work. She could take some classes. If the company has any sort of education program she could apply for that and take some night classes at a community/business/vo_tech/on the job training sort of place.