Getting Daughter Prepared for a New Baby

Sounds like you are a great mom!!! I can tell you are because of how much your daughter loves spending time with you. I think you have gotten some very good help so far. My recomendation is to get a good baby sling. Either a ring sling or a pouch. You can find them on the net. I actually make them for everyone I know having a baby. I will tell you with having two little ones around it will be a life saver. You can easily carry your new baby or nurse your new baby and still have your hands free to play with your little girl! Good luck!!! Let me know if you need something else or someone to talk to!!! :)

First of all, babies will learn to throw those fits all in their own time...My son just turned 2 last week, and my daughter will be 1 next week, and even though there's only a year between them, I don't feel they're too close in age....it's reather perfect, and more convenient for me! When I was pregnant with Amelia, I talked to Barron a lot about her, and told him that there is going to be a new baby coming home with us soon. I thought for sure it would take him so long to get used to having a new baby in our home, due to the fact that at that time, he was NEVER around any other babies, or children anywhere close to his age. Also he was rather clingy back then as well. I was concerned at how he'd react to the time I'd be spending with the baby in general, but mostly during the feedings. So here's what I did. I got a little box, and filled it with toys that he either hadn't seen before, or the ones from the bottom of his toy box so he hadn't seen them in awhile. He only got to play with those specific toys during Amelia's feedings, because that way, he had "special" time too. But Barron surprised me when Amelia was born...all he wanted to do was hug and kiss and love on her...he wanted to help out with little things, like holding her binky in her mouth, or holding her bottle, or covering her in a blankie...He has been such a wonderful big brother since the day he became one! And now that they're both a little older, they are the best of friends! There are times where one or both of them throws a fit, and still throws themselves down kicking and screaming...but I just talk to them, and pretty much walk away. I know that sounds bad, but here's the thing...when a child is throwing a fit like that, all they want is attention. They don't care if it's negative attention or not, attention is attention to them...so if we give them that negative attention, they'll keep doing what they're doing. Whereas, if we ignore the temper tantrums, and tell them "okay hunny, mommy will talk to you when you stop crying...she's going to put the groceries away...you tell mommy when you can be a big boy/girl (in your case girl)" Sometimes they'll quit right away realizing they don't have your attention, sometimes it'll take several minutes to realize you're not even in the room anymore. But they'll get the hint. And I totally understand about your daughter constantly wanting to be held, as that's what Barron did to me when I was pregnant with Amelia! He was a BIG boy though....and it was hard on me as at the time my husband was working those VERY same hours, and wasn't the biggest of helps when he got home either....My advise, is to try and break that clingy-ness BEFORE the baby comes, that way your daughter doesn't "resent" him in a way for "taking her mommy away"...A lot of things have already changed in your house, and will continue to change, and having a new baby coming home soon will change everything even more...It'll be confusing to her, but it'll be a fun experience for everyone. I admire you for deciding to have the two so close in age. It's not easy! But it's so much fun! One more thing though, for after the baby arrives, your daughter will take is so much easier if you allow her curiosities to be pampered. Meaning, if she wants to touch the baby while he's in the bouncer or the swing, don't yell out "no no don't touch", instead walk over to her, talk to her soothingly, saying something like "awww, your little brother sure does love you (and say her name to make it personal for her)" and say all the time that she's a good big sister, and that it's okay for her to touch, as long as she's "gental" or "careful"....it also teaches them the meaning of the word! Anyhow, good luck to you with everything! Let me know how it goes, and one very last thing...do you have his name picked out? CONGRATULATIONS, AND GOOD LUCK!

There is an old wives tale that says if the youngest child of a mother is extremely clingy, then the unborn baby will be the opposite sex and if the youngest child wants nothing to do with the mother, its the same sex. lol This has actually worked with my babies. lol OK I know its an old wives tale and that it doesnt help you out much, but think about this. Your one yr old is in tuned with you and every way, like your husband is sometimes too. She is experincing all the same emotions as you, just she cant express them as we can. She knows something BIG is happening, yet cant quite understand what. My 2 yr old was 1 when I was pregnant and she was very clingy with me when daddy wasnt home, and wanted nothing to do with me when he was (I had a girl ;)) She was trying to understand everything going. When the baby was born, we had a lot of problems and the baby spent 10 days in the NICU, so my experince when we got home finally might be a bit different, but my two yr old wanted nothing to do with the baby for the longest time, well the baby is only 4 months old, but it felt like a long time. She has come around now and loves up the baby. All kids who go thru a major change, moving, new baby, new daycare, etc, get upset and cant tell you why or what. Just keep being consistant and remind her that no matter what, she is special and important too. Its hard to balance things, especially at the end of pregnancy and you cant do all the things you use too, but this is just as hard on her. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but its the best I can tell you. Congratulations, and Good Luck. If you ever need someone to talk to, give me a buzz.

I am going to suggest taking some time away from the little one. I am a stay at home mom too and had a very clingy daughter as well. You need to get some on to watch her while you go and do your arends preferably daddy or a faimily member. The more you go out by yourself and come home, the more your kid will get used to you leaving, and be more ok with it. If you can't get out then try just stepping outside for a while some kids just need some time to themselves to.

I have a 5yr old and a 4 month old, So the transition to another child was not to long ago for us!! It took steps at first for him to understand that babys need lots of attention they cant do what he can....WALK,TALK,FEED THEM SELF,ETC. But the best piece of advice I could give you is discipline! Be very consistent and let her know about the baby. Read books, watch movies, always tell her about being a BIG GIRl and your HELPER!!! That one really helped for us....(HE WAS THE DAIPER BOY) we would count down from 10 to see how fast he could throw the diaper away to HELP mommy!! Always trying to make it fun and make them apart of it! So, they dont feel left out! I hope I gave you some helpful pointers!!!
~GOOD LUCK~
V., nebraska mother of 2