Graphic Talk on Elementary School Yard

Updated on January 13, 2014
A.L. asks from Cerritos, CA
8 answers

Hi everyone,

Delicate subject matter here so I won't go into too much detail, but it's come to my attention that a child in my 3rd grader's class is discussing, erm, inappropriate material on the playground. Much more detailed than the usual birds & the bees stuff, plus the child claims they're going to sneak in a video.

Is this the norm for 8+9 year olds these days?? How would you react to this? I know it's a different world now, but I wasn't expecting this or another couple of years. Guess I'm naive.

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So What Happened?

Hi all,
Thanks so much for the great advice -- and for sharing your stories. Every post has been so helpful and insightful, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who is off-put by this situation. I will let the teacher know about this today.

Featured Answers

R.X.

answers from Houston on

Don't go to the Counselor, go to the teacher. At that age, students have more rapport with their teachers and they crave the respect of the teacher.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 3rd grade brother told me about sex when I was in 5th grade but we certainly never watched any videos.

How would I react....I would make sure my child knew the facts about sex. I would would also tell them that discussing things like oral sex, sex toys etc. is adult stuff and not appropriate for a 3rd grader to be discussing. I would also tell them they can ask me any question but they are not to "educate" their classmates.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If it came to your attention, you should talk to the teacher, especially if this child is planning to bring in a video. You should also teach your own child how to respond and to walk away when the kid starts talking or playing show and tell.

3 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Talk to the school. Even if it is the new normal it's not something that should be going on.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

If I were a teacher, I'd want to know. So, just talk to the teacher and ask her to let the recess monitors know to keep an extra eye out.

I would react calmly, thank my kid for telling me about that, and as far as my own kid was concerned, just talk about our family values and give him an 'exit strategy' should uncomfortable conversations come up.

I don't think it's the norm, and the kids at my son's school aren't allowed to use their cells at school/on the playground until they are in at least Grade 6 (it's a k-9-- younger kids with phones out/being used --- the phones are held by the teacher.)

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

not okay at all. the kids should know the mechanics and correct verbiage, but graphic smut is not not not okay.
i'd react calmly but decisively. first off, how did you find out about it? if your child came to you, i'd express appreciation for his honesty (keep those communications lines open), tell him simply but plainly why i object, and help him figure out appropriate coping strategies (shrugging and walking away, stating 'i'm not supposed to watch that kind of thing', suggesting alternative things to do) and i'd inform the school and work with them on (calmly and decisively) shutting this down.
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Not the norm around here. I would talk to other parents or go to the teacher/counselor with the information you have.

My youngest son is in the 4th grade, and I have and older son in the 10th grade. I'm surprised at how innocent they remained for so long (my youngest is still surprisingly innocent). It may be the way our district divides grades. K-4th is in elementary, so they don't have older kids with them. Then 5th and 6th is in a building all alone, and 7th and 8th is in a separate building. 9th through 12th is in high school. I didn't think I would like splitting them up this way, but it does seem to keep kids younger longer. When I was in the 4th grade, I knew much more about sex than my son does.

1 mom found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Something like this happened to my 5th grader. He came home and said a boy in band kept "making humping noises" and making inappropriate sexual gestures with his band instrument. My son is pretty conservative and sensitive so I emailed the teacher and another advisor since he said he told the band teacher and the band teachers response was that he could wait until school ends and to get over it. So guess who emailed me back? THE PRINCIPAL!!!! He said he personally talked to the band teacher, my son was moved away from the kid, and said if anything else happens to let him know immediately. So sometimes the teacher have so much to deal with you need to go above them to get it resolved. But this needs to be addressed immediately. Start with the teacher and have your child tell you if it keeps happening. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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