Going Out of mind...literally

Hi L.,

You don't mention your age. Normally I wouldn't ask but you know you sound a LOT like me when I was younger. :) He.. he.. I don't like to think of myself as "older" because I'm only 39 and holding. Interestingly enough, I used to be exactly like you describe yourself. But then .. after a few more years, I realized that I was not losing it over "nothing". Usually "something" ticked me off. I'm a very emotional person so I get frustrated, angry, happy, sad, silly etc. with the change of the wind.. you never know how I'll be feeling at any given moment. I've learned however, to cope with those feelings without ever being medicated. Those around me have learned to cope with my moods and they all know what things will push my buttons. Now I'm not that difficult to live with at least I hope not.. but there are certain silly things that really get to me and so it's very simple for my husband and kids to make sure they don't do those silly things. :) For instance, I drink diet dr. pepper.. so don't take the last cold one in the fridge. :) How hard is that? It brings me happiness to find a cold Dr. Pepper in the fridge and I always put more in when i take the last one.

Basically, if you take a good hard look at yourself, and if you find there are some things that should not make you so upset, then consciously attempt to change your reaction each time that thing happens. I believe life is a learning process and we all have to learn to deal with emotions, whatever causes them. And as women we have SO many times in our lives that we can attribute emotions to hormones, from puberty, to pregnancy, to menopause. And there is always someone out there to tell you .. you are crazy! But who says we have to be "normal" ... I embrace my life changes.. and when I'm depressed, I say to myself. .there must be something I need to do or a change in my life for the positive that needs to be done to make me feel better. If I'm angry.. I think about the situation and ask myself, am I rightfully angry or do I need to talk to a friend or am I under extra stress.. am I being reasonable. Sometimes I write my thoughts down so they become clearer. Reading them back usually I'm able to figure out my feelings even better.

I believe I am my own best Psychologist. I know myself better than anyone else.. and if I don't understand my own behavior.. who better to analyze myself than me. :) I am by the way, my own best friend. ;)

I have always thought that women these days (aside from actual disorders) often times look for quick fixes to issues or to resolve feelings. I think it's a bad idea to take medicines to cover up actual problems in your life. If you are truly down and you don't seem to be able to pick yourself up, you may need to see a doctor. I'm by no means saying that all women can just cure themselves. Coming here is probably a great step because sharing your feelings with others can be a very liberating act.

W.

Hi L.,

I can very much relate to what you are going through My partner, my son's dad is bi-polar so I have learned quite a bit about it over time. I have also battled depression myself for years but refussed to take any meds. I just read this fantastic book by a Dr. Shoshanna Bennett, called "Postpartum Depression for Dummies", it's a really great book, well written with all the right questions and answers. She talks about depression in general, not just post partum. She also treats people with bi-polar disorder. She has found a nutritional system that feeds the brain the nutrients that it needs to feel happy, well, and balanced, giving it all that it needs to produce the right neurotransmitters like serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. The system is all natural and organic. The poducts are even safe for children. I just started it a few weeks ago and it works! I feel really wonderful. My partner saw the difference in me and began 3 days ago and felt a difference immediatly. Bellow is what she says about it in her book. You can call her and talk to her she is soooooo nice and generous with her time and knowledge. She told me when we spoke that bi-polar people do very well on this system and I can see that already. Best of luck, C.

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I understand how you feel. I am the same way. It became alot worse after I had my baby and he is now ten months. I can switch from one extreme to the next. I do not take anything for it, usually I do the same and just take a step back to calm down. Essential Oils are a great natural way to calm yourself. I have some mixed essential oils that there purpose are to be calming. I cant remember whats all in there but lavander is a great one. I find that just about any essential oil has a real calming effect. Hang in there, dont worry you are not alone. haha if you find a way let me know too.

Ask your doctor. Have u tried St.John's Wort or tryptophan?

Hello L., I can totally relate to your situation. My sister would tell me that I was a manic depressant because of the way I would act. As I have gotten older, I realized that these actions were centered around a certain time of the month. It was usually the week before and the week of my period. I can also relate to the uncanny ability to handle really overwhelming situations, but I now contribute that to how I was raised. We has one crisis after another and so now it seems that is the only time I am in control. It is the little everyday things that still feel out of control to me, but I found out that I also have a generalized anxiety disorder (also attributed to my childhood). It causes me to feel panicky and chaotic about the smallest things as well as easily fatigued. The fatigue and out of control feelings cause me to lash out and then I feel upset about it later because I do not want to hurt my husband's or children's feelings. I do not take anything for it, but I am starting to accept and understand it. By doing this I allow myself the feelings without letting them control me. Knowing that I am not going crazy helps too. I am glad to hear that you are getting out of the house and taking brakes from the kids. This helped me too. It might also help to get your husband involved with some of the everyday household duties. By switching up the responsibilities daily, you will not feel that you are bogged down in a never ending cycle of dishes, clothes, meals, and the many other daily chores that we have. Do not forget to take some very important and very necessary time for yourself. That is quiet time for you to do what ever it is that you enjoy doing. That might be taking a long bath, reading a book, a walk in the park, etc. You take care of everyone else but if you do not take care of yourself, it affects the quality you use to take care of others. You have to fill yourself up before you can give yourself out.

O.K. What you have is not bipolar disorder, trust me I know. What you have is normal. It might be brought on by stress or hormones. Either way you are the only one that knows how to calm yourself. If it is just watching a good movie or reading a good book, you have to have you time. On Thursdays I shut the door to my room while my husband watches the kids and I watch Greys Anatomy and work out. If you can't do something like this go for a nice walk at a beautiful park with your girls. Excercise in any form helps raise endorphins and seritonin levels which makes you feel happy. If this is not for you may I suggest a drink at night before bed.

I feel the same way most days - I even recently told my husband I wondered if I wasn't bipolar. It's nice to hear someone else say the same thing. I've suffered from clinical depression for many years and took prescribed antidepressants until I had my son three years ago. Since then I haven't and I've been good for the most part. Recently a friend of ours told us to try Kava Kava - it's along the same lines as St. John's Wort but more potent, from the way he described it. He said it really mellows you out and relaxes you. I'm actually on my way today to get some. If you come up with something else, will you let me know, please? Thank you!

Oh yeah! This sounds very normal to me! I have days where I can't seem to keep my cool and other days I can handle almost anything.

I tend to have the bad days after a repeat of disturbed sleep nights.. those nights when sounds wake you up... and you need to use the restroom.. or check on someone... after those.. forget it!

And after a few good night sleeps.. everything is rosy.

It has been proven that sleep deprivation can cause so much trouble with us mentally and physically. I would suggest trying to get a set time for going to bed and getting up.. maybe a wind down.. whenever that might be.. maybe a warm cup of tea.. turn all the lights out.. do one last check... bathroom... bed... a good ritual.

I use pills to cover up something like a headache.. not to cure it or keep it from happening again. I workout and eat better to do that.

Help solve a problem is taking a positive action and step forward.

You can do this. You are an amazing creature.. a woman! :)
I hope this helps.
Hugs,
A.

I don't about you...but when I got to the point while raising my two kids that I was getting frustrated alot, etc. I started them in daycare. It was the BEST thing I ever did for them and myself. It gave me a break and I went back to work part-time and it made me really enjoy the time I had with them. They got alot out of being around other kids, learning, playing, etc...they juts blossomed! Even if you don't go back to work part-time, you can do volunteer work, some mommy time, time to get things done and caught up around the house, garden, etc. I'd check into at least a three-day daycare program or Mother's Day Out. With good searching with both children I found small, wonderful, loving, educational day-care places that were awesome! My little boy (2 1/2) was getting delayed at home talking, eating, etc...and he has blossomed in just two months. He's eating more, (he's up another clothes size), he's talking more, he's more active, he has really come out of his shell. It's the best thing I've ever done for him. I can pick him up early when I want to, although I try not to before 3:00 (wake-up from nap time), and I LOVE the time I have with him. I'm a better mommy to both of my kids with the break I get. I get to do volunteering and I love being able to do that...plus start working on a career part-time in the near future. Don't feel guilty or let anyone make you feel guilty about putting them in day-care or a MDO program. It's the hardest job anyone has to do...being a Mom, although it is the most fulfilling...and if being with them all the time is getting you to the point you're feeling like you described, the best service you can do for them and yourself is time for them for themselves with other kids and time for you.

Hi L.,

I can totally relate. I have a tendency to go from 0 to 60 in 0.2 seconds. I know how you feel about resenting yourself as well. But I know in my heart that I am a good person with a servant's heart and that helps to keep me balanced.

I found a great natural product at my store. I shop with Melaleuca and they have over 400 products that are all environmentaly safe, with out harsh chemicals, and are safe for our homes and bodies. They have a supplement product line (the best of science and nature), Nature's Medicine cabinet, a bath & body care product line, and EcoSense home cleaning product line. All of there products use natural ingredients and I just love them.

Luminex (St. John's Wart & Griffonia Seed) is a patened, natural alternative for promoting emotional health, enhanced mood, and general well-being. (Right off the bottle)

Melaleuca does not pay millions for advertising, they entrust their happy customers (like me) to advertise by word of mouth. That way they can spend their money on the scientific researd for the awesome products. If you want some info on how you can get Luminex, please let me know. I love referrals!

To your health!!

M. L.

www.WAHU.HealthyHomeTour.com
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St. John's Wart (in the vitamin section).

I like Wendy's response to your concern. She is a positive energy person and we women need this in our life, especially being around children all day. I also like the fact you are seeking a natural health remedy. Because it has helped me, I recommend you see a naturopath. She will be able to tell you if you are (or not) vitamin or mineral defficient and help you with any imbalances you may have. There could be a simple reason "why" the mood swings. You will love yourself for this. Take care and stay well.

I know how you feel. I feel like I need anger management sometimes. My husband or my kids will do something and it just make me so mad that I am yelling and crying and I feel so bad afterwards. Lately, though, I have tried extra hard not to get so mad cause I am almost 6 months pregnant and I have heard that if you are calm then your new baby will be calm. So I make my husband deal with stuff that I know will upset me so I don't get stressed out and I can stay calm.

That sounds a lot like me. I would go off on crying spells, sometimes I didn't even know why, but other times I was calm. After having my two girls, my hormone levels went crazy. When my youngest was around 6 months old, I was diagnosed with PMDD (premenstral dysphoric disorder) and PPD (post partum depression.) Mine became so extreme I had to have medication for it and was put on Serafem. I'm not one to pop pills so just as soon as my hormones started leveling off, I started trying to find ways to deal with the PMDD without prescription medication. I'm almost there!

Like Wendy, I had to learn what set me off. I had to make a conscience effort to change my reactions to certain situations. I had to figure out if there was something else that was bothering me and deal with that. I did let my family and friends know what was going on so I could build a support system. I found that reading books and writing stories was a good stress relief to help me unwind and escape after a tough day. My husband was very supportive. (Or he was scared, I'm not sure which...Haha!) My doctor was a great help and source of information as well. But mostly for me, just finding others to talk to about issues has worked a great deal. I'm a member of a message board and am able to talk about stesses with other moms who deal with similar situations.

Bless you heart, okay you are a mom and all of us have levels of highs and lows daily but my first question is are you on any birthcontrol ? The reason I ask is b/c alot of the times the BC can cause you to moody,and have severe mood swings...and if you are on something possibly consider switching or alternate methods I was on the patch for a year and there were literally days my husband never knew what he was going to get....it made me question myself on whether or not I was going crazy.....I guess bottom line you are not alone....but I would consult your doctor b/c it is probably alot to do with hormones....have a blessed day.